Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (Bellevue, Marysville: lawyers, wages)

[seattlerain]

Historyafficianado, Yesterday I had some thoughts and questions on some of what you said. After having worked for 12+ hours today I have no idea what those questions and thoughts were.

Tax season is upon us...and being an accountant at this time of year can drain the life right out of you...

At any rate, I enjoyed reading your posts, very thought provoking and with no hint of attacking anybody as can happen here sometimes!

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by Katiana

My cousin and her husband moved to Texas in the 1980s. It was going on there, then. They once saw a bumper sticker that said "If you aren't from Texas, you aren't s***". We all had a laugh over that one, ie, what did that mean if you are from Texas?

Yeah, but they also have that "Don't mess with Texas" sticker, not to mention "My Daughter...and my money go to Texas"...and that one is oversized. But the real litmus test is how they are to deal with...mostly a gregarious bunch, right?

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by Historyafficianado

You're right, I think, it's mostly extroverted people who run into problems here.

Depends on the person.

Again, you've hit that one on the head. The extroverts are the ones who complain.

[kcda]

Originally Posted by seattlenextyear

KCDA: I thought we were talking about the 2005 "Seattle Freeze" article in the Seattle paper, which lamented the lack of Seattle friendships started at bars.

I just re-read the article and I don't see any mention of that.

For the most part people on this thread are just commenting on the attitutes and culture in general.

[VeronikaW]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

Again, you've hit that one on the head. The extroverts are the ones who complain.

I would never in 100,000 years describe myself as an extrovert, and I'm complaining. I don't want to meet a lifelong friend or anything, but when I say, "hello" to my neighbors, I expect more than being grunted at.

V. =)

[cobolt]

Extroverts are NOT the only ones who experience the Seattle Freeze. That's a ridiculous statement. I am not an extrovert, am rather a private and reserved person, but I still value close, meaningful friendships over superficial skimmings. I think this freeze has very little to do with living in a "big metropolis" having myself lived in Chicago and NEVER experiencing the anti-social behavior I have here. I have made friends wherever I have lived, and when the PacNW is finally in my rear-view mirror, sadly I will only have about one name to add to my contact book (as someone else here mentioned). Heck, I was in Alaska last year and made friends I still have contact with, ...and that was just on a visit! When they came to visit me in WA, they also observed the "distant nature" of people. The one thing that has made my stay here bearable is the contact I have with friends I made while living elsewhere. Whenever I travel outside of WA, it's such a treat to be around friendly people. It's like I'm a different person...I can finally be myself instead of conforming to the passive-agressive and disconnected mood here because it's the only way you can function....act as the lay of the land does. Last summer I was hiking at Mt St Helens and I ran across a family from N Dakota on the trail. We started a conversation and after a few minutes they said "You're not from here, are you?" and I answered "No, why do you ask?" And they said "Because you're actually friendly and talking to us." That made me sad....I wondered how many other visitors to this beautiful state had similar experiences. I'd venture to say, quite a few.

[HistoryAficionado]

Well, I said mostly extroverted people -- not exclusively extroverted people. Also, many self-proclaimed introverts may find themselves redefining their perspectives here in the NW. This place can make Thomas Pynchon look like Mr. Party.

As far as this thread being about "the Seattle freeze" -- I read that, due to way too many gloom and doom threads, all of the critical commentary goes here.

By the way speaking of gripes in other cities (not that we were), biggest complaint about Phoenix on City-data -- too darned hot!
http://www.city-data.com/forum/phoen...ce-me-too.html

Looks like the passive-aggressive freeze is Seattle's albatross; it's almost as though you have to pick your purgatory wherever you move.

People don't acknowledge each other in passing, given. People are very reserved, given. Even introverts who aren't used to that see the difference, but it's extroverted people who really need a lot of friends and social interaction who are hit the hardest.

C'mon, it's not as though it's impossible find one friend in Seattle. I've met and hung out with cool people who are both from here and from other places. Finding common interests is a big step toward making friends and seems to take a little more effort. However, dealing with what feels like an unfriendly vibe probably discourages many people from even trying in the first place.

What I really do not like, though, is that, when I have to go to the bank, schedule a dentist appointment, take my car in for an oil change, have someone come repair my fence, or whatever it is, I feel like I get a passive resistance and run around from people for simple things that are indeed their job. It's as though their first reaction is to make you go away, even though you're their customer. I've tried to talk more slowly, not sound insistent, keep it brief, etc, but getting anyone to do anything here is like pulling teeth. That's why I mostly shop online, avoid going to restaurants (the service here, I think isn't good -- even though the food is), and prepare myself mentally for the passive aggressive responses whenever I need to get anything done.

[toughguy]

Why would I start a conversation with some stranger passing on the street who I don't know, don't want to know, wouldn't relate to whatsoever, and wouldn't give a rats behind if they died the next day? If that is considered part of the freeze, than I proudly perpetuate the frost with my icy visage of indifference. I have no problem striking up conversations at parties, making small talk (no matter how unneccesary and awkward it can be), etc....But why am I expected to greet strangers like they are my long lost friend?

[HistoryAficionado]

Originally Posted by toughguy

Why would I start a conversation with some stranger passing on the street who I don't know, don't want to know, wouldn't relate to whatsoever, and wouldn't give a rats behind if they died the next day?

See the comments on upbringing and social attitudes. To you, you're behaving the "right" way and it makes sense to you. To others, you might come across as unfriendly.

Not saying you're wrong. You know, when in Sweden, speak Swedish, when in Russia, speak Russian; when in Seattle, don't speak at all.

[toughguy]

Originally Posted by Historyafficianado

See the comments on upbringing and social attitudes. To you, you're behaving the "right" way and it makes sense to you. To others, you might come across as unfriendly.

Not saying you're wrong. You know, when in Sweden, speak Swedish, when in Russia, speak Russian; when in Seattle, don't speak at all.

Hypothetical scenario- I am walking to work, the streets are not packed since it is still relatively early in the morning, and someone is passing me by going in the opposite direction. Is it considered unfriendly if I don't greet this person, or even acknowledge that they exist?