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1) Many of the people who move here from elsewhere for a job are very career driven Type A personalities. Often they work for the big tech companies and put in long hours and are concerned with climbing the corporate ladder. Even though they say that they want to get together and hang out, work and the process of settling into a new area gets in the way. Basically, for a lot of them, work comes first, and their social life revolves around getting together with others from their company to talk shop.
2) People who are Type A like to schedule things and aren't known for being very spontaneous. Factor in the tech culture (stereotypically introverted, nerdy, sometimes low on what non-quantitative people consider social graces) and the high demands of many of the companies here and it isn't exactly a recipe for casual socializing over lunch, drinks, what-have-you.
3) Many people here do want to make friends and have a group to hang out with. The problem is that you meet someone, hit it off, say that you will hang out, but neither of you has more friends to introduce the other person to. No one has a group for you to join. It is a very stark contrast to Washington DC (where I moved here from) where in order to make friends you just went out and talked to one or two people and the next thing you knew, you had a social life. People joined tons of networking groups, contacted their alumni association, or volunteered somewhere, and over the course of the evening people would break off in clumps and go up the street to a bar. At the end of the evening you just exchanged phone numbers and stayed in touch.
I don't think that the Seattle Freeze is a freeze exactly. It isn't something that is particular to this area or done on purpose. It is simply the effect of so many people coming here from elsewhere to work long hours and make money. The west coast in general has a reputation of being more laid back than the east coast and having a better quality of life. That is the stereotype anyway, but I don't think it is necessarily true. We have laid back people back east (again, they tend to be the natives) and there are some super stressed out people out here. It isn't the coasts, it is the people who relocate to them. I think where people get thrown off with Seattle is that they come here thinking it will be more laid back than other places, a nice mountain town with city amenities, etc., then they choose the same lifestyle that they had elsewhere and history repeats itself.
Valid points, but at the same time, people in Seattle and Portland will say that other major coastal metropolitan areas like LA, NYC, Boston are too "type A" for them, and my experience from having lived in all three of these cities is that people are indeed more aggressive and type-A on the whole. My interpretation as someone who spent most of his youth in Boston and then moved to LA at 18 was that Seattle was actually the most type-B city I've ever lived in. Seattle aggrssion is passive, whereas LA aggression is in-your-face. Why aren't these social issues deemed more prevalant in these cities when so many "type-A" personalities move there to be in the law or business sectors? Most of the arguments I hear in favor of Seattle on the "freeze" argument seem to err more on the side of "too many type-B techies" with a side of "Scandanavian/Japanese social reservation," the latter of which is BS, and the former... well... why isn't there a Silicon Valley Freeze?
Is it because the fun, festive geeks go work for Google and Apple, and the quiet, introverted ones go work for Microsoft and Amazon
Valid points, but at the same time, people in Seattle and Portland will say that other major coastal metropolitan areas like LA, NYC, Boston are too "type A" for them, and my experience from having lived in all three of these cities is that people are indeed more aggressive and type-A on the whole. My interpretation as someone who spent most of his youth in Boston and then moved to LA at 18 was that Seattle was actually the most type-B city I've ever lived in. Seattle aggrssion is passive, whereas LA aggression is in-your-face. Why aren't these social issues deemed more prevalant in these cities when so many "type-A" personalities move there to be in the law or business sectors? Most of the arguments I hear in favor of Seattle on the "freeze" argument seem to err more on the side of "too many type-B techies" with a side of "Scandanavian/Japanese social reservation," the latter of which is BS, and the former... well... why isn't there a Silicon Valley Freeze?
Is it because the fun, festive geeks go work for Google and Apple, and the quiet, introverted ones go work for Microsoft and Amazon
Couple o' points...I've lived in several high tech locales on both coasts, and IMO the techies in WA aren't much different than the ones elsewhere. LA and NYC are entirely different cities than medium sized Seattle; it's natural those places would draw more Type A personalities based on the industries they support. You just don't see the Type A's in WA, and believe me, they are here...usually because they are off on a snowboard or dangling from a rock or riding a bike to another state.
I'm from the east coast, also lived in New York at one point, and know a number of people who have lived in Boston. There are large industries on the east coast (publishing, public relations and communications, law) that are extremely verbal cultures and rely heavily on social networking. The power lunch is still alive and well back east and DC has the largest number of lawyers per capita of any place in America. I've never been to Los Angeles, but my guess is that with the entertainment industry, there are a lot of verbal people down there as well. Type A? Sure! But social as well.
There are verbal people in Seattle, but the dominant industry here isn't filled with them. And yeah, the Type A people here are definitely sports enthusiasts. Only Type A introverts enjoy solitary 100 mile bike rides as opposed to playing a team sport purely for recreation.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rosie74
Well, getting back to the Seattle Freeze:
...
It is possible to make friends here and have a social life, but you have to work at it. It will take more time than in many other cities though. Join stuff, go out, and eventually you will find a niche. If it still isn't working, it may simply be that the area isn't a good fit for you.
Yeah, give it some time Rosie. One of my kids was captivated with living in Seattle. 6 yrs later 'it' (the way of 'bustle' life) is getting old.
For some it will work OK, and I'm sure there are plenty of good, deep friendships.
I sure wouldn't want to be suffering a debilitating disease leading to death and hope my good Seattle neighbors would be dropping food off nightly for my family. Maybe when the smell got really bad (on hot august days) they might call the cops to look in on me.
Now in Minneapolis (and many Other opolis') there would be a steady flow of 'hot-dish-dinners' till the porch would be jammed full of goodies and the family very 'plump'. Snow would be removed from walks and driveway every morning, kids delivered to school, car warmed up for wife, free rides to clinics, free elder-sitting for the infirmed, carolers at the door, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, and a nice community potluck for the memorial service (ALL without asking)...
Yeah, give it some time Rosie. One of my kids was captivated with living in Seattle. 6 yrs later 'it' (the way of 'bustle' life) is getting old.
For some it will work OK, and I'm sure there are plenty of good, deep friendships.
I sure wouldn't want to be suffering a debilitating disease leading to death and hope my good Seattle neighbors would be dropping food off nightly for my family. Maybe when the smell got really bad (on hot august days) they might call the cops to look in on me.
Now in Minneapolis (and many Other opolis') there would be a steady flow of 'hot-dish-dinners' till the porch would be jammed full of goodies and the family very 'plump'. Snow would be removed from walks and driveway every morning, kids delivered to school, car warmed up for wife, free rides to clinics, free elder-sitting for the infirmed, carolers at the door, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, and a nice community potluck for the memorial service (ALL without asking)...
What part of Minneapolis is that? Cause I lived in Edina for a while, and that was about the last thing I'd expect to have seen from the neighbors.
I'm from the east coast, also lived in New York at one point, and know a number of people who have lived in Boston. There are large industries on the east coast (publishing, public relations and communications, law) that are extremely verbal cultures and rely heavily on social networking. The power lunch is still alive and well back east and DC has the largest number of lawyers per capita of any place in America. I've never been to Los Angeles, but my guess is that with the entertainment industry, there are a lot of verbal people down there as well. Type A? Sure! But social as well.
There are verbal people in Seattle, but the dominant industry here isn't filled with them. And yeah, the Type A people here are definitely sports enthusiasts. Only Type A introverts enjoy solitary 100 mile bike rides as opposed to playing a team sport purely for recreation.
I don't know anyone who rides solo. Long distance bikers I know travel in packs.
Not trying to beat you up here, but I don't think that the rude reception you received at that meetup is indicative of the Seattle Freeze. The meetup had specific parameters. The people attending that event wanted to meet singles a with specific characteristic-- in this case, an age range-- and you did not have that charactertistic.
Meetup is not a free service, as others mentioned here, there is a monthly charge. The organizers of a particular meetup group generally pay that charge because they're looking for a specific group of friends. There's always the option of starting your own meetup group and then you have the option to widen or narrow your parameters of membership as you see fit.
Again, this wasn't intended to bash you. Best of luck!
Actually, the parameters were rather loose. The group said it was "intended" for those between 25-45, but they would not turn down anyone who was slightly younger or older, in short, a 23 year-old was allowed to join. I may have not had the characteristic, but if they didn't want someone who was under 25, they should have said, "anyone under 25 not permitted". If what you are saying is true, then I would say that the members of that group had a passive-aggressive streak. And I never said it was indicative of Seattle. Since when did I say that?
Actually, the parameters were rather loose. The group said it was "intended" for those between 25-45, but they would not turn down anyone who was slightly younger or older, in short, a 23 year-old was allowed to join. I may have not had the characteristic, but if they didn't want someone who was under 25, they should have said, "anyone under 25 not permitted". If what you are saying is true, then I would say that the members of that group had a passive-aggressive streak. And I never said it was indicative of Seattle. Since when did I say that?
Any time that you sign up for a dating/matchmaking service, I think you run the risk of this happening. When you pay for something, you expect to "get what you paid for." If you pay money to a matchmaking service that's supposed to hook you up with 6'3 28-year old lawyers with black hair and blue eyes, high cheekbones, a BMI of 22.5, and a 3 bedroom/2.5ba house in Redmond and then you show up and there's a bunch of 5'11 26-year old middle managers with brown hair and brown eyes, rounded facial features, BMI's of 24, and 2-bedroom apartments in Northgate, you're going to feel like you paid for a service that's not being provided and you're probably not going to feel like chatting up anyone because they're not what you expected.
In a nutshell: it kind of turns dating into window shopping at best, and a meat market at worst.
I didn't find the dating scene in Seattle to be all that great; that said, I found it easier to date than to just make platonic friends. I walked away from Seattle with four proper friends (two of whom are Californians, one of whom is a New Yorker, one of whom is Alaskan), and with seven "exes" or women I'd at least dated for an extended period. I guess that the basic human need trumps introversion in those cold Seattle winters...
Any time that you sign up for a dating/matchmaking service, I think you run the risk of this happening. When you pay for something, you expect to "get what you paid for." If you pay money to a matchmaking service that's supposed to hook you up with 6'3 28-year old lawyers with black hair and blue eyes, high cheekbones, a BMI of 22.5, and a 3 bedroom/2.5ba house in Redmond and then you show up and there's a bunch of 5'11 26-year old middle managers with brown hair and brown eyes, rounded facial features, BMI's of 24, and 2-bedroom apartments in Northgate, you're going to feel like you paid for a service that's not being provided and you're probably not going to feel like chatting up anyone because they're not what you expected.
In a nutshell: it kind of turns dating into window shopping at best, and a meat market at worst.
I didn't find the dating scene in Seattle to be all that great; that said, I found it easier to date than to just make platonic friends. I walked away from Seattle with four proper friends (two of whom are Californians, one of whom is a New Yorker, one of whom is Alaskan), and with seven "exes" or women I'd at least dated for an extended period. I guess that the basic human need trumps introversion in those cold Seattle winters...
If I remember correctly, the original incident that pirate laffite was talking about was a Meet up group that wasn't in Seattle. I think someone suggested a Meetup to meet people in Seattle and he was just sharing his experience with using Meetup as a mechanism to meet people (it may have even been in the Atlanta area - this thread has really been on some tangents).
If I remember correctly, the original incident that pirate laffite was talking about was a Meet up group that wasn't in Seattle. I think someone suggested a Meetup to meet people in Seattle and he was just sharing his experience with using Meetup as a mechanism to meet people (it may have even been in the Atlanta area - this thread has really been on some tangents).
Gotcha. Same applies for anywhere really with those groups....
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. Snow would be removed from walks and driveway every morning, kids delivered to school, car warmed up for wife, free rides to clinics, free elder-sitting for the infirmed, carolers at the door, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, and a nice community potluck for the memorial service
(ALL without asking
)...
