Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (Newport: natural gas, furnace)
Seattle areaSeattle and King County Suburbs
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I miss living in a place where people are civilized and polite, yet mind their own business, exchange as little pleasantries as possible, and get on with their days without getting offended because some random guy that was in front of you in line at the grocery store didn't want to start a random conversation.
I hate making eye contact with random people, I'll acknowledge people and maybe lock eyes for a second or two and nod my head down then back up if I'm walking down the street, but that's as far as I want it to go for the most part. I don't want to smile, I don't want to say hi, or respond to a question like "how's your day?" or whatever.... just leave me alone basically.
Even while driving which was a source of much of my personal enjoyment until I moved from Germany to the southeastern US, I cringe at the thought of approaching a traffic light that may turn red just because of the though that "great, now some jerk is going pull up next to me and stare" which is true 3/4 of the time I'm at a light. "So what, you want me to look back at you or something?" What the hell is it with people who want to stare at you or whatever when they're in a car, and you're in a car? Am I supposed to give you a thumbs up and acknowledge your awesomeness that you're confident enough to stare at random strangers that are only trying to mind their own business as they drive to wherever they're going? Am I supposed to lock eyes with you and commence some staring contest?
Where you might find it normal to stare at people in such environments like the people in the car next to yours, I find it creepy, like "great, you know what I look like now, my car is not just a car now, there's actually a human being inside it operating it... swell isn't it, but you're really creeping me out now by continually staring at me for whatever reason it is... please stop."
Yeah I know it's a cultural difference, the part where I didn't grow up in a social environment where everyone knows each other, attends the same church or works at the same place, etc. but the rest of the world doesn't operate like whatever small town in USA works. Excellent example, Germany, where it's illegal for people to tint their car's windows, yet people don't stare at each other sitting at a light, don't ask you "how's it going?" they just nod their heads to show some respect and get on with whatever they're doing. The Germans are easily the friendliest people I've encountered by far as well, I've been given rides by random strangers while intoxicated, bummed hundreds of cigarettes from people I walked near on the street, best nightlife ever experienced, people that are down to earth and are easy to befriend that don't judge you on where you went to HS (small town USA syndrome) how new or expensive your shoes are, etc.
Living in the southeastern USA, I've encountered more fake people than anywhere I've ever been to, friendly, but too friendly to be sincere... like is there a point to your overtly friendliness towards me? What are you trying to sell me? I remember before I left Europe where I had a random chat with someone regarding their visit to America and saying that people are friendly, but it seemed like it was painted on just to win their hearts to get to their wallets or something else. Europeans are very down to earth, but not very trusting like the average American who complains about things like the "Seattle freeze."
I don't know where I'm getting at with this, but I definitely miss living in a place where you can go into the public realm, and go on the whole day without getting creeped on by people who like staring at people that don't look like them, or visit the store minding my business and it's normal for me not to engage in a conversation where in the south I'm the ******* because I don't want to listen to what you have to say... it'd be like living back in Germany.
That is funny. Sounds likes studying people at the macro level (sociology) is much more interesting to him than actually talking to a person at the micro level.
Great observation - I tried to rep you but apparently I've repped you too recently. And how ironic that it was a "community engagement" conference. Love it!
......Even while driving which was a source of much of my personal enjoyment until I moved from Germany to the southeastern US, I cringe at the thought of approaching a traffic light that may turn red just because of the though that "great, now some jerk is going pull up next to me and stare" which is true 3/4 of the time I'm at a light. "So what, you want me to look back at you or something?" What the hell is it with people who want to stare at you or whatever when they're in a car, and you're in a car? Am I supposed to give you a thumbs up and acknowledge your awesomeness that you're confident enough to stare at random strangers that are only trying to mind their own business as they drive to wherever they're going? Am I supposed to lock eyes with you and commence some staring contest?
......
It means either that they are attracted to you, or else if they're young guys they want to race you.
Try to make yourself appear ugly - no one will look at you.
You threw out some bs "theory" and I called you on it. So if you are sticking to it, then yes I'm calling you ignorant. It's not mean spirited. I'm ignorant on a great many topics. Everyone is. If I started talking about one in a way that made it obvious to others that I didn't know what I was talking about, I'd hope someone would let me know too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by motdot
Oh, by the way, I have made many new friendships here. But I'm kind of like a person that believes that you can't have too many friends. So I am always happy to embrace a new acquaintance.
If I send you a friend request, would you accept? 'Just curious...
Hey I'm glad to hear that. You are sounding much more friendly in the latter half of that post; I'm glad I was able to help you come to your senses. Good luck to you.
That is funny. Sounds likes studying people at the macro level (sociology) is much more interesting to him than actually talking to a person at the micro level.
Maybe it's an attempt to figure out how people work, so that he can either a) understand how to be one, or b) be more at peace with the fact that he's a computer and everyone's out to steal his secrets?
You threw out some bs "theory" and I called you on it. So if you are sticking to it, then yes I'm calling you ignorant. It's not mean spirited. I'm ignorant on a great many topics. Everyone is. If I started talking about one in a way that made it obvious to others that I didn't know what I was talking about, I'd hope someone would let me know too.
I think you misunderstood the intention of his post and took it far too personally.
Well in that case, I apologize if I sounded harsh. Here's what I heard from the post - everyone here is strange and a jerk, I'm normal and nice, why isn't everyone like me, oh wait I already know, let me explain to everyone in this area what their problem is. So I was just pointing out that I felt the diagnosis, below, was incorrect.
Quote:
Interestingly enough, you would think that a place where interpersonal relationships are rare, that the people would be more hungry and happy to befriend others.
That doesn't seem to be the case.
My other theory is that introverts, a.k.a. "cold people," come here because it's a better fit for them. "Save energy, don't make friends."
Assumes interpersonal relationships are rare. Why would that be? Because someone flipped you off at a light? Seems rather thin skinned.
Assumes that everyone is dying to make more friends, because they don't have any. Again, why assume this?
Says introverts are cold. This displays not knowing much about introversion/extroversion.
Save energy, don't make friends. Again, just because one has a thought, doesn't make it so.
The assumption seems to be if one tries to develop a friendship with another, and the other person is not as quick to reciprocate, then that person must have no friends, and is not interested in making friends, as a means of saving energy.
Moderator cut: rude, swerver. He didn't assume a single thing you said that he assumed. You're falsely putting words in his mouth. He simply stated possible reasons for what he has experienced.
Last edited by David Aguilar; 11-05-2011 at 04:37 AM..
I have lived here for a few months, leaving my friends and family, to a city I have always loved. But, I don't know if I will stay. This is by far the loneliest place I have ever lived. And, I have lived in many places. I don't understand the elitist culture here. No one is better than anyone else, yet people here think they are better than everyone else. If you are friendly, they find it annoying. If you aren't friendly, you will never make friends. You just can't win.
I really love this city. The people I don't understand. Why do they think they better than anyone else? I will give it a year. I don't want to become a snob just to adapt to the people here. I like the way I am, friendly, sincere, warm, open.
Seattle people are a lot more friendly during the summer. I have always felt that the weather effects people's mood here.
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Good luck to you.
