Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (Spokane, Newport: gardening, park)

[snowdogging]

How anti-social are the people? I'm sort of used to places in the South where you can go up to people and start a friendly conversation. Same thing in Northeast England, Toronto, and Montreal. I know the people in NYC, from my experience, are a bit colder about socializing, so how is it in Seattle?

People take a lot of warming up to...they can be dismissive and even rude if they feel cornered. You have to be patient. I am a guy so we may have a hugely different perspective on this.

[Jennibc]

Originally Posted by snowdogging

People take a lot of warming up to...they can be dismissive and even rude if they feel cornered. You have to be patient. I am a guy so we may have a hugely different perspective on this.

No, I am a woman, and you are spot on. People here are just not all that friendly. If you walk by, smile, say good morning, nine times out of ten, people will avert their eyes (and this is walking in neighborhood -it's not like I am downtown doing this)

[kattwoman2]

Originally Posted by Jennibc

No, I am a woman, and you are spot on. People here are just not all that friendly. If you walk by, smile, say good morning, nine times out of ten, people will avert their eyes (and this is walking in neighborhood -it's not like I am downtown doing this)

Wow, so are there places where people in their 20's can go to socialize and meet new friends? Or is it better to travel to other places if I'm looking to socialize, build connections, and hang out?

[Djpuma]

Does this whole thing have to do with dating in Seattle or does it have to do with people not being friendly enough to have get togethers. Now Im confused.

[kattwoman2]

Originally Posted by Djpuma

Does this whole thing have to do with dating in Seattle or does it have to do with people not being friendly enough to have get togethers. Now Im confused.

I don't know either. I know my father, who lived in a small town about a couple of hours away from Seattle, told me a few hours ago that when he moved to the South from Washington state that he had trouble getting used to the idea of people being very friendly. He also had trouble getting used to the idea of people going up to other people and challenging them to fights. He claimed that his area of Washington wasn't social though he did have friends (but most of those were either through school, church, or they were his relatives).

I know my relatives that live in Kirkland have some friends from childhood they hang out with occasionally. However, while I was in Kirkland and Seattle they didn't seem to hang out with other people that much. I wasn't sure if it was b/c I was there or if it was b/c they usually just work and hang out in their own family circle and that's it.

However, there was one time where we popped a tire on our way back from Concunully (sp?) and a few people stopped and tried to help us. One of them was this really hot guy around my age and if not for the fact that my aunt and little cousin were around telling him not to worry about fixing the tire I would have definitely had gotten his number, or at least asked him if he had a facebook/myspace so we could chat .

I know cities like NYC tend to be not as social, but was sort of hoping that it didn't rub off on Seattle. Oh well, I'm not too worried about it as long as it isn't like some places where if you even enter the neighborhood they would gun you down or if you try to talk to people they treat you with a rude attitude and snub you/tell you to get lost.

[got_rain?]

Originally Posted by YoAdrian

OK, so, I've just read through this entire thread, and the "Seattle Freeze" article posted early on. I Just want to add that if this is really the social attittude/climate in Seattle, it sounds like a dream to me.

Out here in metro DC, people go out of their way to be rude to you, and it drives me nuts. On the other hand, I don't want to live in an area where everybody wants to be my friend. I want to live in an area where people are courteous but then leave you alone, unless you give them a clear signal that you want something more. Some people might find this phony, or irritating. I say it's respectable. People are nice and then get out of your face and your business.

I imagine this could be a problem if you're looking for lots of friends and a buzzing social life. But my wife and I keep to ourselves. We're each other's best friend. We hardly ever go out. Our idea of a party is a cup of coffee on the sofa, watching a good movie. And me, I'm extremely introverted. The last thing I want is a bunch of people getting in my face with a bunch of fake friendliness, twisting my arm to "go out and have fun." I want to be left alone. I'll be perfectly friendly to you when we're together in social situation ... just like in the story, I'm the guy who holds the elevator door open for you, or lets you merge in traffic. But it's not a gesture of friendship, or wanting to get to know you better. It's just a gesture of courtesy. Period, end of story.

Introverts get a bad rap as standoffish people. I'm sure a lot of people regard me as standoffish. But then, I know a lot of people think of me as very courteous and friendly, too. I think that's part of what's going on here with this so-called Seattle Freeze. People are just misunderstood. It seems that the PNW attracts introverts. That's great for some, not so great for others.

Gosh, I already love cloudy, rainy days. Seattle is really starting to sound like paradise to me. So I just want to thank everyone for contributing to this thread.

...ditto, ditto, ditto. You're not going to be best friends with everyone. Why does everyone get their feelings hurt so easily? New York, yes, I love it. I like that people are "real". You know where you stand. Seattle is similar, but in a different manner. If you want a true friend, like anywhere else, it's going to come from good times spent together. My wife and I aren't expecting to bump into our "BFF's" while purchasing vegetables at the Pike Place Market. You never know when you'll make a true friend. Someone holding the door for me or saying "hello" doesn't bother me. They go off on their business as do I. If something develops from that so be it. If not, I won't lose any sleep, but I appreciate the courtesy, even if it's only to appear courteous.

San Diego on the other hand, smacks of being artificial. The flashiness, faux-models, cars that out-do other cars. It's such a show. The weather insures that there's always something more on another day, instead of having terrible weather and appreciating every little bit that you have. It's extremely conservative in the sense that if it's not from San Diego, it's misunderstood. Seattle might have some of that, but at least there's a bit more diversity...on the surface. People will always try to prove who's more liberal or conservative or more green or more socially/intellectually conscious wherever you go. Just ride the wave and go your own way. Friends will be met somewhere in between.

[cobolt]

Originally Posted by _Charles_

I am working on getting out of here. After 7 years I have had all I can stand. The only hold up is lining up a comparable position in my field back in Phoenix. If the economy was in better shape, I would just sell and move and take my chances finding a new job. Believe me I am ready to leave tomorrow!

I'm in the same boat as you: working on the escape plan but finding the comparable position is the problem. I have a plan, and a time frame, and if I have to take a pay cut, so be it. Good luck to you!!

[orangeblossom]

Shameless plug,but I have an 80's meetup if anyone is interested. Def. no freeze unless you can do the freeze on the dance floor.

[victorianpunk]

Originally Posted by Jennibc

No, I am a woman, and you are spot on. People here are just not all that friendly. If you walk by, smile, say good morning, nine times out of ten, people will avert their eyes (and this is walking in neighborhood -it's not like I am downtown doing this)

That's the same case in New Jersey, NYC, and most places in the northeast. It's just an American thing, not a Seattle thing. The south might have people who are "warm", but keep in mind that bible-thumping there is a national past time and everyone is in your business.

One thing no one is saying about Seattle: people don't have a problem minding their own business. Last time I was in Georgia, for only a week, I had FOUR come up to me, COMPLETE STRANGERS, on four different occasions and asked me "so, have you found Jesus yet?"

Can Seattle top that?

"takes time to warm up" is something I would prefer over "is 'warm' and in your face" any day.

[victorianpunk]

Originally Posted by cobolt

I'm in the same boat as you: working on the escape plan but finding the comparable position is the problem. I have a plan, and a time frame, and if I have to take a pay cut, so be it. Good luck to you!!

I've been to Phoenix...crowded, people seem terrified of everything for no reason at all, and it's HOT. But, to each his own. If Portland doesn't work out for me, I'm headed to Seattle next year...at least Seattle doesn't have this social problem that Jersey has....
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