Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (construction, college)

[Monumental1]

Originally Posted by chris

how long have you lived here monumental?

I've met several hundred people since I've been here, but I have seriously, maybe 2 friends outside of family. Not that I have time for much more than 2 friends...

I've lived in Seattle for over 27 years, born and raised.

Only other city I've ever lived in was and still (partly) is Los Angeles, (off and on since age 16) and a quick stint in San Diego county (Oceanside, CA).

Seattle freeze is a myth..........like I said maybe a few decades ago, you could say people were a bit reserved here, (almost in a shy type of way).

But in general, the west coast is rather laid back, compared to other parts of the country, even in L.A.

[wannabeaTexan]

I've never heard of this "Seattle Freeze" until now. And I'm from here. The article and some of the posts made me LOL. I really don't have anywhere to compare to since I've been here my entire life, but I can see how it could be true. Shoot, I still pretty much only have friends I met in high school or at work (friends I hang out with) and don't even hang out with them that much.

I worry somewhat about moving away and having to make friends in a new area, but it sounds like I shouldn't be!

[badmikeyt]

Originally Posted by Monumental1

I've lived in Seattle for over 27 years, born and raised.

Seattle freeze is a myth..........like I said maybe a few decades ago, you could say people were a bit reserved here, (almost in a shy type of way).

But in general, the west coast is rather laid back, compared to other parts of the country, even in L.A.

Natives don't experience it like people who move from the outside. The reason this article, which is almost 3 years old, still has so much resonance with so many people is because it so accurately (frighteningly so, really) depicts our/their experiences moving to Seattle from 'the outside' ..

However, even though newcomers generally have a hard time making quality connections with people after a couple years or so, they give up/in and become part of the problem and it persists. Give up and get out, I say!

[kjmarysville]

I grew up in the Seattle Metro area, and then moved away for 10 years. I moved back a year ago, and I have not seen or experienced this "seattle freeze" at all. I wonder if it pertains mostly to a single's lifestyle? As a full time mom / homemaker, I don't particularly feel the need to go out and start a bunch of new friendships. But I have made several good, close friends. What I'm curious about, is why does everybody seem to be so outraged by this aspect of keeping people at a distance? The lifestyle in Seattle is a busy one. Between the heavy traffic keeping you tied up for over an hour each way, and the cost of living pushing people to work longer hours to make ends meet, who really has much time? That is, unless you are single without kids. I can look at my brother and his wife...they both work full time, in order to provide a nice lifestyle for their sons. But I can guarantee that at the end of the day, after spending an hour in bumper to bumper traffic, helping the kids with homework, picking up after people, making dinner, and getting the kids ready for bed: who really has the time to go find someplace to be social? Life is busy. I know my own feelings, and I have a difficult time getting "in the mood" to socialize after a long day. And when my husband and I do go out, we are friendly, people are friendly to us, we socialize, learn peoples names, and often even exchange phone numbers. But the people we meet at bowling, stay at bowling. Those we meet at karaoke, stay there too. We may call, or they may call us, to see if we're going on X day of the week, but that's it. Frankly, I have found that too many people are just itching to complain about their lives to somebody...and I have learned the hard way, complain to the wrong person and it can bite you in the rear. I prefer to take my time forming a long and trusting friendship. So I suppose maybe I too seem "standofish". But that is only to protect myself from the "psychic vampires" that thrive off of drama.

Good luck to you all.

[jwb123]

Yeah, well you may not see it - but you pretty much just summed up this whole topic and validated all that has been said! Thank you!

[pwright1]

Kjmarysville you just summed up life in the 21st century in any big metropolitan area. Also it really doesn't pertain to singles, at least not for me. My social life, dating life, friendship life, neighbor to neighbor life is better here in Seattle than anywhere I lived.

[seahawksweetie]

Originally Posted by kjmarysville

I grew up in the Seattle Metro area, and then moved away for 10 years. I moved back a year ago, and I have not seen or experienced this "seattle freeze" at all. I wonder if it pertains mostly to a single's lifestyle? As a full time mom / homemaker, I don't particularly feel the need to go out and start a bunch of new friendships. But I have made several good, close friends. What I'm curious about, is why does everybody seem to be so outraged by this aspect of keeping people at a distance? The lifestyle in Seattle is a busy one. Between the heavy traffic keeping you tied up for over an hour each way, and the cost of living pushing people to work longer hours to make ends meet, who really has much time? That is, unless you are single without kids. I can look at my brother and his wife...they both work full time, in order to provide a nice lifestyle for their sons. But I can guarantee that at the end of the day, after spending an hour in bumper to bumper traffic, helping the kids with homework, picking up after people, making dinner, and getting the kids ready for bed: who really has the time to go find someplace to be social? Life is busy. I know my own feelings, and I have a difficult time getting "in the mood" to socialize after a long day. And when my husband and I do go out, we are friendly, people are friendly to us, we socialize, learn peoples names, and often even exchange phone numbers. But the people we meet at bowling, stay at bowling. Those we meet at karaoke, stay there too. We may call, or they may call us, to see if we're going on X day of the week, but that's it. Frankly, I have found that too many people are just itching to complain about their lives to somebody...and I have learned the hard way, complain to the wrong person and it can bite you in the rear. I prefer to take my time forming a long and trusting friendship. So I suppose maybe I too seem "standofish". But that is only to protect myself from the "psychic vampires" that thrive off of drama.

Good luck to you all.

I don't live in Seattle yet, and that is exactly how my day to day routine is. You're exhausted by the time you get home and kids taken care of. Well, said

[westcoasttower]

seattle is not exactlly a freindly city its very diverse but is also culturaly stubborn deppending on ethnicy class and the way u present ur self you may be avoided.... i have lived in seattle for 8 years and must say thats just the way seattle works ppl just keep to them sleves most of the time

[Belinda Walker]

i must say being a rowdy old texas woman that I was somewhat taken aback by the reception I receved when I arrived in Seattle. My first job was in an office of 12 people and i remember thinking how it would be like "family." Yea. more a like a back stabbing family! No one person wanted any other person to get a step up. repsonsilbities were given to all staffers to compete by any means necessary and the one who could most of them done and turned in won the favor for the moment.

We had much the same thing in texas trying to impress them rednedddk boys that we were pretty enough to hang with. You get a thick skin and let em fall over you as you are walking out the gate cause you let therm know you don't need 'em and theyr'e going to prove you wrong. It works every time - and Yes in Seattle, too!

[findingmesomeday]

I also found this explanation pretty typical of day-to-day life in the Boston area. I think you'd find it anywhere.