Why are Seatte/Puget Sound girls such flakes and so picky? - dating scene sucks here (Seattle: transplants, condos)

[homesinseattle]

Doesn't matter what gender or ethnicity you are, same rules apply. Cross ethnic dating/marriage out here is really no big deal, totally accepted. There are people for everyone, if you are a good catch. If you believe that there aren't, your prophecy will be fulfilled.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by SeattleSnowFlakes

Second, I face an uphill battle in terms of dating because I'm south Asian/East Indian ancestry. There is a lot of discrimination I face when doing online dating.
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Interesting that this should come up right now, because I was thinking about this issue yesterday; over the years, we've got a fair number of guys in your position.

Here's the thing, OP: while there undoubtedly are women out there who aren't interested in dating Indian guys (you'd think the people who set you up through church, etc., would have told the women), there are a fair number of women out there open to it, and who find the good-looking guys very attractive. Now, before you say, "Oh, sure, the good-looking guys!", believe us when we say that dating is challenging for anyone who is more average in appearance--a-n-y-o-n-e: women, white guys, short guys, everyone. It's just life. The more average-looking types have to work at it; develop fun or interesting personalities, look for venues that may emphasize personality over looks (OLD--nix. Group activities in the community--si!), and network (which you've been doing--good for you) and socialize.

So if women are rejecting you, it's not necessarily because you're of Indian heritage. I suspect this is what's behind your anger and resentment; on some level, you're assuming or suspecting that's what it's about. MOST PEOPLE struggle to find a partner. Nobody said it was easy! It may be easy for a small percentage of humanity, but the rest of us are down there in the trenches, just like you. Fact.

So lighten up a little. Develop a sense of humor, lightheartedness, fun. Get involved in the community in some way, to meet people that way. Be patient (what other choice do you have?). Don't take these things so personally. Sure it can be disappointing, but if you let it make you angry and bitter, the only one who will lose is you. Everyone has to learn to deal with those disappointments; you're far from alone.


Good luck!

[Herbie Chesnutt]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

believe us when we say that dating is challenging for anyone who is more average in appearance--a-n-y-o-n-e: women, white guys, short guys, everyone. It's just life. The more average-looking types have to work at it; develop fun or interesting personalities, look for venues that may emphasize personality over looks

Hear, hear. That's why Guitar Center sells a bajillion guitars a year. And Porsche/Mercedes/BMW sells a bajillion cars a year. And why there are a bajillion horrible short stories and poems written each year. And colleges are packed with students willing to take on a bajillion dollars of debt. That's why there are funny guys and gals who can make a room laugh and those serious guys and gals who know a lot about art, or finance, or astronomy, or gaming. Not only do they like it and they are good at it, but it exposes them to the opposite sex who shares the same passion.

I could go on, but you get my drift.

Look, EVERYONE has been there, even us good looking guys and gals ;-). NOBODY gets dates all the time and not every date leads to marriage and babies. To focus on that is the best way to fail. Just get good at being you and be happy being you without another person. The secure guy who is happy, stable, and even kind of indifferent the the whole "dating and marriage thang" is the sweet spot. That right there is the honey the bears are looking for.

Dude's putting too much pressure on the situation. Maybe don't do so many one-on-one "dates." Leverage group events. Concerts, theatre, shooting range, kill a bucket of balls, darts at the tavern over pitchers. Step away from the job interview mentality and have some fun!

Christ, I sound like my mother.

[branh0913]

Women in Seattle are undateable. If I were you I wouldn't waste my time. Get you a good rotation of about 4 or 5 of them, and dial them up when you have blue balls. That's all they're good for. Trust me on this one.

I've found in my dating life not every woman is worth your time. And your time is valuable. Take care of your biological needs when you need to, and just focus on making your money in Seattle. Any illusion that you'd have a meaningful dating life is an exercise in futility.

Seattle in all its glory is exactly like any random Midwestern town. Super insular population where everyone marries people they went to high school with and all of their friends are from grade school. Seattle only imports the most militant female Nazis from around the country. So the transient population isn't much better.

This goes against my better judgement because I hate these cities. But Atlanta, Dallas, or DC is far better for dating. Far more intelligent women and far more grounded and worldly.

[Rombus]

Originally Posted by CrazyDonkey

Well, in that case, both the gender and racial ratios are working against you. Seattle is about 70% Caucasian. Are you dating within the "South Asian/East Indian" community? Have you tried Bellevue?

The Eastside is a good idea. A walk through any park on a warm summer evening will reveal many people who come from India and environs surrounding it.

Heck, until they tore down Totem Lake Mall in Kirkland, there was a Ballywood theater there.

[Rombus]

Originally Posted by branh0913

Women in Seattle are undateable. If I were you I wouldn't waste my time. Get you a good rotation of about 4 or 5 of them, and dial them up when you have blue balls. That's all they're good for. Trust me on this one.

.

Exactly, what I would write if I wanted to reduce the competition.

[Herbie Chesnutt]

Originally Posted by Rombus

The Eastside is a good idea. A walk through any park on a warm summer evening will reveal many people who come from India and environs surrounding it.

Heck, until they tore down Totem Lake Mall in Kirkland, there was a Ballywood theater there.

They are tearing down the Totem Lake Mall? Boo! Just so long they don't touch the Lucky 7 Tavern up the road, we ok.

[Blondebaerde]

Originally Posted by Herbie Chesnutt

They are tearing down the Totem Lake Mall? Boo! Just so long they don't touch the Lucky 7 Tavern up the road, we ok.

...and it's 15 years overdue. The whole plaza has been a waste of land at least that long, back when there were ghetto stores and little else. After they closed the CompUSA (or whatever it was), last time I was there on a regular basis. They moved the pet shop in the last year, leaving only the Trader Joe's and I have no idea disposition on that in-particular.

No idea what they're putting up instead, if it's zoned commercial. Doesn't seem the worst location for condos to try and clean up Evergreen / Kingsgate anyway, considering the rest of Kirkland real estate is a gold mine.

[Herbie Chesnutt]

Originally Posted by Blondebaerde

...and it's 15 years overdue. The whole plaza has been a waste of land at least that long, back when there were ghetto stores and little else. After they closed the CompUSA (or whatever it was), last time I was there on a regular basis. They moved the pet shop in the last year, leaving only the Trader Joe's and I have no idea disposition on that in-particular.

No idea what they're putting up instead, if it's zoned commercial. Doesn't seem the worst location for condos to try and clean up Evergreen / Kingsgate anyway, considering the rest of Kirkland real estate is a gold mine.

I now your right.

I lived up the road from the malls back in the early 90s in apartments across from the QFC. I visited WA over the summer and met with old friends at the Lucky 7 up 124th where we used to hang out almost every night back in the day. Just hard to let go of old stuff. The mall was nasty back then and I never shopped there. I only know it from taking the exit a thousand times.

I guess they are putting in upscale shopping and condos. Sounds about right. Can't have enough Whole Foods and high rent apartments.

Next your going to tell me DaVinci's is gone too.

[MondoTime]

Originally Posted by SeattleSnowFlakes

Second, I face an uphill battle in terms of dating because I'm south Asian/East Indian ancestry. There is a lot of discrimination I face when doing online dating.

Your entire position is and will remain clueless.

Discrimination IS what 'dating' is all about... for EVeryone.

Your 'protected class' gets you nothing in open competition, nor should it.


You come across as somebody merely whining about what he thinks the system owes him, instead of somebody with any inclination to do it for himself.


No matter your ethnic background, women here with the same heritage do just fine here socially, so quit hiding behind race as an excuse and go out there and 'earn it'.