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Say, I've been hashing out concerns on the Miami site (just in case this whole relocation effort takes a turn south literally) and I'm hearing pretty strongly that it's unrealistic to expect affordable housing for a family of 5. I don't think I'm asking the world... just what every city in America has (well, almost every city) and that's a home that can give my 3 kids their own bedrooms, some more space than I've been dealing with and a decent yard for everyone to do what they want around the place (ie: pool to swim in, yard for a dog, maybe a workshop/ shed in the back, couple hundred sq feet of vegetable garden space.... but like I said, they tell me I'm crazy for thinking I can get all that without making 150K a year. Then add on the expectation for the best education and I've really been laughed at.
So I've done my homework on Sarasota for some time, as many of you know, and I have found multiple ways to make this work south of Tampa but I just wonder.... why do so many people think this is too much to expect in Florida? It's really nothing lavish.... and I've even been accused of some pretty terrible things, even going so far as calling me a scary parent!
Please share your thoughts about reasonable expectations in Florida. Personally... I think what I've just experienced tells me that Miami doesn't have a clue what the rest of the country is like but maybe I'm wrong. Am I just spoiled for living in the midwest????
Sorry to hear of your troubles, but it just seems like the time is not right for whatever reason. You can move mountains, but if it's not in your maker's plan for you there's nothing you can do. Maybe you should settle down there for a bit longer, take your mind off the whole FL thing and try in the next 1 or 2 years when the economy gets better.
It seems like when you eventually get down to FL, it's not going to be all you expected. I've seen this scenario play out many times. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. At the moment anyway.
Say, I've been hashing out concerns on the Miami site (just in case this whole relocation effort takes a turn south literally) and I'm hearing pretty strongly that it's unrealistic to expect affordable housing for a family of 5. I don't think I'm asking the world... just what every city in America has (well, almost every city) and that's a home that can give my 3 kids their own bedrooms, some more space than I've been dealing with and a decent yard for everyone to do what they want around the place (ie: pool to swim in, yard for a dog, maybe a workshop/ shed in the back, couple hundred sq feet of vegetable garden space.... but like I said, they tell me I'm crazy for thinking I can get all that without making 150K a year. Then add on the expectation for the best education and I've really been laughed at.
So I've done my homework on Sarasota for some time, as many of you know, and I have found multiple ways to make this work south of Tampa but I just wonder.... why do so many people think this is too much to expect in Florida? It's really nothing lavish.... and I've even been accused of some pretty terrible things, even going so far as calling me a scary parent!
Please share your thoughts about reasonable expectations in Florida. Personally... I think what I've just experienced tells me that Miami doesn't have a clue what the rest of the country is like but maybe I'm wrong. Am I just spoiled for living in the midwest????
I don't believe you can get what you want in the Miami area - it will be expensive to live in the nice areas, and you probably won't want to live in the areas you could afford. If you really don't want to move to Miami, I would not even consider this as a stop-gap, just stay where you are for awhile.
As a poster above suggested, maybe now is just not the right time to make your move, just be patient, if it's meant to be it will be. That said, there are places where you can get what you want in a home over here (Sarsota area), but there will probably be some compromises, as there often is.
Good luck, hang in there - my Dad always used to tell us "Just do your part, and let it ride!"
Zara- just came across this blog - It read like good novel ! Figured I would add another opinion.
I live in Delray Beach, FL and travel to Miami on business. Do yourself a favor and do not even consider the South East coat of Florida. It is light years difference from Sarasota. Don't get me wrong, Miami is a beautiful city, but not a place I would even consider relocating a family even temporarly. I have been to may cities in South Florida and if I had to chose one to relocate to from out of state Sarasota would top my list so you are on the right track. If I were you, I would sit tight for now. The economy is starting to turn down here and everyday the job market is improving. I would say in another year things will be much different. Also, it is very difficult to secure a job down here while you are out of state unless it is an extremely difficult position to fill, especially now. Your best bet may be to save as much cash as you can to tide you over once you make the move and start applying when you are down here. I know that's risky but you can always find something too pay the bills while you are looking.
I'm still plugging away on my APICS certificate - I thought I would have been done by now. It's quite a bit of information but I should be done by the end of the month and ready to test.
As for the house, still some showings popping up here and there but we've received word that everyone whose come through has ruled us out. My neighborhood is being hit hard with short sales now and some foreclosures. Prices for those homes are significantly less than my asking price and a few are being snatched up.
All job openings that I've applied to have dried up except that management position in Miami. I've been chasing it but secretly am not excited about it anymore. If it falls through, I might not look at our Miami site anymore as a solution. I've had it with drama and emotional rollercoasters.
Finally, my wife and I have discussed potential decisions based on the timing of things. We've considered pulling off the market by June if we do not sell and we've considered calling it quits for a while on this effort by the end of August if both the house and the job do not come through by then. Worst case scenario, if the house sells before August and we are in an apartment in MN with no job in FL, then I might push hard to leave. My wife is leaning toward the safe side of saying that we need to get back in a home and not move until the job is in place, in which case that may result buying again in MN before the school season starts.
She's tired of this 'wait' and she does not want to start another school year with the risk of disrupting the kids. She's asked that I consider applying to a much larger range of places than where I've zero'ed in on. She is willing to consider other parts of Florida and perhaps even other states. I think it's just her frustration talking but this strikes against my experience in prayer since I felt called to Sarasota. So now I'm sitting here feeling cloudy over direction and not hearing anything from God. My wife and I commited ourselves to a Daniel Fast last fall and heard nothing about our move in the experience. It did a lot of great things for us in other areas of our life but felt silent on this one specific need. So I'm very confused about the silence.... I've recently asked God to talk to me through my wife and this is what she came out with wanting to do so I'm trusting it's his will too. She's very scared that putting a timeframe on this effort is going against faith in God's timing. I assured her I don't see her request as defying God but rather just wanting a goal in sight and that I'm sure he understands that.
I wish I just heard more clearly from God on this though. I've never had this hard of a time in prayer before with ANYTHING.
My wife wants to get our personal belongings out of boxes, pictures on the walls, and start living in our home again. She doesn't get excited anymore when there are calls to see the house and acts like 'why bother, they won't buy it anyway.' We get the place so clean each time that it's probably qualified as a class 10,000 cleanroom!!! That's a lot of work just to be turned down. She had our call center flag our account with the request that realtors bring serious buyers only... no comp's. I want this 'wait' to be done too. I want to go back to school and also see her go chase her Physician Assistant dreams. She could have been done with her classes by now if she knew we'd be here this long. I need this relocation effort to come to a close because it has now become an uncontrollable cause of additional stress in my wife's life. I am strong enough to continue like this but she is not.
I find that I am blaming myself more and more for not having this matter closed. I know that isn't fair to myself but I am feeling critical. I've cut my asking price down to a scary point. I haven't come through on my certification as fast as I said I would. If we end up stuck up here again, for a few more years...I will have a hard time getting over it. I can't watch my wife suffer more by living like this over and over again year after year.
I have agreed to her request to pull our house off the market by June but I will probably secretly keep applying to jobs in Sarasota every day until I get one. So I have 4 and a half months guys.
ZZB - the problem as I see it is that you (and your wife) have not TRULY surrendered this to God. It is human nature to want to put a time frame on things, but here is my simple advice to you:
Live as though you are going to be moving soon (by your date). This just means, clean out, get rid of things, do everything (within reason) that you would be doing if you are going to be moving. And relax, don't keep saying the same prayer everyday - do it ONCE and believe in it. And lastly, try to keep your heart and soul open for those "true" omens that nudge you how to proceed. I myself have a great intuition and when I really follow my gut and don't "force" things, they work out, sometimes it's not even what I thought I wanted, but it would turn out far BETTER than what I originally wanted. Also, the time I moved (with first husband) against my better judment, without selling our home or having jobs in a new area was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. And in recent years, I made a similar mistake by forcing something that probably I should not have done.
I hope this helps you a little. I know it's hard when you are not happy, but if you really have the faith as you seem to have, it is important to truly surrender this issue. Please don't force anything, or accept anything you do not feel good about.
Also, did you see my post here about new jobs coming? This was in our paper the other day:
I need this relocation effort to come to a close because it has now become an uncontrollable cause of additional stress in my wife's life. I am strong enough to continue like this but she is not.
If we end up stuck up here again, for a few more years...I will have a hard time getting over it. I can't watch my wife suffer more by living like this over and over again year after year.
Umm...are you and your wife homeless? Do you go to bed starving every night? Is your house filled with filth, vermin and mold causing sickness?
You and your wife WANT to move, not NEED to move. What happened to believing that GOD provides exactly what we NEED and not necessarily what we WANT?
By your own admission this is what you want: "I'm just a middle class guy wanting to move up in this society"
Get a grip...start counting your blessings where, what and how you are right now.
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Philippians 4:6
And remember this old saying, "No matter where you go...there you are."
Last edited by Col.W.Deering; 02-15-2010 at 01:44 PM..
Boy do I ever feel your pain. We are also in prayer about where God wants us to be. My prayer is that my husband and I will be unified in the decision. We did not put our home on the market yet until we know my husband has been approved for a transfer to somewhere. I get very excited about a select few places and then disappointed when there are no openings. My husband is not a mover. He lived in one home for most of his childhood and finds it difficult to move. I have seasonal affective disorder so I really need to go south. Was it your post I read that your wife has it too or am I thinking of another post? I am nervous about going through what you are dealing with, having the house on the market and trying to keep it perfect for showing. For our area, our home is in alittle higher price range, but quite low for Sarasota area. I study the areas so much too. We are looking into Texas and Florida because those are the states that are south enough for my SAD to feel the best. It is amazing how much better I feel down south. My husband and I both love Sarasota but my one hesitation is the cost of housing. We live in a very inexpensive part of Wisconsin. We have been looking into this move for years and I think my husband is at the place where we will actually move, hopefully this year before another fall and winter.
I will pray for God's will in your life. He has the perfect timing in place for you and He will bless your prayers and fasting. As the song goes "In His Time"
we are moving from NJ to englewood. everytime we were there we would leave saying " i wish we could live here full time and things like i cant wait to live here". well the short story is i got hurt at work, spent a year in pain then finally got surgery for the injury and 4 days after surgery i get a call that my postion has been eliminated after 22 years with the same company, same job. so i guess in theory be careful what you wish for. we have no choice to sell up here and move to our house down there. but as someone else said it could be worse. we have a nice house down there in a great location to go to. we will figure out a business or job when we get there. one thing is certain we cant stay here cause we cant afford it with the job loss. my wife prays enough for the both of us so it will work out.
I agree that you need to understand your "wants" (or needs), and keep them separate from your "desires", as long as your needs are met, which they are, you can continue to look to satisfy your desires, and you can be patient. Because your desires are not being filled immediately, does not that they won't be filled as you continue your life.
Don't give up on your dream, but modify your outlook a bit, so you can gain enjoyment from the things you have as you continue to journey through life. After all that is what life is about. Its OK, to not get things right when you want them - you can't always control the timing of things. But, don't give up, don't stop planning, preparing, and dreaming, because if you do, that's when the opportunities pass you by.
I spent a year looking for the house I wanted down here, and I had the time, the money, everything - I came down here ever month for a year, had offer after offer after offer rejected for reasons, that weren't my fault, or even the sellers - I actually tried to offer more than what they could get the property appraised out at - talk about frustrating! I was ready to give up, and put it off for months, but then - things worked out. You never know - but if it is important - don't give up, get sad and depressed - continue to enjoy life with your family and kids, and stay ready for the right time. It will eventually happen for you.
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