How do you socialize with your co-workers in Seattle? (Burlington: how much, university)

[flyingsaucermom]

My husband has worked as at the senior program/project manager and director levels for several of the high tech companies here. I would say afterwork activities have never been intrusive for our family. Maybe he goes out once or twice a month with a few of his besties (not all of which work for the same companies anymore) and that's it.

Nobody has ever doubted that he's a "team player" for not schmoozing at an after-hours dinner or cocktail function. He barely drinks at all and he loathes small talk. Especially about things of inconsequence. When he is engaged in a project he comes off as an eager and enthusiastic contributor and generally he's putting additional hours in each evening after dinner and during the hours of the weekend that aren't planned out well (that would be most). It's enough.

What he does do very frequently is to schedule lunch and coffee break meetings that double serve as networking opportunities. I think this is an excellent strategy for several reasons: 1) Very time-limited so it reduces the obnoxious chit-chat component to zilch. 2) It's protects the important hours spent with family after work 3) It's cheaper... we're striving for early financial independence and I try to keep him limited to under $100 (ideally $75) in food costs outside of the home each month.

[eugene_b]

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate them a lot! Just to clarify, in case I gave a wrong vibe - I LOVE people and getting to know them. I know multiple languages and have explored a good portion of this planet, meeting many amazing people along the way, including my wife. However, these 3 years in NYC have been hard on me to the point where I started doubting whether the problem is with me. I am glad Seattle works differently and that I am not expected to spend all my remaining free time at rooftop cocktail parties (that at times go into midnight) "bonding" and "opening up" with my coworkers to be perceived as a team player and not a loner. Both my wife and I can't wait to be done with this adventure and be on our way to Emerald city. I am literally counting the remaining days to my closest RSU release I want to take and then be done with it all.

[homesinseattle]

Eugene, you'll be fine and find your tribe out here. I'm always intrigued when someone says they have explored a good deal of the planet, that's a phrase that isn't thrown around lightly. I like you already. Seattleites love off the grid travel, it is a favorite topic of conversation. For the record, some of my more bizarre solo walkabout trips have been smuggling myself in under a tarp in the back of a pickup to pass a government checkpoint, then 5 hours in a dugout canoe with 4 indigenous people I met in a market in Coca next to the Napo River and living alone for a week with the Waorani tribe in the Ecuadorian Amazon then again 10 hours in a dugout down the Sambu River, arriving late in day in the dark to bewildered villagers, wooing them with my 4th grade Spanish, and living for 10 days with the Embera Tribe of the Darien Jungle on the Colombia-Panama border, hitchhiking Somaliland to see 7000 year old cave art of Las Geel and swimming in Berbera on perfect deserted beaches of the Gulf of Aden, sneaking into South Sudan near the Western Ethiopia border in Gambela, taking little chicken buses all day from crazy, fabulous Dhaka to Northern Bangladesh near Haluaghat and walking across a remote border (first American to do it) into a Garo ethnic tribal festival called Wangala 100 Drums in Meghalaya-NE India, trekking forgotten ancient Buddhist villages in the Mustang area of North Central Nepal and seeing giant anteaters and playing soccer in the bizarre and amazing Rumpununi savannah indigenous areas of Southern Guyana close to Lethem near the Brazil border, being surrounded by extremely rare and beautiful silky sifaka pure white lemurs at 6,000 feet elevation after hiking 3 days through intense humidity in the stunning tropical jungles of Marojejy Park in Eastern Madagascar. I'm off this November to vagabond in Cameroon West Africa for a month, starting near the Nigeria border. My favorite trips would be other's nightmares . I have more, let's have a single malt or cold beer sometime after you get here. Safe travels, my friend.

[jakebarnes]

Probably depends on the workplace. Most places I've worked have something structured a couple times a year (baseball game, etc.) and then people on their own have happy hours. Every where i've worked it's not a problem to decline.

[cmswazey]

Originally Posted by thatguy950

How do you socialize with coworkers in Seattle? Simple, leave Seattle for a better place, srs

How odd. Many of my friends are former coworkers.

[eugene_b]

@homesinseattle Thanks for the warm words! Those adventures sound absolutely amazing! I don't have anything of that magnitude but do have my own share of random adventures too. Stay safe on your trips and bring back home more stories and experiences!

Can't wait to see Seattle and hopefully settle down there with my wife and find home. My wife also travelled a fair share of the world and we are really excited at the prospects of settling down finally.

[homesinseattle]

My pleasure Eugene. No need to compare, a good trip is a good trip, you know? Here's my little travel blog site if you want a few laughs: https://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/vinceinseattle/

My sis and bro in law live 82nd and CPW on the Upper West Side, great to have a convenient pad when we visit NYC. Seems like a lot of New Yorkers and people who have lived there are coming out to Seattle these days. What part of "The City" do you live now?

[RotseCherut]

My theory is if you have to ask how to socialize with people, you have already failed.. This is not rocket science. You are humans, they are humans.. Just because we are paid to be cyborgs and machines doesn't mean we don't have souls. If socializing is important at your work, then do what you can do to be social. This is the Pacific Northwest, ask the guys out for a BBQ, hike around a lake or be like many other working class Joes and have a beer at one of Seattle's one breweries. If you have to be the one to make the invites, then do it and don't feel shy, even if everyone says no. By you being this way, you will leave a lasting impression on your peers and superiors as they can see you are hospitable, social and get out of your comfort zone to interact with people. That is a great asset in a business environment and will help you move up the ladder if you ever desire management or other type of positions, especially when these skills are coupled with your technical skills.

Sheesh.. Why do humans have interpersonal interactions have to be so complex in the IT world? We are a bunch of introverts who try to act as if we are not. I know I have had a lot of difficulty networking with other software people in Seattle because people are so paranoid and afraid of being like other normal humans who get together, chit-chat , socialize. I understand the demands of software jobs are daunting, but not so much more than many other engineering jobs. However, other jobs force you to socialize more on day-to-day activities and it turns makes many software people lazy when it comes to interacting with other people. There are some extroverted and social software people like, but I tend to be the minority. However, it doesn't have to be that way. I also find Seattle's tech scene to be one of the most competitive, insular and anti-social. This is not promoting what I consider a healthy environment. Another issue is that a good chunk of Seattle's software market are H1Bs who tend to avoid any communication with people who are not from their country's. Once again, this creates more problems in a work environment where you start having an "US vs THEM" mentality.

People who just go home and never meet any other people besides their immediate family will also generate very weird and obscure personality disorders in my opinion. Many people suffer from this weird, anti-social and insular environment which is neither healthy for themselves or for society as a whole. PEople do need a few genuine friends. If you want a healthy work environment you should at least be "friendly" with the people you work with or else you become soulless cyborgs and it will diminish the efficiency of your development teams and other staff.

[IcomeInPeaceDolphLundgren]

People spend more time with their co-workers than they do with their own family.

[mhays25]

Seattle tends to be more beer and maybe wine, not cocktails. And shared activities can be of the active variety like bicycling or volunteering.