Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (Pacific: renters, shopping center)

[Ira500]

and some white douche
But why didn't you tell us to stay away from white douches?
For me, being happy is a lot more important than being rich. I wouldn't be happy even attempting to be an "A" lister. I'm an east coast native and have lived in NYC, but I'd have to call myself a "Z" lister, I don't need to climb over bodies to feel good about myself, and I don't need to put down people who constitute maybe a fourth of the world's population? But whatever floats your boat.

[myc10003]

Good challenge. I'll describe you a few incidents and you can draw conclusions. But later, busy right now.

[j_cat]

Sort of ironic, isn't it, that the people are considered icy, yet the weather is almost never that way? Who came up with the phrase anyway?

[vandygirl]

It is so hard to make friends here ... so, so hard. After exchanging phone numbers and emails with people they swear they're going to call you or email you but they never do. I promise you that if you meet someone while out and about in Seattle, have a long conversation, share a few chuckles and give them your contact info, you will never hear from them again.

If you contact them, they don't return your message, and when you get them on the phone they act like they are surprised that you contacted them and they don't understand the concept of an acquaintance making a social call. I even have cousins from Seattle who act like this: surprised to hear from a relative in the city. They usually don't return calls. People here are great on the surface but they are anti-social beyond that. I used to think it was because I was new in town but now after six months here I still have only made one new friend here (who's married with a family and can't hang out at night). Now it's the holidays. New Year's Eve is coming up. I have no one to hang out with, no love prospects and cousins who don't want to be bothered. Hurray for me.

[Inkpoe]

Vandy, it just takes awhile (and it's nothing personal... I notice it has a lot to do with self-absorption.) Just relish your freedom now and do things that you normally would never do (like sky-dive, or whatever).

[nevermind90]

Originally Posted by vandygirl

It is so hard to make friends here ... so, so hard. After exchanging phone numbers and emails with people they swear they're going to call you or email you but they never do. I promise you that if you meet someone while out and about in Seattle, have a long conversation, share a few chuckles and give them your contact info, you will never hear from them again.

If you contact them, they don't return your message, and when you get them on the phone they act like they are surprised that you contacted them and they don't understand the concept of an acquaintance making a social call. I even have cousins from Seattle who act like this: surprised to hear from a relative in the city. They usually don't return calls. People here are great on the surface but they are anti-social beyond that. I used to think it was because I was new in town but now after six months here I still have only made one new friend here (who's married with a family and can't hang out at night). Now it's the holidays. New Year's Eve is coming up. I have no one to hang out with, no love prospects and cousins who don't want to be bothered. Hurray for me.

i cant believe what i'm hearing. is everyone there like that or just the older people? i mean theres no way that EVERYONE in a large city has the same general anti-social attitude that you're describing, its not normal. i hope to make a good amount of friends when i move to Seattle, and if my experiences are going to be anything like yours then i dont know if i will be able to stand living there for very long.

[CarawayDJ]

Originally Posted by nevermind90

i cant believe what i'm hearing. is everyone there like that or just the older people? i mean theres no way that EVERYONE in a large city has the same general anti-social attitude that you're describing, its not normal. i hope to make a good amount of friends when i move to Seattle, and if my experiences are going to be anything like yours then i dont know if i will be able to stand living there for very long.

I would bet my house that this forum exaggerates the so-called freeze considerably. You don't even have to live in Seattle to realize that. If posts in this thread were accurate, you wouldn't see anyone walking in groups, nobody eating at a restaurant with friends, no socializing, and no propagation of the species. I only half jest.

I've detected a culture found in parts of Europe where people don't feel a need to say hi to strangers, but I highly doubt it's much worse than that. Again, you don't need to live there to use common sense on this. Sit on a bench somewhere and take note of all of the groups of people you will see. Go to a restaurant and take note of the numerous groups of people you see together. They don't all look like family. Just look around on any visit and ask yourself if you see what looks like a bunch of isolated hermits who don't interact with each other. You won't. People appear pretty much normal, and I don't hang out in the tourist areas when I visit.

I don't doubt that there is a cultural difference, but I'm fairly certain it's exaggerated by a factor of 1000 here.

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by vandygirl

It is so hard to make friends here ... so, so hard. After exchanging phone numbers and emails with people they swear they're going to call you or email you but they never do. I promise you that if you meet someone while out and about in Seattle, have a long conversation, share a few chuckles and give them your contact info, you will never hear from them again.

If you contact them, they don't return your message, and when you get them on the phone they act like they are surprised that you contacted them and they don't understand the concept of an acquaintance making a social call. I even have cousins from Seattle who act like this: surprised to hear from a relative in the city. They usually don't return calls. People here are great on the surface but they are anti-social beyond that. I used to think it was because I was new in town but now after six months here I still have only made one new friend here (who's married with a family and can't hang out at night). Now it's the holidays. New Year's Eve is coming up. I have no one to hang out with, no love prospects and cousins who don't want to be bothered. Hurray for me.

Sounds like something I'd say...

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by nevermind90

i cant believe what i'm hearing. is everyone there like that or just the older people? i mean theres no way that EVERYONE in a large city has the same general anti-social attitude that you're describing, its not normal. i hope to make a good amount of friends when i move to Seattle, and if my experiences are going to be anything like yours then i dont know if i will be able to stand living there for very long.

Good luck. After you've been there for six months, check back in and let us know how it goes. There are a few posts I've read in this thread where someone who came to Seattle excited and bright-eyed about making friends and having a good time before or right after they moved ultimately asks WTH is going on with people not returning their calls or wanting to make eye contact with them after a few months. It most certainly isn't normal; people will make comments about how there are plenty of people who don't want to socialize with you in NYC or LA, but there's no thread about a "New York" freeze or a "Los Angeles freeze." That's because there are plenty of people who will return your phone calls in those cities. Then, they'll talk about how it takes at least a year in Seattle... or two years... and you can't be too overtly desiring of friendship. You have to follow a formula of reservation, non-intrusion (asking someone to take time out of their schedule to hang out is intrusive, evidently), and general mousey behaviour... and then KA-BOOM! Friends and a social circle. That may be the case, but at the end of the day, it's just a hell of a lot easier to socialize elsewhere.

Some people are cut out for Seattle, some aren't. I sure as hell wasn't. I don't want to spend a couple years pussyfooting around going to grab a beer - I just want to go out and do it.

We work together?
We listen to the same music?
We have the same political beliefs?
We both watch the same movies?
We both like burritos?
Well then by jove, let's go out and get a damn burrito after work! Talk about some bands and I'll loan you this awesome DVD.
We both live in the same neighborhood. There's a good taqueria out that way.
Let's go next Friday. I'll even give you a lift, since it's supposed to be raining and I know you take the bus.
Oh, okay, well maybe next week.
(repeat as necessary until you lose it and leave)

This isn't my passing judgement on Seattle being a bad place, it's just my making an observation about why it was a bad place for me. I lived there for a little over a year, and couldn't get out of there fast enough after having spent that time there.

The younger you are, the easier it will be; if you're college-aged, you'll have a lot of young, enthusiastic classmates who aren't from there originally and that will probably be your saving grace. Moving there as a professional adult is another matter.

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by nevermind90

i cant believe what i'm hearing. is everyone there like that or just the older people? i mean theres no way that EVERYONE in a large city has the same general anti-social attitude that you're describing, its not normal. i hope to make a good amount of friends when i move to Seattle, and if my experiences are going to be anything like yours then i dont know if i will be able to stand living there for very long.

It's generally everyone, not age specific.

A courteous but 'distant' social engagement.

You will have plenty of acquaintances and folks to do things with in Seattle, but they won't be 'Friends'. (the 'die-on-the-sword' to help you type).

Just come and have a great time, and hope you never get sick enough to need a meal or a trip to the Dr provided by your neighbor. There are a few ways to mitigate this if you are creative

I certainly don't see folks 'hanging together in groups' in Seattle as I did while living in Europe. The 'Seattle stance' is shivering with both hands wrapped around a cardboard cup while you wait single file in line for a $5 brew. I have seen much warmer relationships formed while waiting in line at a soup kitchen. Certainly not the Pub or Tapa environment. The streets roll up at 4PM this time of the year in Seattle. Just hurry home and enjoy your relationship with high speed internet, Wii, Netflix, iPad. Hey, it's a BLAST, get used to it.

It has only been like this for about 140 yrs. (settled by those seeking independence). Well They got it


YMMV (Hope so )