Frustrating aspect about the social climate here (Seattle: school, pros and cons)

[Rcsligar]

I recently posted a fairly in depth synopsis about the pros and cons I've noticed since living here but this is a subject I'd like to delve into more. Yes I know people bring this up a lot, but I think I can provide a more logical viewpoint on it, and I don't intend to bore you with my emotional banter.
First of all, I do identify as introverted. I am a very non-abrasive, non-intrusive type which is one on the reasons I moved up here instead of going to the north east for school. The serene, laid back, live and let live ambience was certainly a big draw for me and I do wish to emphasize that there are many things I appreciate about the social climate here.
However, there is one aspect that has been frustrating me lately. A majority of the time when I find myself engaged in a social interaction, regardless of how receptive the person seems at the time, it seems like when I finish speaking to them/going to an even with them/etc, they tend to virtually break off contact or be very passive about communication. For instance, I went to a concert with someone the other night who was very laid back and pleasant to talk to, and assumed that he would be a good person to bring along to future shows. However, he stopped responding to texts of mine after the show and when I asked him if he was going to said artist the following night, his response was; "I made plans to go with some people from the Eastside," or something along those lines. He was certainly not rude or condescending in the way he said this but it just seemed a bit strange. I am not an intrusive person so I don't badger people if they don't reciprocate my efforts.
And then there is the element of dealing with people who are very absorbed in their clicks, who may also seem receptive but don't care to extend the olive branch outside of the one sided efforts you make. Although it seems custom that after you make an effort to initiate a relationship, an invitation to have coffee or dinner would be in order but things just tend to fizzle out. It really does seem like some people have the mentality that new people are to be treated with respect and friendliness, but there is no need to make them more than a casual acquaintance.
I am not an over the top social bug or a pub crawler or anything like that. I would just like to have an easier time breaking the ice because it does seem to a bit difficult. I just need a base of one or two good friends to be happy with my social life, so it's not really a big deal.
What's your experience with this? The city is great so far, and I have been enjoying myself quite a bit even though I have not broken in just yet. I don't intend for this thread to turn into people bashing the city, so please be respectful when presenting your opinion.

[mrslovettstailor]

It isn't just a Seattle thing, it is a Western Washington thing. It is not just the physical climate that is different here. Start joining some clubs that cater to your interests. Will you make friends right away? Honestly, probably not. But it will give you something to do with other people and eventually, as you are thrown together for events and the like, you will make some friends. Good luck

[limeyx]

I'd say it's more frustrating that your <enter> key seems to be broken/missing, that mass of text is far too hard to read.

[Gentoo]

I've been all up and down the west coast and I will say as I've said before, this is a west coast thing. It's also a very common complaint form people who move to anywhere on the west coast who are natives elsewhere. I'm currently in the San Diego area. People I have known for 15 years are every bit as flaky as that always have been. Out of all the plans I've made, only one has happened. text stopped being answered and a few people just seem to drop completely out of the space-time continuum. Or how about this, you make plans and a day before, "something comes up" or you just don't hear from them. It's not you and it's not just Washington. the Bay Area can be even worse than these two places. The west coast is just notoriously flaky.

[Rcsligar]

Originally Posted by Gentoo

I've been all up and down the west coast and I will say as I've said before, this is a west coast thing. It's also a very common complaint form people who move to anywhere on the west coast who are natives elsewhere. I'm currently in the San Diego area. People I have known for 15 years are every bit as flaky as that always have been. Out of all the plans I've made, only one has happened. text stopped being answered and a few people just seem to drop completely out of the space-time continuum. Or how about this, you make plans and a day before, "something comes up" or you just don't hear from them. It's not you and it's not just Washington. the Bay Area can be even worse than these two places. The west coast is just notoriously flaky.

Your synopsis is pretty spot on.
It's pretty funny actually, because the incidents you described have already happened to me at least five times and I've only been here two weeks. The space-time continuum analogy sums it up the best. One minute someone seems very receptive and friendly, and the next minute they have disappeared without a trace. I may be introverted but I am far from a flake and I always keep my plans. It's really quite strange how things play out here sometimes.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by Rcsligar

Your synopsis is pretty spot on.
It's pretty funny actually, because the incidents you described have already happened to me at least five times and I've only been here two weeks. The space-time continuum analogy sums it up the best. One minute someone seems very receptive and friendly, and the next minute they have disappeared without a trace. I may be introverted but I am far from a flake and I always keep my plans. It's really quite strange how things play out here sometimes.

I'm introverted too but I've experienced these sorts of situations all along the west coast. I've not lived in Los Angeles but from the people I've known from there, they seem to an exception to varying degrees. What I just described to you is exactly what has happened to me just in the last week in San Diego LOL. My point is, once you do make friends and you will, this behavior doesn't really go away.

[Rcsligar]

Originally Posted by Gentoo

I'm introverted too but I've experienced these sorts of situations all along the west coast. I've not lived in Los Angeles but from the people I've known from there, they seem to an exception to varying degrees. What I just described to you is exactly what has happened to me just in the last week in San Diego LOL

I could go into detail about my experiences in the limited time I've been here but I think you get the point lol.
Say, I remember you make electronic music. Have you been going to any shows here?

[Rcsligar]

Side note: If anyone would like someone to vent to I would be happy to grab a quick bite or coffee. I am trying to reach out to others who may be having a hard time adjusting here.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by Rcsligar

I could go into detail about my experiences in the limited time I've been here but I think you get the point lol.
Say, I remember you make electronic music. Have you been going to any shows here?

Unfortunately I'm not there anymore. Family emergencies and a few other things forced me to return to san Diego. Something I said I'd never do. I walked away from everything I had going in Washington so now, I gotta start all over again to get back there.

[branh0913]

People on the West Coast hang in really tight circles. They're very friendly, but it's kind of just a front. I wouldn't be worried about making too many friends out West. You'll eventually make a few, but don't expect to make many. I find that West Coast people and families more resemble Latin/African/Asian communities. They generally congregate in specific circles, and run in packs. This is very different than the more individualistic approach on the East Coast, where creating your own identity and standing outside of a circle is more emphasized. you'll find many people on the West Coast who are kind of stuck on staying on the West Coast too, and really don't like to explore, or entertain living other places. It's not uncommon to find West Coasters who have never been anywhere out East at all.

With that said, when you go to big events on the West Coast, you'll generally find people hanging onto their family and friends, and not mingling much. I would say people on the West Coast meet more through things like work and acitivities. The West Coast is more activity driven as a culture it seems, than the East Coast. The East Coast has a different vibe, of only engaging in activities for the sole purpose of meeting people.

LA may be different, as it's a bit more transplant heavy, and may have more cultural resemblence to major East Coast cities. Remember most major East Coast cities are heavily transplant cities. I find this is less true on the West Coast, though some cities on the West Coast are more transplant heavy than others. But I would say by and large, West Coast cities have a less visible transplant population than East Coast cities of comparable sizes