New to Seattle, love the place, some bad (Asian) Indian apples (Bellevue: apartment, how much)

[vw2005]

We are new to Seattle having moved here from the N. VA area. Love the place and the job. However, I have found Asian Indians here very racist and rude. I am black. My wife is from India (east Indian as some folks would say). I hate it when at Bellevue and Redmond scores of Asian Indians stare at us and when we make eye contact and say hello, they will look away. We stay in an apartment where there are many families from India and we have found practically most Asian Indians very unfriendly. No such issues with people from other races or from the Washington area. Come on guys, in today's day and time, is a mixed race couple that rare? By the way, what is it about social skills? Don't people in India say hello? I can't believe one of the big employers here would hire folks without rudimentary social grace.

Overall Seattle is a cool place. Don't want to think iof the winter months

[orangeblossom]

I'm sorry, thats weird. I do have half Indian friends and friends (white) married to Indians and there's no problem. I'm a POC and was at a yard sale:

me." how much for these black Barbie babies?"
Indian person. " 50 cents, $1.00 if they were white "

I was a little shocked,but right then, I got the impression that they don't socialize much with white people,and they felt comfortable telling me that little snippet.

There is a thread somewhere about Indians in Edison NJ not letting their kids play with non Indians. My aunt lives there and there is a huge community of Indians and my aunt says from her observation,they tend to stay with other Indians.

Well thats my two cents. Sorry you are getting the rude looks though. Yeah winter is awful here. Oh well under the sun box we go!

[jenlion]

Originally Posted by vw2005

I can't believe one of the big employers here would hire folks without rudimentary social grace.

Hahaha.... Microsoft is almost DEFINED by hiring people without rudimentary social grace!! While there's non-techies to run the non-tech stuff, the bulk of the employees are engineering types. And if you grew up in the US, and you're an engineer, odds are pretty decent that you're nerdy. And if you're nerdy, odds are good that you lack some social skills others take for granted. (I'm saying "odds". Of course it's not always true. Just saying).

Add that to the fact that they hire from all over the world. Lots of people from India, where one set of things is going to be expected socially. Lots from China, with different social norms. And then lots from all kinds of random corners of the world: if the country produces technical and capable people, chances are some of them work for Microsoft! So, while it might be perfectly normal to stand inches from someone during a conversation in China, here it's considered very rude. Given the number of religions and cultures represented around here, someone's probably getting offended every minute. I mean, how rude would it seem to an observant Muslim if someone kept offering you beer midday during Ramadan? But midday beers aren't uncommon at MS.

Personally, I'd expect very little of people and try to let the weirdness roll off your back. No matter WHAT you do some people are going to think it's nutty. I do hope that your wife doesn't have a hard time making friends because of it. But the good news is that if the East Indians don't like her because she didn't marry another east Indian, then there's LOTS of other people to choose from!

[MPOLLO]

vw2005,

I'm guessing you have not traveled to India yet?

My partner is East Indian, and yes, we are a gay, multi-racial couple, as I am Caucasian. So, we have even one more taboo on you...

Anyway, I wouldn't take it that personally the treatment you and your wife seem to receive from the local East Indian population. I've traveled to India many times and have spent months of my life there. I have been able to see firsthand the daily interactions between people in India. The Indian society is very different from our own. If you were in India you would see that many times people do not even greet each other. Hello and thank you are not nearly as common in India as they are here in the US. It appears that many people in India act as if they were suspicious of each as well.

Do also keep in mind that some of the Indian's living here in the US are here alone and find it overwhelming to adapt and interact with the non-Indian population. I have had similar experiences myself being in India, and I was only alone for a few hours during the day while my partner was at work. You and your wife my want to try posting some platonic announcements for friendship and what not on something like Craigslist. I sometimes feel that the technology industry and the Bellevue/Redmond area run in circles that are too close anyway, that may be especially true for the East Indian community over there too. Craiglist, along with participating in other social activities in and around the Seattle metro area will give you exposure to such a large variety of different people, people to whom your choice of partners is much less of an issue.

Best of luck, and welcome to Washington.

[Zippy7fo]

I'm not dawging you brah but you had to know that you would face resentment for marrying a east indian woman because of culture and race. You need to visit India and you'll understand that they too will have racist attitudes. You'll notice all the political, corporate, and movie-singers are all light skinned. They also treat Africans like crap who come over to work. Unfortunately British colonialism passed on the same western social pathologies that Aile America as well.




Your story reminds me of that movie with denzel washington called Mississippi Masala. If you haven't seen it, I recommend you do.

[sogod]

Originally Posted by Zippy7fo

Unfortunately British colonialism passed on the same western social pathologies that Aile America as well.

I doubt that. Racism is not a western, and not a recent, invention.

[savvyd20]

[quote=vw2005;4270151]We are new to Seattle having moved here from the N. VA area. Love the place and the job. However, I have found Asian Indians here very racist and rude. I am black. My wife is from India (east Indian as some folks would say). I hate it when at Bellevue and Redmond scores of Asian Indians stare at us and when we make eye contact and say hello, they will look away. We stay in an apartment where there are many families from India and we have found practically most Asian Indians very unfriendly. No such issues with people from other races or from the Washington area. Come on guys, in today's day and time, is a mixed race couple that rare? By the way, what is it about social skills? Don't people in India say hello? I can't believe one of the big employers here would hire folks without rudimentary social grace.

Overall Seattle is a cool place. Don't want to think iof the winter months

I am sorry that you have a generalized opinion of all Asian Indians. We are Indians and grew up in a big city back home in India where we greeted and said hi to other people in our neigborhood. We are always happy to say hello and talk to people but not all Asian Indians are very open minded.

We have lived in the US for many years but you have to know that people never accept us or want to be friends with us even though we do not have any problems. I live in a typically white neighborhood here in Clearwater, Florida where our neighbors do not want anything to do with us. Do we feel accepted? No, we don't. As far as I know, both my husband and I are very social people and would like to know people of other races. So, you must understand that when we go through such a painful experience of not being accepted there is an issue of trust. So, Asian Indians will stick to their own community and socialize within that community. They like their own comfort zone.

Multi racial marriages are not very common in India. I am not surprised that you get stared at by some Indians who are still narrow minded about such issues. Since your wife is an Asian Indian you may get that quizzical look from Asian Indians.

I just want you to know that all Indians are not unfriendly and unsociable. So do not classify us bad apples.

By the way, we will be moving to Seattle area in Sept 2008 and look forward to having a good social life out there.

[Zippy7fo]

Originally Posted by sogod

I doubt that. Racism is not a western, and not a recent, invention.

Is this based on your gut feeling or actual facts?????????

[NumberPlate]

Like some one said earlier in this post not all Indian people would be bad. But is there any mechanism to find out who is rude or who is good? So I would generally just plain ignore them. Dont give a try to smile, greet and talk to them until otherwise they come talk to you. Try to find friends somewhere else.

[savvyd20]

What exactly do you mean by "East Indians"? Are you referring to people from places like Calcutta, Assam (east of India)? I am from the western part of India. So would you refer to me as a West Indian?