Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (Pacific: Vietnamese, metro area)

[victorianpunk]

Originally Posted by observer

For the most part I agree with most of what you wrote above. However, After spending about a month in Seattle last summer and having the opportunity to meet and interact with many locals, it does seem that part of what was written in the "Seattle Freeze" article seems pretty accurate; epecially when describing people in general to be polite but distant.

In general it seems as if people have more of a "dry" personality in Seattle compared to many other big cities. Obviously that is not the case with everyone as I met quite a few lively and outgoing people in Seattle. As you mentioned above about people not being funny. I think part of it is that there are many more introverts in Seattle than extroverts. This has very little to do with actually being polite or not, as I found many people to be polite in Seattle. Yet, it does seem as if keeping to themselves is more common in Seattle than other big cities . Even a person I spoke to that has lived in Seattle for over 10 years when discussing the "Seattle Freeze" topic agreed and told me that it sounded very accurate to him.

Not having lived in Seattle, but having visited a few times including 1 month in the summer and speaking to locals I have met, I am coming to the conclusion that people ARE more polite and civil in Seattle, but developing close friendship with people and developing FRIENDS NOT ACQUAINTANCES is much more difficult than in other places. This is not bashing Seattle at all, my opinions are from personal observation and opinions of those that I have met that live in Seattle. All in all, I still like Seattle and plan on returning this summer.

Again, the problem is that a huge chunk of the people in Seattle were not born in Seattle, but are transplants from other places. Only about 50% of people in this area are actually from this area, with large numbers being from all over the country and hence, you meet all kinds of people from everywhere. So, if there is a "Seattle Freeze" than I don't see how that effects people from outside of Seattle who move here.

Like I said, compared to New Jersey, where just about everyone is from the state originally and no one moves there (has anyone really fallen in love with New Jersey and decided to move their just because?) there are plenty of people in Seattle who are also looking to make friends because they are from out of state and would also like to meet people, where as other areas have majority of people who were born and raised in the said area and already have all the friends they want.

[survivorqt]

Originally Posted by victorianpunk

Again, the problem is that a huge chunk of the people in Seattle were not born in Seattle, but are transplants from other places. Only about 50% of people in this area are actually from this area, with large numbers being from all over the country and hence, you meet all kinds of people from everywhere. So, if there is a "Seattle Freeze" than I don't see how that effects people from outside of Seattle who move here.

Like I said, compared to New Jersey, where just about everyone is from the state originally and no one moves there (has anyone really fallen in love with New Jersey and decided to move their just because?) there are plenty of people in Seattle who are also looking to make friends because they are from out of state and would also like to meet people, where as other areas have majority of people who were born and raised in the said area and already have all the friends they want.

thats why i want to leave hawaii and move to seattle

[Inkpoe]

Originally Posted by victorianpunk

Great post...just don't expect too many people to agree with your post, and as you can see it is already getting ignored. I moved here seven months ago and have met more cool people in seven months of Seattle as I have my last seven years back in Jersey. All you have to do is be willing to make the effort and get out there. Plenty of people move to the Seattle area every day and they too are looking for friends, unlike allot of other cities that have no population of transplants. You just have to make an effort and reach out to people.

Personally, I think this whole "Seattle Freeze" thing is a cover people use for their own lack of social skills and unwillingness to meet people. Like I said before, the only in real life I have encountered who complain about people in Seattle being "reserved" are people who themselves have awful attitudes that no one anywhere would want to be around.

People in Seattle are not unfriendly...a bit passive aggressive?Yes, but not unfriendly. From my own experience the whole "Seattle Freeze" thing is exactly what I thought it would be before I came here: a myth....

I disagree to an extent. I think ultimately you kept a good attitude and didn't take it personal, which is why it has worked out well for you. I have met many outgoing people whose self-confidence just crashed here. I'm the type of person who if I show up at a house party, I will zoom in on everyone, meet/chat with them and introduce myself to those I don't know. Weirdly enough, those newbies become so grateful that someone they don't know is talking to them. Not all lack social skills and were unwilling to meet with people.

Originally Posted by victorianpunk

BUT, I will say that by and large, Seattleites are simply NOT FUNNY, as in they don't make half as many jokes as most Easterners, Southerners, or Midwestern people do. Not too many stand up comedians come from the North West, and I see why. One thing...maybe THE ONLY THING I can say good about Jersey people that I can't say about Seattle people is that they are a hell of allot funnier, but I just think that humor is especially high in Jersey where people need to make themselves laugh to get over the stress of the rat-race.

Thank you for noticing this. Sometimes I think I'm crazy when I think that, but yes... its true for most part. I think its more... they lack a sense of irony. Irony is good, but not a lot of people get it.

[PollyGlott]

Originally Posted by Inkpoe

I disagree to an extent. I think ultimately you kept a good attitude and didn't take it personal, which is why it has worked out well for you. I have met many outgoing people whose self-confidence just crashed here. I'm the type of person who if I show up at a house party, I will zoom in on everyone, meet/chat with them and introduce myself to those I don't know. Weirdly enough, those newbies become so grateful that someone they don't know is talking to them. Not all lack social skills and were unwilling to meet with people.

Thank goodness for people like you, Inkpoe! When I'm at a party and don't know people, I shrivel up. At best, I manage to fake interest. I usually leave early - unless someone like you saves me from my social ineptness...

[victorianpunk]

Originally Posted by Inkpoe

Thank you for noticing this. Sometimes I think I'm crazy when I think that, but yes... its true for most part. I think its more... they lack a sense of irony. Irony is good, but not a lot of people get it.

Indeed, puns around here are an endangered species...maybe they should make that official? What, with all the tree-huggers here if they made puns and purposeful double entendres were made a protected species, they might develop a sense of humor and call it "managing a environmental habitat" or something.

Yahh, in Jersey, "Irony" is every other guy's middle name...only problem is, every other guy's last name is "Gotti"...

[Ira500]

Yahh, in Jersey, "Irony" is every other guy's middle name...only problem is, every other guy's last name is "Gotti"...

So you better get the joke, or else....

[PollyGlott]

Originally Posted by Ira500

Yahh, in Jersey, "Irony" is every other guy's middle name...only problem is, every other guy's last name is "Gotti"...

So you better get the joke, or else....

... there go your kneecaps!!!

[Dweeby]

Originally Posted by victorianpunk

Again, the problem is that a huge chunk of the people in Seattle were not born in Seattle, but are transplants from other places. Only about 50% of people in this area are actually from this area, with large numbers being from all over the country and hence, you meet all kinds of people from everywhere. So, if there is a "Seattle Freeze" than I don't see how that effects people from outside of Seattle who move here.

The Seattle Times article mentions that once newcomers have been here for a while, they begin to act similarly. The analogy used is that if a dog gets his nose smacked every time he comes out of a cage, he'll begin stay in his cage.

I think that many people who move here never feel like they truly became Seattlites, even after years of living here, partially because they didn't experience the welcoming rituals that are common elsewhere. They never got initiated, so to speak. So, they don't feel that they "represent" Seattle, which means that they don't feel qualified and/or willing to welcome others to Seattle.

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by Dweeby

The Seattle Times article mentions that once newcomers have been here for a while, they begin to act similarly. The analogy used is that if a dog gets his nose smacked every time he comes out of a cage, he'll begin stay in his cage.

I think that many people who move here never feel like they truly became Seattlites, even after years of living here, partially because they didn't experience the welcoming rituals that are common elsewhere. They never got initiated, so to speak. So, they don't feel that they "represent" Seattle, which means that they don't feel qualified and/or willing to welcome others to Seattle.

It took me awhile to get used to being outgoing and approach people again after I moved back down here. Like, I notice a girl at a social event smiling at me... and after twenty minutes of smiing at one another, I say hi... and... she keeps talking to me. And then I remember I should probably give her my number and ask for hers... and we go on a few dates. I tell a coworker we should go out for drinks, and after work, he says, "let's go to the Irish Bank," and we go have a few pints. You make plans with people, and they make an effort to keep them. It's kind of nice.

I would say that the first maybe four months I was there, I didn't get it and still socialized like a Bostonian by way of California. Then, I was sort of beaten into submission - you can only take being rejected socially for so long before it wears on you, no matter how confident you are as a person. The last few months, when I knew I'd be leaving, I quit caring and went back to normal... and proceeded to make half the Seattlites I encountered uncomfortable with my pleasant, outgoing demeanor.

[victorianpunk]

Originally Posted by Dweeby

The Seattle Times article mentions that once newcomers have been here for a while, they begin to act similarly. The analogy used is that if a dog gets his nose smacked every time he comes out of a cage, he'll begin stay in his cage.

I think that many people who move here never feel like they truly became Seattlites, even after years of living here, partially because they didn't experience the welcoming rituals that are common elsewhere. They never got initiated, so to speak. So, they don't feel that they "represent" Seattle, which means that they don't feel qualified and/or willing to welcome others to Seattle.

Okay, that makes absolutely no sense what so ever. I'm sorry, but I moved here a few months ago and found people to be just as outgoing as they are anywhere else. Why is it that there is some magical property in the Seattle are that makes people shut down and not want to talk to people? I've never encountered this phenomena and doubt it actually exist...in fact, coming to Seattle has made me more outgoing as people here are allot more laid back then they are back east and are not as ready to snap as they are in those "outgoing" east coast dumps.

And once more someone mentions an opinion article which is just one reporters opinion. Like I said, if I started talking about the " New York/New Jersey SNAP" which is what happens when some New Jerseyian or New Yorker manages to take offense to the littlest thing like, I don't know, wearing a blue shirt in front of them or cracking your knuckles in public, no one would understand what I'm talking about, even though it is a real phenomena. Why? No news article in the all-mighty media to support it.

I'm telling you, it is SO MUCH EASIER to make friends in Seattle, where there are so many transplants looking to meet new people, than it is in the East Coast where, aside from Philly, NYC, Boston and DC, no place has people moving there at all ages. So many folks in Seattle want to meet people just as much as I do: as opposed to Jersey, where past age 23 or so everyone closes their social circles and stops meeting people. If you are like me in Jersey, and are not 100% happy with your social situation after college is over, than you s**** out of luck but here? People want to meet people all the time and at all ages.