Single Gal: Sticker Shock in Silicon Valley (taxes, price)

[NatureGirl26]

I'm not opposed to an American of course but it's got be chop-chop. He has six months to seal the deal or goodbye and good luck.

[RVD90277]

lol you're definitely a girl on a mission...might not want to lay on that strong from the get go...guys can be a little commitment phobic, etc.

[KaaBoom]

Originally Posted by shoenberg3

Show me a city park that looks anything like this.

Find A Park/Facility | The City of Portland, Oregon

The Big Bowl: Seven Oaks Oval | Minneapolis Park History

the Seattleites' Diary: Seattle's Best Walking Trails

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by RVD90277

lol you're definitely a girl on a mission...might not want to lay on that strong from the get go...guys can be a little commitment phobic, etc.

They might actually be human as well, as opposed to a convenience.

[ggcd951]

Originally Posted by NatureGirl26

Hi everyone! I'm a single gal in the South (Atlanta) who moved to Silicon Valley for a few weeks just to explore the possibility of relocating to the area.

I loved:

1. The natural scenery. Not in the immediate vicinity of Santa Clara, Sunnyvale, or San Jose which are just sprawling suburbia like any other suburbs anywhere else...but farther away...closer to the coast, Lake Tahoe, Muir Woods, Yosemite, etc.

2. The diversity. The South is pretty much black or white although Atlanta does have a growing Korean and Indian community.

3. I loved how liberal the SFBA was. Atlanta has a liberal core In The Perimeter and is moderate in the immediate suburbs, but becomes Bible Belt-ish the farther out you go.

4. San Francisco. Amazing dining, culture, opera, symphony. This city is a yuppie's playground.

5. Educated and worldly people. I went on three dates in the few weeks I was there. Two were with Harvard grads and one was with a Stanford grad. I was so sad when I had to fly back to Atlanta.

Now, here are my gripes:

1. Most of the rental housing stock in Silicon Valley, the Peninsula, and SF seemed old, dingy, dilapidated, and outdated to me. To add insult to injury, I was paying $3K per month to live in a crappy little shoebox built in the 1950s. Atlanta housing stock is fairly new and I'm used to paying about $1400 a month for my beautiful home with an island in the kitchen with granite countertops, a stainless steel fridge and double oven, two vanity sinks in every bathroom, vaulted wooden ceilings, french windows with plantation shutters, huge walk-in closet, and beautiful cherry wood floors.

2. I'm a nature-lover and it took forever to get anywhere near it in the Bay Area traffic. Atlanta traffic is brutal, however Atlanta is a city in a forest. There are tall pine trees covered with kudzu on either side of every freeway. Trees, trees, trees, everywhere! I look out of my office and see so much green! I can sit on my back porch and see nothing but trees and a there's a small wildlife preserve behind my house. Going from such lush greenery to dense suburbia that resembles some place in Mexico was very jarring for this Southern girl who loves country roads, large lawns, horse farms, and white picket fences. Wide open spaces with lots of natural beauty calm my soul!

3. Salaries. They're only 10% to 15% higher in the Bay Area for someone in my industry. However, state income taxes are around 10% in CA (5% in GA) and the cost of living is daunting.

I'm Asian and I don't really fit in, in the South. I loved socializing with the intellectual and worldly men I met in the Bay and I would love to marry one of them. Yet, so much of my make-up is Southern when it comes to my preference for housing (away from people, not overly dense).

If you were me, what would you do? Take a leap of faith and move to the SF Bay Area? Maybe a place like Napa will suit me better? Fewer people, less stress, etc.?

if you got a sticker shock why stay where you are? if not come over. simple as that

[dburbs1975]

read through this thread and can just say, even as a female, there is a reason this lady is still single. it is not a factor of location.

[bobby_guz_man]

OK, any single guys in this forum wants to get hitched to the OP? Take one for the team!!!!

[ambient]

Originally Posted by NatureGirl26

The strategy is to seduce someone on a work visa because then he'll be eager to hurry up and marry. I really don't want to date indefinitely. There's no point having a relationship that goes nowhere in my thirties. If I were 22, then, yeah, I'd want to explore my options for a decade. There's got to be something to show at the end of all that dating.

Your strategy sounds really fool-proof. I can tell a lot of careful thought went into it.

Seduce and cajole someone with whom you have minimal experience - with a potentially very different cultural background to boot - into inking a supposedly life-long legal relationship commitment with you as quickly as possible, at least partly out of exploitative economic necessity/advantage for him. What could possible go wrong with that??

You know, romantic relationships do not actually lend themselves to strictly rational checklist approaches that you can force through on a schedule, like your career and home moves. Inconvenient as it may be, you may wish to consider that inability to understand the nature of successful relationships could be contributing to your single status.

[otterprods]

Originally Posted by ambient

Your strategy sounds really fool-proof. I can tell a lot of careful thought went into it.

Seduce and cajole someone with whom you have minimal experience - with a potentially very different cultural background to boot - into inking a supposedly life-long legal relationship commitment with you as quickly as possible, at least partly out of exploitative economic necessity/advantage for him. What could possible go wrong with that??

You know, romantic relationships do not actually lend themselves to strictly rational checklist approaches that you can force through on a schedule, like your career and home moves. Inconvenient as it may be, you may wish to consider that inability to understand the nature of successful relationships could be contributing to your single status.

Dr. Phil...? Aren't you supposed to be in a TV studio right now?

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by ambient

Your strategy sounds really fool-proof. I can tell a lot of careful thought went into it.

Seduce and cajole someone with whom you have minimal experience - with a potentially very different cultural background to boot - into inking a supposedly life-long legal relationship commitment with you as quickly as possible, at least partly out of exploitative economic necessity/advantage for him. What could possible go wrong with that??

You know, romantic relationships do not actually lend themselves to strictly rational checklist approaches that you can force through on a schedule, like your career and home moves. Inconvenient as it may be, you may wish to consider that inability to understand the nature of successful relationships could be contributing to your single status.

Yes it does have a bit of an Asperger's sort of bullet point checklist vibe, doesn't it? Just a wee bit too calculating to be taken terribly seriously.