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I currently live in a little farm town in Wisconsin but i am thinking about moving to San Jose. I am turning 17 and would have no family or friends out there except my uncle. I would be renting a room in his condo and my mom would be covering most of my expenses so I don't think i would really have to worry about money but i would be getting a part time job. I'm going to finish high school online so i don't have to worry about that either. I'm afraid of the crime there since i come from a place with no crime at all and i'm young and on my own so i pretty much have a huge target on my head. And i'm worried about being alone. I'll have no friends there which i don't have any here either but i have family here which i don't rely on much.
Basically I just don't know if it is worth it or if i can handle the difference in cultures. I really feel like i need to get out of Wisconsin though. I've never really been to a big city but i definitely hate being stuck in the country. Is San Jose a bad place to live or a bad idea for me?
Where do you plan on going to school for fashion design?
San Jose is actually quite safe compared with other large cities, and even a fair number of small ones. It is probably not as safe as your small town, but if you take reasonable precautions, you'll be fine.
The being alone part is tough, but you're going to have to deal with that at some point no matter what.
I am more concerned with your long term prospects. As far as I know, San Jose doesn't have a fashion design school, and this would not really be the place for that, although maybe other areas of CA might work for that (LA or San Francisco?).
I am more concerned about your goals in life. This is not a cheap place to live. People who are happy here are usually people who are goal oriented and worked both hard and smart toward their goals.
People who are unambitious or are in low paying jobs/careers are often frustrated by the high cost of living here. Sure, the wages at Target are higher here than they are where you live, but they don't make up for the higher cost of living.
I would recommend a book for you in regard to career/finance. I wish a book like this had been around when I was 17:
It's called:
The Difference: How Anyone Can Prosper in Even The Toughest Times
Remember there is no place like home or MOM no matter where you are.
Stay home and finish high school, go to college in CA and then move on the become a real adult.....dont rush your life.
It sounds like you have nothing to lose. And you are young so you should get as many experiences as possible if anything it would make you appreciate where you are from more or give you a better idea of what you are looking for. You can take the BART into San Francisco and have a lot of interesting experiences there and check out the fashion school and meet like minded people. For a 17 year old you sound like you have a good idea of how to make things happen and figure out what you want. Most including myself just stayed at home at 17 and kept doing the same old thing whinning about how boring life was in my small town. Personally, I don't enjoy San Jose but I am from southern CA and find it pretty boring here. But there are a lot of things going on around you like San Fran and Santa Cruz, try to go close to the colleges that’s where you will meet like minded people other wise San Jose is more for married people with kids and less social career types. Also don’t worry about how safe it is, just be smart in your surroundings there is not major danger here that I have noticed. Nothing so extreame that I would tell you not to go in that area. It can be very lonely though and tough since you won’t be in college to meet people your age, so as someone else mentioned try and get a job at a trendy coffee place or something like that to help you meet people. Don’t worry about it, kudos to you for making something happen in your life.
You'll do fine in San Jose and the South Bay area. Plenty of opportunities to meet people, great weather, music/art/recreation/outdoors, and getting a head start on selecting a university isn't a bad idea, either. You have Santa Cruz to the south and San Francisco to the north as well. Just getting a job at a coffee shop seems to be the effective means of getting to know young working people (and likely not getting laid off). Local hint: Sign up to work for Live Nation, and work different aspects of concert events around the Bay Area - lots of fun, free shows, very cool people, good experience.
Don't get down before you get out here.
One thing to keep in mind is whether you will have a car when you're out here. In San Jose it's an absolute necessity. There is some public transportation but it really helps to have something to drive around. You don't need anything fancy. If you don't have one already, I would just move out and get an old Honda or Toyota that is still in good shape.
As far as crime goes, San Jose is not dangerous. You can be safe if you are careful who you hang out with and take normal precautions... be aware of your surroundings at night etc.
Have you considered transferring to do the last year of high school instead of doing it online? It could be a great way to meet people there and make new friends. Are you worried that you would be older than your classmates once you get out there? You might also want to check with the local community colleges to see if they have a program where you could finish your degree while taking some community college courses. I know some HS seniors do this. I know the main CC's out there are Evergreen in San Jose, De Anza in Cupertino and West Valley College.
I moved to Chicago from a small town when I was only 19. It was a rough experience at times, but I would not trade that experience for anything in the world. Have you considered trying to live in San Francisco? I know your uncle doesn't live there, but if you want to get into fashion, that would be a great place to live. Even in high school, I am sure that are some HS in San Francisco that have a fashion program. At the very least you can finish HS in San Jose, then move up to SF when you graduate to go to fashion, design or art school.
Some people (young and old) find San Jose to be pretty boring, but there are a lot of things going on if you look around (especially if you have a car). Santa Cruz and San Francisco are pretty close, and there is plenty to do. The local independent paper has lots of listings of events going on. If you look at their website it might give you an idea of whether San Jose is right for you.
You can have what you want if you do your research, make good choices, trust the right people and have the courage to follow your dreams. Don't let anyone discourage you if it's what you really want. Good luck!
I am more concerned about your goals in life. This is not a cheap place to live. People who are happy here are usually people who are goal oriented and worked both hard and smart toward their goals.
People who are unambitious or are in low paying jobs/careers are often frustrated by the high cost of living here. Sure, the wages at Target are higher here than they are where you live, but they don't make up for the higher cost of living.
It's true that cost of living is high in California, but there are plenty of people who work at Target who are perfectly happy with their living situation. I'm not criticizing you at all, but there are lots of folks who still manage to rent a apartment and live within their budget. Some parts of the Bay Area are cheaper than others. Don't let this discourage you from moving out there. There are creative ways to make it work, and since the OP has the advantage of their uncle's condo, housing costs won't be a problem, at least for a while. It is something to consider if you stay there long term.
Well my big goals are to finish high school, go to college, and get into a career in fashion merchandising most likely. I'm basically looking for a fresh start in life and opportunites to meet new people.
I wouldn't really be living with my uncle like where he would take care of me and stuff i would just be renting a room in his condo. He's never really there i guess, he's always away on business.
I have no savings and i hear it's expensive to live out there but i think my family will help me with that until i'm older and can get really set up on my own. We're comfortable but not really rich so im not sure how realistic that really is for them to be able to pay for what i need there...
If things don't work out i'm sure my mom would be happy to have me come back to wisconsin at any time.
Thanks for your response, i really need advice right now!
any change in your decision?
i'm along the lines of you finishing highschool first and if you're still itching to move once highschool is completed, then research some colleges in the area and move. really, you'd be in the same boat as a majority of college bound students at this point: you're far away from home, you don't know anybody, and the 'rents are taking care of the rent
if it financially makes sense (noting that you feel your parents *should* be able to handle it), definitely do it. also, you can go the community college route for a year or two and then transfer to a bigger school; this is a good move to save some money in the beginning of your transition to another state. also, you can alleviate some financial burden by picking up a part time job if you want.
i'm all about breaking out of the complacency. however, it looks like you need to do a little more research (schools, financial breakdowns, etc) before you jump into it. don't move for the sake of moving especially in these times.
Good grief . Another teenager who thinks moving to California will fix everything .
You know, there was no need to be rude -- this kid seems to truly be seeking advice. We don't know what the family situation is, the home situation, the school situation...no need to be so discouraging to someone sincerely requesting suggestions and information.
Oh haha it's so funny. You making fun of me is not helping me make any decison it's just wasting my time. And no i don't want to imagine the hot babes because i'm a girl and i knew it wouldn't be like that anyways. Maybe you didn't read my post carefully enough but i said i wanted to start over and have fresh opportunities. I never said anything about going there fixing everything. So if anyone wants to give me some real advice i would appreciate it. And thank you to those of you who did give me real advice.
Good for you for standing up to such rudeness...I just said as much to that poster.
They say that at the end of our lives, we don't so much regret the things we did as much as what we did NOT do. That being said, I would encourage you this way: (1) if your home situation is tolerable until you are 18, I would encourage you to stay there till then. I would encourage you to try to work at least part-time while you finish your high school education on-line right there (sounds like you may have had problems with other kids in school, or something like that maybe?)...Then, at 18, with hopefully a little money saved up, THEN go out there and rent the room from your uncle. Get your "toes wet" there while you again seek a part-time job and maybe go to community college to get your basics out of the way. Then slowly go forward -- you are to be commended for being so brave to even think about striking out on your own at 17.
It's very difficult to do at that age, but try your best to plan a little.
On the other hand, (2) if it is simply intolerable to stay where you are right now, and you know that your family can help you with food and basic needs as well as the rent of your room, go out there and try it. You will need either a bike or a car, depending on how far from your uncle's home you want to go to work, etc., and you should plan on getting involved in a church, or some other kind of organization that will give you a hopefully safe circle of new friends. Be sure you have a return ticket to your home, or a sure way to get back if you need to, and if that happens, don't feel that you "failed", but think of it that it's something you tried and it wasn't right for you at that moment.
Stay safe - the number one thing you must do -- and then, good luck!
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