Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by Jennibc

We have friends that moved from the Northeast to San Antonio in middle age and have a huge network of friends because of meetup. They don't have kids either. They belong to a dog meet-up, environmental meetup, green energy meetup, and I think a beer appreciation meetup. At any rate it has been hugely successful for them. I think it has to do with how active each particular meetup is and if you are meeting other people that feel passionately about the same things, that's where real friendships can develop.

I joined a singles group on meetup and the age range is suppose to be from 25 to 45. I figured "I'm only 23, but not that much young. I'll give it a shot." To say the least, I wasn't too thrilled. Most of the people in the group were at least in their mid-30s and older. It isn't that I mind being the youngest one in the group, but I often felt like I was being ambushed alot. Everyone else had things they could talk about to one another and I was the one who had to find a way to jump in. Everytime I wanted to say something, someone else would say something. It was like I had nothing in common with anyone. At the end of the night, I was kind of dissapointed. One of the group members told me that I might have come off as a "pervert" of sorts to some of the members because of my age. He told me that some of the women might think that I was just out for you know what. It was te furthest thing from my mind, but when I thought about it, I got kind of upset. I started to think "that is why some of the people in the group seem to avoid me. I am the youngest." Today I got out of the group because it wasn't working for me. I actually have a complicated history. I took a year off from school because of medical problems. Going back to school had its difficulties and I got tired of sitting at home on Friday night alone, so I tried meetup. I am going to try other stuff instead.

[Jennibc]

Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte

I joined a singles group on meetup and the age range is suppose to be from 25 to 45. I figured "I'm only 23, but not that much young. I'll give it a shot." To say the least, I wasn't too thrilled. Most of the people in the group were at least in their mid-30s and older. It isn't that I mind being the youngest one in the group, but I often felt like I was being ambushed alot. Everyone else had things they could talk about to one another and I was the one who had to find a way to jump in. Everytime I wanted to say something, someone else would say something. It was like I had nothing in common with anyone. At the end of the night, I was kind of dissapointed. One of the group members told me that I might have come off as a "pervert" of sorts to some of the members because of my age. He told me that some of the women might think that I was just out for you know what. It was te furthest thing from my mind, but when I thought about it, I got kind of upset. I started to think "that is why some of the people in the group seem to avoid me. I am the youngest." Today I got out of the group because it wasn't working for me. I actually have a complicated history. I took a year off from school because of medical problems. Going back to school had its difficulties and I got tired of sitting at home on Friday night alone, so I tried meetup. I am going to try other stuff instead.

Something like a singles group is too broad, if you use meetup for a common interest then you are more likely to find kindred spirits and then make some friends that way.

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by Jennibc

Something like a singles group is too broad, if you use meetup for a common interest then you are more likely to find kindred spirits and then make some friends that way.

I didn't know what to say to this. The singles group I was in was just for people in their mid 20's to mid 40's looking to meet new people as single persons. It was mainly divorced persons and/or widowed persons. I was the youngest person their(age 23). I figured there would be more people close to my age in the group. There wasn't. It was my, then the next age up was 28. After that it was mainly women and a few men in their 30's and 40's. I got the feeling I wasn't totally welcomed. After that night I left the singles group completely and got rid of my meetup profile. I figured if I was going to have another night like that, forget it. I have recently joined a Japanese pop culture club in my university. I have met one kindred spirit there. I have had alot of issues meeting people. I get sick of spending Friday or Saturday night with Ben and Jerry's/TV. That is part of why I want to meet new people. My own story is that last year I broke my spine and spent 9 months out of school. I can still walk and I have made a decent recovery. When I returned to school, alot of my old friends got married, graduated, moved away, forgot about me, and it pretty much left me kind of lonely. On top of that, a new graduating class, and much younger. Things changed. Alot of people I knew and loved went away. During the Summer 2009 semester, I was trying to recover most of what I lost. After alot of crap I went through in 2008(much of it is private), I am pretty much trying to start over. That was part of why I joined meetup. That was part of why I believe meetup doesn't work.

[JesseJB]

Here's a good singles meetup for 20-somethings: the bar.

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by JesseJB

Here's a good singles meetup for 20-somethings: the bar.

I have tried bars. I have tried clubs. They haven't worked for me. Bars are mainly meant for people who go with their friends. I usually go to bars alone, and I am not big on drinking all night. Most of the bars I have seen are full of cigarette smoke and I usually go home miserable, and smelling like tobacco. Bars only work for certain kinds of people. Yes, I am in my 20's, but I am not what some people would call a typical 20 something.

[pirate_lafitte]

On another note about the "Seattle Freeze". I was at Borders this afternoon. I meet two people from the state of Washington. I was trying to get a connection on the wireless. One of the persons happened to be in the IT business. He helped me get my computer settled. He found that my screen background was of the Seattle skyline(before 2000 when my beloved Kingdome was imploded and never seen again.). We talked about Seattle and Boeing. We both were able to talk about Seattle and how it is home to some and for others it sometimes doesn't work for them. We got to the subject of rain. I wasn't frozen out by him or his wife. Sure, some people are shy. I can be very shy myself. Some people are very "clannish". It is nothing I haven't seen living in the South. Just a bit different. As for this couple, they were very helpful to me. On the other hand, there is a student in my class who is from Seattle. She has a very standoffish attitude towards me, and so does her friend. One would think that I lived in the Seattle area and so did she, we would bond more. It didn't work that way. She bonded more with a girl she went to high school with, who is from Georgia via Chicago. They both sit together, talk together. I worked on a class project with them and often, they would chat with one another so much that I would just walk away and talk to myself, mainly out of anger and loneliness and feeling out of place. After a while, I quit worrying about it. After this class is over, I might not see her again. I have met other people from Seattle and bonded with them much better, and that is something I will remember very well.

[frostyrides]

Dear God... this thread never ends.

If you read completely through it, it repeats itself 28 times, and one of the world's greatest mysteries is revealed. Some people are passive aggressive, some are not. That's all there is to it.

[Jennibc]

Originally Posted by frostyrides

dear god... This thread never ends.

If you read completely through it, it repeats itself 28 times, and one of the world's greatest mysteries is revealed. Some people are passive aggressive, some are not. That's all there is to it.

lol!

[emopoops]

what a boring thread. the whole seattle freeze thing makes no sense. i mean common sense. noone even explains it

[swerver]

The freeze is in your minds people!!! So some girl in your class isn't instantly enamored with you just because you are from the same area, it won't be the last time some girl you like ignores you and it happens all over the world, not just in Seattle. Live and let live. Or, more harshly, get over it.