Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (environment, travel)

[DestinationSeattle]

Originally Posted by cobolt

I can tell you from my own experience and that of other relocatees, that they have reached out to their neighbors, coworkers etc, without much luck. They throw parties, bbqs, etc but the neighbors don't reciprocate. And it isn't even about "I throw a shindig so now it's your turn." It's more about you having to initiate just about all the contact and get togethers. Neighbors wave to you when they see you, but that's it.

Why is this a problem? I don't get it. Just because someone waves at you, it doesn't automatically mean they want to hang out at your backyard BBQ. They're just being polite, and beyond that, they probably just want to be left alone.

It's not necessarily rudeness or cliquish. It's just that not everyone is a social butterfly.

It sounds more and more to me like the PNW isn't the best place for extroverted people who want to mingle, throw parties, and such. Which suits me just fine ...

[Katiana]

If they come to your parties, they should be willing to have one now and then, or initiate something.

[MadisonSeattle]

I stay in Seattle only for my job as well. It's very hard to explain the personality of the Seattlite. A lot of arrogance, but I never understand why. This arrogance could be from someone with no money or education, but it's still there. I have been here 15 years and have friends with plenty of finances that hate to travel out of Washington because there isn't a better place on earth to them. Be prepared if you plan to move here. It's very different. However, I appreciate the job opportunities in Seattle. No place is perfect.

[_Charles_]

A lot of arrogance, but I never understand why.

They think they're intelligent - they're really just blindly opinionated.

They think they're interesting - they've never accomplished much of anything.

They think they're social - they're part of a clique.

They think they're nice - they overlook and or excuse their own rudeness.

[41Willys]

Huh! Sounds very much like L.I. New York.

[goldengrain]

Originally Posted by pittnurse70

If they come to your parties, they should be willing to have one now and then, or initiate something.

I hate throwing shindigs for people. I dislike crowds, particularly those that I cannot escape from.

I dislike being invited to the parties of others, because I do not want to go, so the position they are putting me in is: should I be rude now and refuse their invitation, or should I be rude later when I do not reciprocate?

I like going out to the theater and dinner with others, to discussion groups, lectures, etc. Because I know I will always end up alone at home pretty soon. I like informal social situations in which there is never an expectation of reciprocating.

In a city, people are able to meet informally with no preparation or expectation. There are enough places to meet and people live relatively close to each other. In the country people may travel distances to see each other and there probably must be more preparation/imposition for visits. At least, I think this may be where the cultural differences arise.

[pwright1]

Originally Posted by MadisonSeattle

I stay in Seattle only for my job as well. It's very hard to explain the personality of the Seattlite. A lot of arrogance, but I never understand why. This arrogance could be from someone with no money or education, but it's still there. I have been here 15 years and have friends with plenty of finances that hate to travel out of Washington because there isn't a better place on earth to them. Be prepared if you plan to move here. It's very different. However, I appreciate the job opportunities in Seattle. No place is perfect.

I find Seattle people so down to earth compared to cities I lived in. From the people I've met most are not arrogant whether rich or poor or somewhere in the middle. Just for an example I met a couple in my old Mount Baker neighborhood. I use to see them just walking down the street and we would say hello. I ran into them again and invited them over for a cookout I was having. They came over with a bottle of wine which was nice. About a week later I saw the husband in the Seattle Times business section of the paper. I had no idea he was a ceo of a software company. Weeks later they invited me over to their place for the Seafair hydroplane races. I went over and had no idea they lived in this beautiful 1920's $2million lakeview home. Now I'm there every year for the races. They are the most down to earth people I know.

[jwb123]

It's weird Pwright, that you have the totally opposite experience in Seattle than anyone else... good for you though!

[Dweeby]

Originally Posted by codewarrior2007

I feel bad that I kept anyone up at night, but it seems like if there is a noise problem, you confront the person making the noise while they are making it, and not just passively tolerate it. Is my neighbor just so averted to confronting me about it? Is this an instance of the Seattle Freeze?

I think it's an example of passive-aggression, which is a corollary of the Seattle Freeze. I had a similar experience at more than one Seattle workplace, where co-workers wouldn't tell me to my face what I was doing wrong (in their eyes) but would go to my supervisor directly. I even directly and politely asked them for feedback and they continued to anonymously go to my boss. I never had this experience in the many places I lived and worked before Seattle.

[joplinlb]

It is probably because Pwright is nice and personable and not negative about where she (or he?) is in her/his life.

We lived in Seattle for a couple of years and vacation there every year to see our friends. We have many down-to-earth friends that we met while living there and feel that they are life-long friendships. My husband and I have always felt that the people in Seattle are friendly and genuine - at least the ones that we met. Remember, most of the people that you meet there are not originally from Seattle.

It is great to hear the positive from Pwright.