Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (Bellingham, Pacific: area, business)

[Jennibc]

Originally Posted by toughguy

There are also people chiming in that have never lived here (kcda). Why can't I base my assumption off the prevailing axiom that southerners are overly friendly to your face and then talk about you behind your back?

Because Texans aren't Southerners, they are TEXANS!

That's like lumping Seattlites into the same category as Los Angelenos.

[kcda]

Actually toughguy, I have lived in Washington. I've also spent lots of time there as my dh's entire side of the family lives in Seattle, Friday Harbor, Longview, etc...I also have friends in Bellevue, Lynwood, Mercer Island and Redmond. I am very familiar with the place. Have you spent any time in Texas?

[toughguy]

Originally Posted by kcda

Actually toughguy, I have lived in Washington. I've also spent lots of time there as my dh's entire side of the family lives in Seattle, Friday Harbor, Longview, etc...I also have friends in Bellevue, Lynwood, Mercer Island and Redmond. I am very familiar with the place. Have you spent any time in Texas?

Forgive me for thinking you have never been here, you sound like an "internet expert" with all of your sweeping generalizatoins and stereotyping. You know what I am talking about. I haven't been to Texas, but I have read threads on the Houston, Dallas, and Austin boards about southern friendliness, and many people have stated that in their opinion it is fake.

[jwb123]

So sounds like you are also an "internet expert" then too!

[daytripper]

Originally Posted by toughguy

Forgive me for thinking you have never been here, you sound like an "internet expert" with all of your sweeping generalizatoins and stereotyping. You know what I am talking about. I haven't been to Texas, but I have read threads on the Houston, Dallas, and Austin boards about southern friendliness, and many people have stated that in their opinion it is fake.

It is "fake".....having lived in Ga, Fl, and NC I have experienced the Hospitality of the south first hand...and in depth ( several years in each state) no matter how long you live there you are and will always be considered a "yankee". I don't really think it's that bad in Texas as the "deep south. I find Texas to be separate from the "south". I actually enjoy Houston. ( except for the traffic)

[toughguy]

Originally Posted by Jenbar

So sounds like you are also an "internet expert" then too!

Touche my friend, touche.

[judy3]

My mother was one of eleven children born in southern Virginia. She was the only one to move away from the state, to Indiana where I have lived my entire life. She was raised on a tobacco farm. All of the children had a job on the farm. They were not aristocracy. Even though I have been loved by them just as much as they love one another, I am still a "yankee" to them. While they were children the entire family went to church every Sunday. Most of them continued this with their families throughout their lives. They actually practice what they have had preached to them. They are not the types to talk about people behind their backs, not even if they have been wronged. For them to think of me as a "yankee" is more of a geographic thing, than anything meant to be mean spirited. Yes, there are southerners that talk about people when they are not around, and I'm sure this is the case everywhere.

I think a lot of the issues that some southerners have with others is that many people are crowding into areas that are close to both mountains, and beaches. People are looking to live in areas that have four seasons. People don't want to be too cold or too hot. And an extra bonus, it seems, is to live near a university. I have read on the popular lists that will enumerate for any interested party everything from the best electric toothbrush, to the best place to have your ashes scattered, that university towns have more intelligent people, and intelligent people are more interesting, and therefore more fun. Many of these factors come into play in the southern states, and I don't think they mind sharing all of these things, I just don't think they want people to crowd in and say, "Okay y'all (see we're one of you already) what you folks have had here for some years now is great, and this is how you can make it better."

I have visited Seattle, and I think it is stunning in its beauty. I don't think the Seattle people would put up with anyone crowding in and trying to change things, although I understand that crowding alone, anywhere, changes some things, because there is only so much area. Sometimes southerners are taught, in my opinion, that manners mean not saying something sometimes, when really speaking up would help. They keep quiet, and let it stew inside of them, and sometimes then they think they are being taken advantage of, and no one likes that feeling.

[kcda]

Originally Posted by toughguy

Forgive me for thinking you have never been here, you sound like an "internet expert" with all of your sweeping generalizatoins and stereotyping. You know what I am talking about. I haven't been to Texas, but I have read threads on the Houston, Dallas, and Austin boards about southern friendliness, and many people have stated that in their opinion it is fake.

I'm no "internet expert", in fact this is my first time ever being on a board much to the dismay of my dh who thinks it's a waste of time (he's probably right). Anyway, my experiences are firsthand unlike you who just "reads" about Texas.

You are just getting defensive about your city. I've been guilty of it myself when people claim things about San Diego that I don't believe to be true. It's human nature.

I'm visiting Seattle in a couple weeks and I'm going to keep an open mind and enjoy myself. Jet Blue just started service between SD-Seattle nonstop.

[goldengrain]

Originally Posted by judy3

Sometimes southerners are taught, in my opinion, that manners mean not saying something sometimes, when really speaking up would help. They keep quiet, and let it stew inside of them, and sometimes then they think they are being taken advantage of, and no one likes that feeling.

Excellent observation.
I have often thought that our South is similar to Japan in this sort of thinking.
Perhaps one could think that the Southern philosophy helps society run more smoothly.
I used to think New Yorkers were so abrasive, but they are used to being that way with each other.

When these two philosophies are found in two different families, what are the results, I wonder?

I stifled a lot with my family, not wishing to cause dissension, but then, leaving home, I was glad to be rid of them in many ways and never felt really free until I did leave.

Would the situation have been better if I did not just shut up? Would the fighting and attempts to reason with others have gleaned positive results? Would some have seen it my way? Perhaps. Maybe some were stuck in antiquated philosophies and really needed something to stir them up.

Japan, as nice as the people and country are, does/did have a lot of disfunctionallity. Youth suicides, old people dying on the job from overwork, spouses not being compensated. 'The nail that sticks up gets hit', whereas
the American/New York attitude is 'The squeaking wheel gets the oil'.

Interesting.

[geonerd]

I've lived in the south for most of my life between Rleigh, NC and Charleston, SC. Spent a year and a half in San Francisco and I've lived in Korea for almost 2 years. Many of the places I lived in, I never saw my neighbors, much less spoke or made conversation with them. And that was fine with me. Other places we had great relationships with neighbors. The people I've met are as diverse as the places I've been.

The main thing I've learned is that you can't determine the "friendliness" of a particular place by how many people tip their hat to you in the morning or offer to open doors for strangers - those things are culture specific. If I smile and nod to every person I see on the way to work here in Korea it would be a sign of disrespect or confrontation. In the south those greetings are normal, but they certainly don't indicate friendliness. More just an obligation or something they learned to do from parents.

I'm looking forward to moving to Redmond. It's got everything my family is looking for. If it takes longer for us to develop quality relationships, that's fine. If people in the public places are curt, that's fine too. I'd much prefer honest indifference to disingenuine politeness. Besides it was voted one of the most dog friendly place in the states by dogfriendly.com. That's all I need to know.