Seattle Social Advice (homes, move, bars)

[FleeingSeattle]

Just some thoughts, now that I've been away for a while and compared Seattle to other places:

Be outgoing, with many people. Often times people don't respond right away because they are accustomed to being ignored. Give people two chances and then ignore them. Specifically seek out friendships with guys from Texas, east coast, midwest, and California (except the bay area). If someone says they are from the PNW, auto-shun them unless they give you a good reason not to. (This can actually be fun, as they proudly announce they are native and you go "oh" and look away.)

As far as women go, the only thing that works for dating is daytime approaches. This works best in the summer around Green Lake, but can happen anywhere. Public transit is a great place for opportunities. Be very low-key so you can back out if you get a cold fish, without any real rejection. Your advantage here is that you're the only guy that will have the balls to approach them. Do not do online dating, Tinder, speed dating, singles groups, bars, or anything else with any structure. The moment you do this you are losing all your advantages because you just another shy nerd competing with thousands of shy nerds. Don't do hiking groups or sports unless those are just things you want to do. Once you put yourself into any kind of self-selecting situation you are at a disadvantage. Random parties and events can work as well.

Finally, don't try to impress a Seattle girl. Your job is a checklist item, it won't put you ahead anyone else. If she's into that, there's always a billionaire she can sleep with. Focus on how she feels and try to get her to talk about herself. There's lots of depressed lonely women in that city. They're really starving for love, but they're just too dense to see it, with their heads filled with television programming. If anyone flakes on you, call them on it and tell them you will not tolerate it. Once is too many times.

In conclusion, you've got to give, give, give, be an extrovert, expect nothing in return, and focus on people who return your energy. Be extremely selective about who you will repeatedly give that energy to and expect nothing.

These are probably good things to do anywhere, but in Seattle especially you have to be hyper-vigilant or you will get drained by all the "psychic"/emotional vampires.

[BATCAT]

When doing daytime approaches around Green Lake, what sort of camouflage do you use? And from what angle do you make your low-key approaches?

Also, when you do get a "cold fish" and have to bug out, do you generally just use a Zodiac (or other similar) boat for extraction by water across Green Lake? Seems like the best way I guess.

[atchn]

Originally Posted by BATCAT

When doing daytime approaches around Green Lake, what sort of camouflage do you use? And from what angle do you make your low-key approaches?

Also, when you do get a "cold fish" and have to bug out, do you generally just use a Zodiac (or other similar) boat for extraction by water across Green Lake? Seems like the best way I guess.

Awesome. You just made my day.

[elkotronics]

These are probably good things to do anywhere, but in Seattle especially you have to be hyper-vigilant or you will get drained by all the "psychic"/emotional vampires.

Emotional vampires come in two sexes, sometimes related to you, in the Pac. NW, just saying.

[FleeingSeattle]

The hardest part about Seattle is actually making male friends, in retrospect. Most of the happy, confident guys are married, and the single guys tend to be sort of squirrely and give off a strong "raised by single mom" vibe. That can make things difficult.

Note the obligatory serial killers jokes, because I dared to discuss heterosexual relationships.

It's pretty sad because it's like there is this liberal thought police that is always trying to make sure no one is happy. I knew a couple girls there that were in tears about the situation, but I was already too far gone at that point to be much help.

[BATCAT]

Originally Posted by FleeingSeattle

Note the obligatory serial killers jokes, because I dared to discuss heterosexual relationships.

.... in a super off-putting way. That's why the jokes.

[Seacove]

Advice brought to you by someone who apparently failed socially and left.

Originally Posted by BATCAT

.... in a super off-putting way. That's why the jokes.

So true.

[thedonwind]

Excellent advice

[homesinseattle]

My advice: stop looking at threads like this. Be yourself, be authentic, get outdoors, be happy, be of service, smile, be interested in others, put yourself in healthy places. You'll be fine.

[Seacove]

Originally Posted by homesinseattle

My advice: stop looking at threads like this. Be yourself, be authentic, get outdoors, be happy, be of service, smile, be interested in others, put yourself in healthy places. You'll be fine.

Exactly. If there weren't threads like this, I wouldn't know what a Seattle Freeze is - I just never saw it. I remember when New York had the reputation of every being aggressive and my experience was New Yorkers were exceedingly friendly. My theory is a lot of people idealize Seattle and move here alone. I could see how having high expectations and no one to share it with would be a challenge. We moved here decades ago, loved it immediately and found everyone great. People are going to have different experiences but if I were trying to fill a social calendar I would take classes and join groups that were involved in things I like to do and just let things flow naturally.