Seattle - Just another city (appointed, fit in, living in)

[Crazy Anglophile]

Reading some of these threads, I am reminded how many people are willing to sell everything they own to try it in Seattle. I wanted to share my experience over the last several months in Seattle to help those who are contemplating making such sacrifices to relocate here to get a sense of what they might encounter here. Of course, everyone should ultimately make up their own minds as we all have different goals, expectations, and experiences that shape our opinions.

My husband and I recently relocated up here from Tennessee with the belief that as a gay couple we would feel much more accepted here than in the South. We really couldn't have been more wrong.

I have lived most of my life in Tennessee, and never have I had the problems finding a job and interacting with people the way I have here. It is amazing how many unfortunate attitudes and behaviors I have run across since moving to this town. Some of the interviews I have had have been so ridiculous that I’ve wondered if I was on Candid Camera. For example, one lady I interviewed with told me that (I kid you not) - "I guess you're too old to lose the accent". Considering I spent most of my life in Tennessee, and my family is all from TN, TX, and MS, I must agree that I will likely always be stuck with a Southern accent; however I’ve always been told I have a more refined accent instead of a real twangy one. Another lady at a temp job I worked at for only two days was so rude and hateful to me that I walked away from there seriously doubting if I could ever work for these people. In my 40 years on this earth (and living in the South as an openly gay man!), never have I been made to feel so unwelcome.

The one person I thought I had made friends with disappeared for 5 months and did not return my emails, but then, lo-and-behold, she reaches out to me because her new job isn't working out for her. It was most likely I heard from her because she had noticed I am working at starting my own business. I was just amazed by her impertinence. Needless to say I decided not to reply to her since there appears to be an endless sea of other fair-weather people around here I can associate with instead.

We are going to try to stick it out a little longer and see how my business goes, but it is not because we like Seattle. It's because we love all of the other things around that are easy to visit (the mountains, the lovely islands, the forests, Victoria, BC, etc.). I have gone from loving Seattle and thinking it would be a great place to live, to hating this town, to now accepting that Seattle is really nothing but another big, crowded, dysfunctional (and very expensive!) city that many people live in only because it is where most of the job opportunities are.

I must add, to be fair, that I have met some very nice people here too, so certainly not everyone here is dreadful to interact with, but there are so many who are. I also acknowledge that there are nice and nasty people everywhere (including the South), but Seattle seems to have a higher proportion of arrogant, distant, and passive-aggressive people than most places.

The passive-aggressiveness here is a real problem, and their behavior here could get a fist in your face or worse in the South and East. I have no respect for passive-aggressive behavior, and to me it's a sign of weakness and an inferiority complex. There have been a couple people around here that I have had to put in their place, and the shocked look I have gotten is priceless. These people around here really should to learn to be prepared to be served what they dish out (and more) - especially when dealing with those of us from "back east" that refuse put up with that passive-aggressive non-sense.

In the end, moving here has made me see that:

1. It’s true - the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence (or country).
2. The South is not as ignorant as I had come to believe, and the Seattle area isn't as open, liberal, and gay-friendly as I had been led to believe.
3. The Emerald City is loaded with problems from poor urban planning to skyrocketing prices to a socially-retarded populace.

Hope this helps.

[amaiunmei]

Seattle is hardly the only place where a Southern accent can be perceived negatively.

When an Accent Gets in the Way of a Job - At Work - WSJ

[Crazy Anglophile]

Give it a rest. I lived in Michigan and New York. Traveled all over the country, Canada, Europe, South & Central America, and I have always been warmly received - accent and all! It is only you people that seem to be so snobbish and arrogant towards a Southern accent. Besides - accents give a region character, and your accents are just as bland as many of the personalities here.

[Seacove]

It sounds like Seattle is not the place for the OP. It happens. I don't think anyone has denied that Seattle is passive aggressive. The south likes to brag about their "bless your heart" stuff, well this is our thing and if it doesn't suit you, there are other places in the country. I find it funny that Seattle loves gays but isn't so crazy about southerners, weird but sort of funny. I'm guessing the OP would have a similar challenge in the Bay Area, Portland and maybe LA. What about Denver? Denver used to be the place all Texans moved to.

[Crazy Anglophile]

Denver is too cold.

Not liking Southerners is just another type of bigotry and ignorance, and proves my point that Seattle is just a bigoted (only in different ways) as the South.

[amaiunmei]

Originally Posted by Seacove

It sounds like Seattle is not the place for the OP. It happens. I don't think anyone has denied that Seattle is passive aggressive. The south likes to brag about their "bless your heart" stuff, well this is our thing and if it doesn't suit you, there are other places in the country.

Here here!

I L-O-V-E the culture up here! People are generally polite, maintain personal space, and won't get in your business. What's not to love?

[Seacove]

Originally Posted by Crazy Anglophile

Denver is too cold.

Not liking Southerners is just another type of bigotry and ignorance, and proves my point that Seattle is just a bigoted (only in different ways) as the South.

I think Seattle associates the South with conservatism, religious, Rick Perry-types, Bush was definitely not popular, anti-education (in a state that loves it), Sarah Palin winking next to Ted Cruz, etc. It's a stereotype and it may not be fair but it's sort of a west coast thing. But gay marriage passed by vote. Denver is not that cold, it's definitely getting warmer every year.

If you think dealing with Seattle passive aggression by being confrontational works, you're going to be disappointed. You may feel like you won, but Seattlites hate confrontation. I can't explain it any better than that.

[Seacove]

Originally Posted by amaiunmei

Here here!

I L-O-V-E the culture up here! People are generally polite, maintain personal space, and won't get in your business. What's not to love?

We took to Seattle instantly many years ago. I used to read the paper and laugh because for such a big city, it was sort of "small town" (and it really is). But I also know I wouldn't fit in the south.

[mrman78]

Originally Posted by Crazy Anglophile

Give it a rest. I lived in Michigan and New York. Traveled all over the country, Canada, Europe, South & Central America, and I have always been warmly received - accent and all! It is only you people that seem to be so snobbish and arrogant towards a Southern accent. Besides - accents give a region character, and your accents are just as bland as many of the personalities here.

And with that attitude you wonder why you are having problems being warmly received here?

Anyway, I moved here from Texas three years ago and had no problem getting a job, making friends and enjoying the city and region. I knew no one here when I moved. I did not move here for a job, but moved because I knew it was where I wanted to live. I quit my job in Houston and started over. I don't regret a thing. I'm originally from the UK, so I still have an accent but it's more a transatlantic mix now. I haven't had any issues.

Obviously, everyone's experiences are going to be different and your personality is also going to factor into this. It sounds like this is just not the right place for you, but please don't generalise and trash everyone living here and the entire city just because of your bad experience. Personally, having lived in Houston for 12 years, Seattle is like heaven in comparison.

[FrankSpencer]

Originally Posted by Crazy Anglophile

Denver is too cold.

Not liking Southerners is just another type of bigotry and ignorance, and proves my point that Seattle is just a bigoted (only in different ways) as the South.

And you signed up to CD just to post this little rant? I work with plenty of Southerners.

I sniff a troll ...