Seattle Freeze is real, according to my BC instructor (buy, place to live)

[GoBlueInSeattle]

I don't buy the "there are a lot of Asians in Seattle, that's why the culture is more reserved" either. Its complete B.S. I grew up in PA, and have lived in Boston, Michigan, and San Francisco before moving to Seattle.

You know what the Bay Area has? Largest concentration of Asian and Asian-Americans in the country. So much so, that when I moved up here, I was literally "damn there's a lot of white people up here". And San Francisco, while far far more Asian than Seattle, is also a very outgoing, friendly, casual city as far as its local culture is concerned.

Personally, I think its a combination of the idiosyncracies of how local cultures have developed, their local shared history and the weather. For Seattle, that means a history as the last outpost in the deep woods before the emptiness of the Western Canada and the Yukon. That is, a city of migrant outbackers, loggers and miners as a waystation to the Big Empty and the Yukon Gold Rush. You can see how that probably attracted a lot of solo men for whom keeping things close to the vest was a daily habit. (in contrast to San Francisco, which although another, earlier Gold Rush town, was never really the town of the solo miners & prospectors so much as the financial/banking/trade center of the big mining owners - as well as the place to get your drinking & whoring on with your prospecting stash - it was pretty much a town for the hustle and the jive from early on).

Likewise, the weather plays its own role. In Seattle, the constant drizzle and grey seems to breed insular, quiet, slightly grumpy people. In Boston, a city where the seasons contrast sharply (long, cold winters, exuberant springs, HOT & humid summers, crisp Falls) - you have folks who are equal parts insularly cliqueish and clannish (also an Irish trait), as well as a bit aggressive and obnoxious. In San Francisco, a city of near constant, extremely mild weather, that is generally sunny (and interupted by some fog seasons), you have people who are generally fairly happy, outgoing, laidback, and possibly a bit mecurial. (as season where winters are mild, summers cold, and autumns hot tends to do that)

[Soldier of FORTRAN]

Any advice on negotiating the freeze?

It sounds like book clubs and left-wing activism would be good ways to meet people.

For context, I'll need to move in 4 - 6 months and Seattle's on top of my shortlist.

[GoBlueInSeattle]

I'd also add, that statements like "Asians are reserved" just betrays a fairly Eurocentric and racialized view. Anyone who has spent any time in Southeast and East Asian communities (which is generally what people mean when they say "Asian", even though Asian included the Indian subcontinent, the Central Asian turko-mongolian peoples and Russia), knows that there is a broad range of cultural personality types between Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, Filipino, Cambodian, etc. Anyone who has tried to push though a market in Chinatown in San Francisco to buy a bundle of bok choy or knows that "quiet" and "reserved" are NOT adjectives that should be applied.

[west seattle gal]

Sometimes communication here is purely passive, but not infrequently it can be chillingly passive-aggressive. Uptight Seattlelite (old cartoon) described this cultural trait perfectly. Portlandia also touches upon it.

[flyingsaucermom]

Originally Posted by GoBlueInSeattle

I'd also add, that statements like "Asians are reserved" just betrays a fairly Eurocentric and racialized view. Anyone who has spent any time in Southeast and East Asian communities (which is generally what people mean when they say "Asian", even though Asian included the Indian subcontinent, the Central Asian turko-mongolian peoples and Russia), knows that there is a broad range of cultural personality types between Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, Filipino, Cambodian, etc. Anyone who has tried to push though a market in Chinatown in San Francisco to buy a bundle of bok choy or knows that "quiet" and "reserved" are NOT adjectives that should be applied.

I wish I could be as articulate as this when I was in class. *sigh*

[west seattle gal]

Originally Posted by Soldier of FORTRAN

Any advice on negotiating the freeze?

It sounds like book clubs and left-wing activism would be good ways to meet people.

For context, I'll need to move in 4 - 6 months and Seattle's on top of my shortlist.

Don't interpret silence as rejection, smile often, work to keep the conversation going, never cancel on plans, don't take it personally if people cancel on your events at the last minute, remain persistent in making friendships, try to pin people down on dates without seeming pushy, and make your circle as wide as possible (ie. initiate conversations and friendships with everyone, at least a few will become your good friends). Stay busy, get involved in the community, know how to talk on shallow and deep levels. And to reemphasize, don't interpret anyone else's behavior as rejection -- we tend to get wrapped up in our own lives here. Stay cheerful, don't let the weather or irritable/insular behavior get to you. Ultimately everyone here wants closer friends.

And if you are pregnant or a brand-new mom, join a PEPS group. Those women remain friends for years!

My advice.

[Ruth4Truth]

"Try to pin people down on dates without seeming pushy"? It's normal to agree on a date when you're suggesting getting together with one or more people. That just says so much right there, that quote! Setting a date for an activity = pushy? Wow!

I agree completely with GoBlueInSeattle, re: San Francisco. I was going to post the same thing myself: Bay Area--full of Asians, friendly and outgoing culture. I've always felt that a radical difference in the weather accounted for the difference in personality types between the NW and CA.

[CarawayDJ]

Originally Posted by GoBlueInSeattle

I'd also add, that statements like "Asians are reserved" just betrays a fairly Eurocentric and racialized view. Anyone who has spent any time in Southeast and East Asian communities (which is generally what people mean when they say "Asian", even though Asian included the Indian subcontinent, the Central Asian turko-mongolian peoples and Russia), knows that there is a broad range of cultural personality types between Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, Filipino, Cambodian, etc. Anyone who has tried to push though a market in Chinatown in San Francisco to buy a bundle of bok choy or knows that "quiet" and "reserved" are NOT adjectives that should be applied.

Ain't that the truth. How the heck can anyone say Asians aren't friendly? Reserved? Only in the sense that they might not act boisterous, but definitely not in the "unfriendly" sense. It's also wrong for people to just lump all Asians together. It would be like lumping all white people together, or all black people. Asians represent numerous countries and cultures. I get a kick out of people that say Seattle or San Francisco isn't really diverse because it's just white people and Asians.

[ilkhd2]

I currently live in Bay Area, but also lived in Seattle/East Side and I tend to agree that Bay Area is way more friendlier and outgoing place, but not all of it - South Bay is quite different from Berkeley/Albany and San Francisco; especially North Berkeley and Albany felt much like Seattle, cold and passive-aggresive; San Francisco less so.

[HandsUpThumbsDown]

Originally Posted by west seattle gal

Don't interpret silence as rejection, smile often, work to keep the conversation going, never cancel on plans, don't take it personally if people cancel on your events at the last minute, remain persistent in making friendships, try to pin people down on dates without seeming pushy, and make your circle as wide as possible (ie. initiate conversations and friendships with everyone, at least a few will become your good friends). Stay busy, get involved in the community, know how to talk on shallow and deep levels. And to reemphasize, don't interpret anyone else's behavior as rejection -- we tend to get wrapped up in our own lives here. Stay cheerful, don't let the weather or irritable/insular behavior get to you. Ultimately everyone here wants closer friends.

And if you are pregnant or a brand-new mom, join a PEPS group. Those women remain friends for years!

My advice.

This is the best response here. It should get a sticky!! This is the pentiultimate response. /End all seattle freeze threads.

Yes, everyone, everywhere in the world wants to have friends, and you've just got to navigate the social context of where you are at. This post is a perfect guide for doing so.