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Old 11-14-2014, 09:44 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,085 posts, read 107,127,293 times
Reputation: 115875

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kanhawk View Post
Let us know how that works out. I would be very skeptical of trying anything like that in Seattle, where most approaches by people on the street is done by creeps and vagrants.
This is exactly why more regular guys need to be doing it. In other parts of the country, it's normal. For some reason in Seattle, it's not.

 
Old 11-14-2014, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Durham
660 posts, read 1,001,745 times
Reputation: 521
The "men" talking about women in this thread are so creepy and 1950's to me -- I am glad I'm not a woman in Seattle!
 
Old 11-14-2014, 11:31 PM
 
Location: Nashville
3,533 posts, read 5,800,547 times
Reputation: 4708
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor46 View Post
The "men" talking about women in this thread are so creepy and 1950's to me -- I am glad I'm not a woman in Seattle!
The 50s were quite cool, actually..


1956 09 09 ReadyTeddyl HoundDog - YouTube
 
Old 11-15-2014, 12:02 AM
 
64 posts, read 110,493 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
This is exactly why more regular guys need to be doing it. In other parts of the country, it's normal. For some reason in Seattle, it's not.
It's genetic. In an unstructured setting I feel very shy. I am also of Scandinavian descent, and feel like I fit into the Seattle personality, if there is such a thing, better than I would like to admit.

While I was walking around, there was like three really good-looking girls and one in particular gave me a smile. This is normal and happens to me everywhere, but I am always too shy to talk to someone randomly like that. And I realized that girl was probably a much better chance than someone at a Meetup group because there's a 9/10 chance she's not a social butterfly that goes out every night. She probably curled up with Netflix tonight and went to sleep.

I don't go to Meetup groups JUST to meet girls. I went to one tonight and made a good biz connection by accident. But my thinking was I should try to establish myself in some various social circles, and that's actually the worst approach. A random stranger on the street is actually where I have a distinct advantage, because the odds are she's too shy to ever go out of her way to meet new people. If you go to Meetup groups or anything like that, you meet social butterflies.

I usually dress pretty nicely, and people come up to me all the time and ask me for directions, etc. I get female attention any time I go out in public, but I really don't know how to handle it. It makes me uncomfortable and weirded out. I hoped to avoid ever dealing with that, but now after laying it out I see why that scenario is advantageous to me. I really need to conquer that inhibition.
 
Old 11-15-2014, 12:31 AM
 
Location: Nashville
3,533 posts, read 5,800,547 times
Reputation: 4708
Quote:
Originally Posted by FleeingSeattle View Post
It's genetic. In an unstructured setting I feel very shy. I am also of Scandinavian descent, and feel like I fit into the Seattle personality, if there is such a thing, better than I would like to admit.

While I was walking around, there was like three really good-looking girls and one in particular gave me a smile. This is normal and happens to me everywhere, but I am always too shy to talk to someone randomly like that. And I realized that girl was probably a much better chance than someone at a Meetup group because there's a 9/10 chance she's not a social butterfly that goes out every night. She probably curled up with Netflix tonight and went to sleep.

I don't go to Meetup groups JUST to meet girls. I went to one tonight and made a good biz connection by accident. But my thinking was I should try to establish myself in some various social circles, and that's actually the worst approach. A random stranger on the street is actually where I have a distinct advantage, because the odds are she's too shy to ever go out of her way to meet new people. If you go to Meetup groups or anything like that, you meet social butterflies.

I usually dress pretty nicely, and people come up to me all the time and ask me for directions, etc. I get female attention any time I go out in public, but I really don't know how to handle it. It makes me uncomfortable and weirded out. I hoped to avoid ever dealing with that, but now after laying it out I see why that scenario is advantageous to me. I really need to conquer that inhibition.
Just put your ego and shyness aside and start going up to women and talking to them. 9 out of 10 of them will treat you like a creep, as many are just creeped out about men approaching them in general around here. All you need is one..

Hope you do well.. Give us a progress report.. If you haven't asked out at least 50 women by next week you are banned from this site. Consider it a City Data Assignment..
 
Old 11-15-2014, 12:43 AM
 
Location: Phoenix
29,905 posts, read 18,754,741 times
Reputation: 25869
Yeah there are a fair number of crazy feminine dominant types but far from all of the females...Seattle does tend to attract a certain type of female. Have you tried the eastside girls? I think like another posted, you might need to look in the mirror and ask yourself why you are getting those responses. Every guy has to weed through a large number of crazies to find the right one. See the crazy hot matrix on you-tube for help.
 
Old 11-15-2014, 09:13 AM
 
64 posts, read 110,493 times
Reputation: 80
Just to follow up on this idea, I talked to one of my ex-girlfriends who also recently moved to a new city, and she's kind of lonely. I recommended she go to Meetup groups or speed dating, but she doesn't want to do any of that. It occurred to me that if she and I were in the same city and didn't know each other, with the way I am doing things now and the way she is, we just would never meet. I bet there's a lot of good-looking girls who avoid bars, artificial social events, etc. because it's just too much stress and effort, which I can understand. Out of the girls I casually chat with around my neighborhood, I have never met a single person who was a member of any Meetup group.

I've also noticed that girls that are just walking around are better looking than the ones who show up to...anything. I think I'm limiting myself when I use any kind of "venue" as a crutch because I am dependent on who shows up, instead of just approaching who I want when I want.

One last thing is that almost everyone I meet at anything like that is a Washington native. Transplants generally don't go to things like that, for some reason.

Last edited by FleeingSeattle; 11-15-2014 at 09:27 AM..
 
Old 11-15-2014, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Durham
660 posts, read 1,001,745 times
Reputation: 521
Default More Than Physical

Virtually all of your posts dwell on how the "girls" look -- maybe you should change your priorities a bit? Not that looks are not important (attraction is important, of course, but it's also based on MORE than looks).

Personally, I think you first need to sort out your own issues first, hence I suggest a good therapist.


Quote:
Originally Posted by FleeingSeattle View Post
Just to follow up on this idea, I talked to one of my ex-girlfriends who also recently moved to a new city, and she's kind of lonely. I recommended she go to Meetup groups or speed dating, but she doesn't want to do any of that. It occurred to me that if she and I were in the same city and didn't know each other, with the way I am doing things now and the way she is, we just would never meet. I bet there's a lot of good-looking girls who avoid bars, artificial social events, etc. because it's just too much stress and effort, which I can understand. Out of the girls I casually chat with around my neighborhood, I have never met a single person who was a member of any Meetup group.

I've also noticed that girls that are just walking around are better looking than the ones who show up to...anything. I think I'm limiting myself when I use any kind of "venue" as a crutch because I am dependent on who shows up, instead of just approaching who I want when I want.

One last thing is that almost everyone I meet at anything like that is a Washington native. Transplants generally don't go to things like that, for some reason.
 
Old 11-15-2014, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Durham
660 posts, read 1,001,745 times
Reputation: 521
Default Agreed!

The 50's were great -- and so were the 20's, 60's and the 80's -- but it's 2014! Different time, different attitudes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by RotseCherut View Post
The 50s were quite cool, actually..


1956 09 09 ReadyTeddyl HoundDog - YouTube
 
Old 11-15-2014, 10:38 AM
 
4,483 posts, read 9,255,794 times
Reputation: 5769
You said you don't want to do online dating, but you may not have considered the advantages. Sites like eharmony can help you find someone who is interested in a relationship rather than a one-time thing. You will know upfront what the other person's hopes are.

You are meeting women/girls who are outgoing and probably nice-looking, and that's all you know about them. Why be surprised that a long-term relationship doesn't develop?
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