10 things I won't miss about SV (San Jose, Fresno: condo, daycare, house)

[AA702]

So where are you moving to Mr. treedonkey? good luck on your future home. I hope you get all the rain and snow you can shovel.

[treedonkey]

Palmer Lake, CO
Like is said in my, OP there are many thing I've loved about living here in the Bay Area, and there are many things I will miss when I leave. It's just that the weather, among other things, is not really one of them. I prefer changing seasons, and unlike many Californians I'm not terrified by any weather besides sunshine. Shoveling snow is a drawback, of course, but fortunately I'll be working from home so it won't be too bad.

[Ludachris]

The things I love and miss about Silicon Valley (SV) since we moved away (to Denver, CO) 3 years ago:

1. Friends/family. This is what we miss most hands down.

2. Being close to SF, Napa, Monterey, Tahoe, all the beaches, and any of the wonderful destinations in Norcal. Northern California is beautiful and has so much to offer that you easily get spoiled. There are so many things to do, places to eat, and things to experience in the Bay Area, which makes it so unique and special.

3. The mild weather. Though it doesn't have 4 true seasons, it's the most consistent weather I've been around. In the summer you've got a 99% chance of it being sunny and warm. Driving around with the top down or sunroof open in summer and fall is priceless.

4. Ethnic diversity and all of the positives that come with it (mostly the food for me). The culture is what makes the Bay Area what it is. You have to accept the good with the bad - not all cultures are super friendly and it does get a little frustrating when a number of people can't speak English. It just makes it difficult to communicate. But it's the best place I've seen where so many different cultures live, work, and play together.

5. Though California is known to be a liberal state, you actually get a good mix of political views. Once you move out of the state you quickly realize how conservative (and in some ways, intolerant) the landscape is in many other parts of the country. Californians are very accepting of all people from all backgrounds.


The things I don't miss about SV:

1. The number of unfriendly people in the area. Our neighbors in our old neighborhood rarely made any effort to even say "hi" to us. For the most part, you get the feeling that people in SV don't have time to be friendly to others. You tend to get terrible customer service, even in the ultra expensive areas like Saratoga or Palo Alto - which tend to be snobby. Grocery clerks, real estate agents, waiters/waitresses... anybody. It's a noticeable difference when you leave California. Having lived in the Denver area the past 3 years, it's a welcome change having people act courteous and friendly, whether you're walking down the street, buying some groceries, or having dinner out.

2. The traffic can be horrible at any time of day, any day of the week. And people drive very aggressive. There's no way around it. It may not be as bad as SoCal, but it's bad. Your stress levels automatically drop when you move away. Trust me.

3. The cost of housing is ridiculous when you assess what you're getting for your money (and quality of life). The neighborhoods most middle class and upper middle class families can afford require a great deal of compromise. Finding a nice home in a nice area with good schools for under a million dollars is almost unheard of - you can get one or two, but usually not all three. Chances are it's going to be a 30 year old home that requires a decent amount of work, and the neighborhood will likely look run down. Even if you do find a nice area to live in, you usually have to travel outside of it, to the not-so-nice areas, to use local services. Not to mention the side affects - all of the kids that grow up with little parental guidance since most families need dual incomes to pay for the high cost of living - leaving their kids to fend for themselves and depend more on outside influences. You sacrifice more than you realize to live in SV, especially as parents, and it shows in the kids.

4. The ultra materialistic, super trendy, status-crazed mindset that almost everyone seems to have. It's all about the bling in the Bay Area. Everyone, even those who can't afford it, are trying to appear as if they have lots of money. From the fancy cars to the high priced fashion trends (sunglasses with the brand name in huge letters on the side) to the ritzy hang-outs. It's all about competing with the Joneses. You'll see plenty of people who don't take pride in their home but will drive a Benz around with the expensive wheels and shiny watch hanging out the window... it's enough to make you want your children growing up somewhere else where values run a little deeper than the name brand jeans you're wearing.

5. The taxes. For paying so much in property and sales taxes, you get very little back in return. The highways are always in shambles, the school system is falling apart. The local services leave lot to be desired. California needs to figure out how they got in the situation where they have to charge such high taxes and can't put hardly any money back into the communities.

Sorry if I offended anybody. But these are my sincere views on the area. Some will be able to relate, others will not. Some may even get upset reading it.

I was born and raised in the south Bay Area. I didn't notice a lot of this until I was in my late 20's. When you move out of state you realize how bad certain things really were and how you don't really want your kids to grow up in that environment - it's quite a bit different than when I was young.

Strangely enough, we're considering moving back to California so that our daughter can grow up closer to family. But with all of the reasons I stated above, we likely won't move back to the Bay Area. We'll be close enough to enjoy all it has to offer, but we'd rather be just outside of the rat race.

[treedonkey]

That was a very excellent and insightful comment, Ludachris, very helpful. That's exactly the sort of response I was hoping for, and it only took a week to get it. You're right, some (maybe many) will disagree and criticize with your assessment, but I agree almost 100%. All of the things you miss are exactly what I expect to miss (except the weather, for the most part, but that's just me), especially the friends and family, although we don't have much family left here anymore.

As for the things you won't miss, just reading your list reassures me that our move to CO will be a good thing for us. Especially re: the housing and ultra-materialism.

[Ludachris]

Originally Posted by treedonkey

That was a very excellent and insightful comment, Ludachris, very helpful. That's exactly the sort of response I was hoping for, and it only took a week to get it. You're right, some (maybe many) will disagree and criticize with your assessment, but I agree almost 100%. All of the things you miss are exactly what I expect to miss (except the weather, for the most part, but that's just me), especially the friends and family, although we don't have much family left here anymore.

As for the things you won't miss, just reading your list reassures me that our move to CO will be a good thing for us. Especially re: the housing and ultra-materialism.

You'll find that once you get out of California, the typical California belief that everyone wants to live in California isn't necessarily true, especially here in Colorado. We used to be afraid of snow, being that we never lived in it. Strangely enough, there are certain weather trends that I like better out here - the cooler evenings are great, and afternoon summer thunderstorms - what a beautiful thing to watch. Fall is gorgeous out here.

Sure, I don't enjoy shoveling my driveway, but only have had to do it 5 times a year on average. The snow in Denver isn't as much a negative as most Californians would have you think - especially with the natural beauty that comes along with it in the holiday months. And we don't get all that much really. I'm pretty sure Tahoe gets more snow than we do. I'd have to say that I'd miss the weather out here if we end up moving back to California as much as I'd miss the California weather. And with all of the positives the area has, the weather becomes a non issue.

For us, it's being car ride away from family compared to a plane ride that is the key issue.

[tikaC]

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I just thought I'd chime in with some impressions, having just moved back to the Bay Area after living in CT for six years. Please don't take these observations as attacks of those that have been shared already, as they are just an opinion based on my own (seemingly endless) CT experience.

Driving in SV is a piece of cake compared to the Northeast! I was scared for my life a couple of times, and happy to have made it home safely on those occasions. Somehow here in the Bay Area I'm able to steer clear of the crazy drivers.

Winter and the snow is cute and fun in December and January. Not so much when it won't leave and you're shoveling snow in April. I'm happy to drive up to Tahoe for small doses of winter at a time, no shoveling required.

Unfortunately, I think that the wintertime brings out the worst in people in CT and surrounding areas, as people are much more decent to one another in the Summer and Fall. I have been treated well here in CA, finding that if I smile and say hello then it's reciprocated (in CT I was glowered at).

To balance it out, some things I'll miss about CT: summer thunderstorms, summer music festivals, balmy summer evenings (haha, notice a trend? summer! ), seeing the first daffodil or crocus flower emerging in springtime.

All in all, I'm very happy to be back in CA. Now I'm off to hopefully find a thread about available tennis courts in SJ, my original goal in visiting this forum.

Oh, and best of luck to you in your new home!

[treedonkey]

I would think the driving in CT would be a drag any time of year, but especially in the dead of winter. Fortunately, CO is not CT.

There are some municipal Tennis courts in Downtown SJ, just east of 237 and north of San Carlos along the Guadalupe trail. I don't remember the exact name or cross-streets, but you maps should show it clearly. They seem like they're usually empty.

[krudmonk]

Originally Posted by treedonkey

There are some municipal Tennis courts in Downtown SJ, just east of 237 and north of San Carlos along the Guadalupe trail.

That would be 87.

[treedonkey]

Yes. 237. Thank you.
Right between where W. Santa Clara crosses under 237 and over Guadalupe River.
Google Maps

[al_roethlisberger]

We moved to the Raleigh NC area about 3 years ago, after my living in SV for about a decade, and my wife having been raised in Redwood City & Fremont. As many have pointed out, much has changed in the San Jose area even over that short time.

We certainly miss all the "good" things people typically mention about California, and family is a part of that. But our move to NC was a much better fit for our family and lifestyle. Plus we have weather and seasons!

I also have to agree with most of the "bad" things mentioned in this post. In summary, in my opinion SV just isn't very family friendly for the "average family" unless you have the means to afford to live in the few neighborhoods that are, or live well outside of the metro areas.

...and the pace of living in SV also just wears one down, at least for a family.

I personally think that the SV we know today is ideally suited to DINK or single professionals, whose priorities and tastes are often quite different than families. Now, note that I said "different", not wrong. I was a single professional for many years before moving into family mode, and I can say from experience that it is simply a different mindset. And one could easily see that trend in our old neighborhood and my peers/colleagues, as they had families and moved away.

Of course different people will have different experiences, tastes, and perspectives on this topic, but our experience was that SV was just too expensive, too hectic, and too harsh for our growing family.... although it also is fair to say that the SV/Bay Area also offers a tremendous amount of activities and services for families and children. One just has to deal with the whole package that is SV.

If I had remained single and child-free, I might have remained in SV, had a different perspective, and have a very different lifestyle, but life took me elsewhere. And I can say that even with everything that is amazing about California, we are happy with our move and love it here in our adopted home state and town.

That fancy Italian motorcycle I used to ride around the corner down to Santana Row and Alice's to show off now sits gathering dust in my garage. Changed priorities, that's all

Al