How to approach white men in Seattle? (co-op, how much)

[Ancalagon]

If you want a more aggressive, less geeky* crowd try going to some local rock shows. Fuel, the J&M, the Central just to name some Pioneer Square venues all book live music. You could hit all them up in one night paying only one cover (it's a Pioneer Square deal) and see what you think. El Corazon, Showbox (both SODO and the Market), Neumos and Paramount off the top of my head are also good starting points.


*in reality they just hide it better. This is still Seattle. Hiding inside most of the leather and tattoo exteriors hides a person that's been trying to get 3263827 as their cell phone number for years.

[SitoUK]

Originally Posted by Ancalagon

*in reality they just hide it better. This is still Seattle. Hiding inside most of the leather and tattoo exteriors hides a person that's been trying to get 3263827 as their cell phone number for years.

Very good! Ok, I had to google this...which has to be good sign!

[Le-Le]

Thanks! I'll hv to chkout pioneer square! Did u just put your ph number on that post???

[Ira500]

Originally Posted by Le-Le

Thanks! I'll hv to chkout pioneer square! Did u just put your ph number on that post???

What they were trying to say was that the nerd is still there despite the leather and tattoos. The phone number was Princess Leia's from Star Wars.

[Ancalagon]

Originally Posted by Ira500

What they were trying to say was that the nerd is still there despite the leather and tattoos. The phone number was Princess Leia's from Star Wars.

You are correct on the intent.

Close on the number. It's the garbage compactor Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie have to jump into in Star Wars.

I don't think the Princess had a cell phone.

[Ancalagon]

Originally Posted by Le-Le

Thanks! I'll hv to chkout pioneer square! Did u just put your ph number on that post???

LOL, nope, sorry married.

[hamellr]

As a white guy, who has dated quite a few African American ladies, I can give you a small bit of insight.

You're going to be fighting the negative stereotypes of the West Coast Gangster mentality that has so penetrated culture in Seattle (and the entire West Coast,) that even now white people automatically think "black guy=gang member," and "black girl=high school drop out due to teenage pregnancy." Even though most white people have never been within a hundred feet of a real gang member.

If you want to attract White Guys in Seattle, you need to break that stereotype. Dress nicely, no jeans (no matter how expensive,) or leather jackets at all. Sit in a coffee shop reading a book, bonus points for either classical literature, or something in the hard sciences. Speak eloquently and don't use much slang, even around your girl friends. Drive a decent car, but nothing too flashy. Don't overtly listen to rap, and if you do, DON'T SING OUT LOUD to it! Wear minimal amounts of jewelry, and if you do wear a lot, stay away from gold and diamonds.

You do all that, and you'll be beating White guys off with a stick. If I was in Seattle, I'd even offer to meet up with you and take you out to coffee. Good luck in your search!

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by Tiger Beer

You have to keep in mind that most northern liberal caucasian guys have been influenced by feminist beliefs, that they try to respect.

Meaning, it's a fine line for a caucasian guy between asking someone out and it being perceived as sexual harrassment. At least that's the way I always felt when I was a more sensitive young caucasian man with lots of liberal ideals. Dating such women always seemed like a total minefield of potential mis-steps.

I'll second that. I went to jr. high in the Seattle area, and I recall feeling like if I asked a girl out, or told her I thought she had pretty eyes or hair or that I liked her shoes, she'd start crying and go home to cut herself and come back to school dressed like a bum because she was sick of being objectified (seriously).

Totally different world when I moved to Boston.

My guess is that if you see a guy you like, show a little interest. He might be a bit awkward if he's super passive. But, he'll probably be secretly quite pleased to know he has a green light. As opposed to that typical blinking yellow 'proceed with caution' we get from our female caucasian counterparts.

It's interesting seeing the Seattle forum and seeing AA searching out caucasian guys. Back when I was on the dating scene, it seemed a bit difficult to meet AA women, although I was always attracted. Very attractive!

Same here. I always had a thing for AA women, perhaps because I was part of that reverse-bussing program that SPD did back in the early 90's, where they bussed kids from North Seattle down to South Seattle.

But, to the OP, I wouldn't necessarily fret over it being because you're African American (I'm assuming that's what you mean?); my friend/former roommate up there was Asian-American, and complained that she rarely got approached when she went out - she approached her current BF, and he expressed similar sentiments... that he didn't want to seem "pushy" or "sleazy."

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by hamellr

As a white guy, who has dated quite a few African American ladies, I can give you a small bit of insight.

You're going to be fighting the negative stereotypes of the West Coast Gangster mentality that has so penetrated culture in Seattle (and the entire West Coast,) that even now white people automatically think "black guy=gang member," and "black girl=high school drop out due to teenage pregnancy." Even though most white people have never been within a hundred feet of a real gang member.

... on the West Coast?? Maybe in Prosser, WA or something like that... circa 1990... nowadays? No. I don't think so at all.

If you want to attract White Guys in Seattle, you need to break that stereotype. Dress nicely, no jeans (no matter how expensive,) or leather jackets at all. Sit in a coffee shop reading a book, bonus points for either classical literature, or something in the hard sciences. Speak eloquently and don't use much slang, even around your girl friends. Drive a decent car, but nothing too flashy. Don't overtly listen to rap, and if you do, DON'T SING OUT LOUD to it! Wear minimal amounts of jewelry, and if you do wear a lot, stay away from gold and diamonds.

I think the above advice goes for any woman looking to pick up on a dude in Seattle. Dispose with the bling or anything ostenacious, put on your glasses, and read Descartes on your Kindle!

[Woof]

Hard sciences? Descartes? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think she was talking about picking up a hardcore nerd.

I'd say to go with a friend to do something you enjoy doing, whether it be hanging out at a tavern or pub or coffeehouse ..... or maybe attend some art classes if that's what you like .... maybe join some kind of outdoorsy or sports club, soccer in a park or whatever. Church choir? What are your hobbies or favorite activities, Le-Le?