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Don't despair! I find it really hard to believe that in this day and age parents would reject their child that way because he/she's gay, but there is help for you.
The Bridge of Central Mass - 508-631-2699, or 508=755-0333. They have a support group and safe homes for gay teens. Here's their website. They may be able to help you. You are not alone. There are probably foster homes that they can connect you with where you can live until you finish high school, and maybe even for help so that you can attend college or get job training right out of high school.
Many people are on their own at age 18. It's not that unique.
You can go the college route. Enroll in the cheapest, local college that offers dorms. Get all of the free Pell, state and local grant money to pay for it. If you stay in the dorms, that's housing for at least 8 months of the year. During breaks, bunks with friends and offer to pay them a little something for room an board. While you're in school, work a job with as many hours as possible and save your money.
Alternately, get a full time job and do school part time or online. Get a small room in someone's home. There are safe people still looking or boarders.
Your $2k is a lot more money I had when my family told me they would no longer offer any financial support.
(all information is based on Massachusetts in Worcester)
I really hate all the people that say it won't be hard to make it on their own at 18. Yes it would have been easy in the 70s, 80s or 90s to move out on your own. However nowadays the economy is terrible and it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to graduate high and live by yourself. The minimum wage is 8.00, so working 40 hours a week (8 hours a day) you would make $1280 a month. The cheapest apartment I would find is $635 a month (1 bedroom, in the middle of the "ghetto", but no seriously there is multiple crack houses in the area and the crime rate is not great), however its hard to get an apartment when you are 18 (no credit, not a lot of saved assets, no previous renting experience) so people will be hesitant to rent to you. Also you have to pay for food, utilities, transportation, school supplies, clothes, ect). So I would have around 280 dollars left over from each month.
Also I go to school in Holden (town next to Worcester) and my birthday is in December so I would need to find a way to get from my apartment to school in Holden for 6 months, snow during the winter is terrible so traveling by foot or bike (5 miles away and public busing does not go that way) would be very difficult.
Here would be my schedule:
School starts at 7:30 So I would have to wake up at 6:00 eat breakfast and get ready
Leave at 6:30am to bike to school by 7:30am (roads are snowy and icy all winter, it would take about an hour to get there)
Bike home at 2:10pm when school ends
Get home at 3:10pm and get read for my job.
Leave for my job at 3:15pm
Arrive at my job at 3:35pm (Worcester has a lot of urban sprawl so I doubt I could find a job right next to my apartment).
Work until 11:35pm (8 hour shift)
Get home at 12:05 (takes longer because its darker and the street lights don't work)
Get ready for bed and fall asleep at 12:10.
This schedule gives me no time for homework and I am not getting nearly enough sleep to maintain for more than a few weeks.
My only options would be:
to get a roommate, cut down to working 20 hours a week and have him pay the other half. Since its a one bedroom I might not be able to do that because of housing code violation. Also it would be hard to find a reliable roommate with my incredibly busy schedule.
OR
Alternatively I could work 20 hours a week ($640 a month), dip into my savings to pay for utilities, and shoplift the food and things I need from stores, this would give me 8 hours of sleep a night and 6 hours a week to do homework. Then I could work full time after graduating high school.
This is all hypothetical, well until December 30th (My birthday) then my parents are going to kick me out because I'll be 18 and my parents hate me because I am gay. So yah luckily I have been preparing for this day for a while (I have $2130 saved from working full time during the summers). But its going to be very hard and anyone who said they did it when they were kids really didn't have it that hard. A dollar use to go a lot farther than it does now and minimum wage has definitely not changed proportionally to inflation, also there were a lot more jobs.
With a roommate, you'd get a 2BR. 2BR is NOT a lot more expensive than 1BR...maybe 100 - 150 more a month. When you're splitting expenses two ways, this is not bad. However, you want to be sure you get someone you can really trust, because, if your roomie skips out and leaves you holding the bag, you're in for a world of trouble.
Why MUST you have an apartment? How about starting out in a boarding house, renting a room? That is where I started out. In 1995, I paid $65 a week (or $240 a month - you got a break if you paid a whole month at once) for a room. I had a fridge, a microwave, a TV, a bed, a sofa, and a closet for my clothes. I had my own lock on my door, and I had a common bathroom/shower down the hall. It wasn't glamorous, no, but it was a roof over my head, and the neighborhood was not TOO bad.
This also gave me renting experience when I was ready and able to move out, move up and move on to that first apartment.
I absolutely do not recommend shoplifting anything. If you get caught, you're going to have a permanent record - and just try getting a job or an apartment THEN. You're not a kid anymore, they don't just let you go with a slap on the wrist, and they don't expunge your record anymore, like they did for you when you were under 18.
Now you mention you are gay. This can work to your advantage as there are many helpful organizations within the gay community...have you networked any? I recommend it. If nothing else, you can find a trustworthy gay friend who could be that roomie for you, and other possible resources, including possible jobs, maybe cheaper housing...the gay community in my area has always been very resourceful, and, if that experience is common throughout gay communities, you will find some help there. My church works regularly with many community groups, including those who serve GLBT youth.
And there is another possible resource for you. Are you a member of a church? I know, you're gay, so it sounds silly to ask, right? Go to the Unitarian Universalist church. You will be welcomed, affirmed, and respected for who you are, your being gay isn't going to matter to them. And perhaps they, too, can help connect you to resources.
Good luck.
P.S. if your roomie happens to be your lover, you could probably get a 1 BR apartment, by the way. Most places in New England have anti-discrimination laws in place.
As a f a 'll back go talk to a Air Force recruiter. Take the ASVAB test. Not all jobs in the military are combat jobs. Especially with the air force. If you do get kicked out or know for sure go to your city and see what social programs are available. Once you get on the street with no help it will be hard to rebound. Take the military option serious. Good luck.
Don't despair! I find it really hard to believe that in this day and age parents would reject their child that way because he/she's gay, but there is help for you.
The Bridge of Central Mass - 508-631-2699, or 508=755-0333. They have a support group and safe homes for gay teens. Here's their website. They may be able to help you. You are not alone. There are probably foster homes that they can connect you with where you can live until you finish high school, and maybe even for help so that you can attend college or get job training right out of high school.
This seems like a good place to at least check out. You have to graduate from high school and then attend some sort of technical school or college. Don't do the shoplifting number, you don't need a police record at your age.
Also, I don't see how you will be able to rent an apartment, as you said your age, no credit and apparently no one to sign for you. Plus you don't need to live in the ghetto coming home at the late hours could be dangerous.
I find it difficult to believe your parents are throwing you out. That is truly sad and I am sorry this is happening to you. I may not agree with everything my children do and I disagree with them often but I love them unconditionally.
Call or visit that Safe Homes of Central Mass, it appears to be worth a visit. I hope everything works out for you.
You had a ton of sympathy from me before you spoke about shoplifting as if it were an actual option for your budget. I certainly hope you meant that facetiously! I've worked a lot of retail and shoplifting is almost always prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law if committed by an adult. And if it's committed by someone under the age of 18, the parents are brought in. You do NOT want to start out your adult existence with a criminal record, even if it's a misdemeanor.
I absolutely think you should break away from your parents if they have such disrespect for your life. You didn't ask to be gay and I have no tolerance for people who discriminate in this way, especially family members. It will be hard, but if it were me, I would want to show them I didn't need them to make my way.
I would definitely take parentologist's advice and seek counsel from an organization set up to help people in your position. If attending school in Holden is a hardship, could you seek your living arrangements there? A room someone's home might be the way to go because, of course, it will be hard for you to rent your own apartment (it was in he 1980s, too). Have you checked out Craigslist? Or hook up with someone seeking a roommate for an apartment they already have. Just make sure the landlord knows you are there and you are getting credit for your share of the rent so you can establish a credit history. I had a boyfriend whose parents kicked him out when he was 18 and he rented a motel room by the week. It wasn't glamorous, but he ended up doing odd jobs around the place for money taken off his rent.
When you're looking for job, keep in mind that restaurant jobs usually include some free food. Also, some retail jobs pay more than minimum wage. I made more than $10 an hour working for Macy's ten years ago. If you are legally separated from your parents, this will enable you to get better financial aid at any state-related college or university. You might be eligible for a good work/study program. They will have an admissions office person who will be knowledgeable about what options are available to you; you aren't the first person whose parents refused to support them after they turned 18.
When I was in graduate school I had a roommate who separated from her father and her stereotypically evil stepmother when she was 18. She ended up getting a PhD with no help from them. It took her years and she worked as a maid in a Hilton hotel the entire time, but because she really applied herself and got good grades, she had lots of teachers who understood her financial neediness and helped her get everything she was legally entitled to, to make her way in the world.
Whatever you do, don't go looking for help in bars and stay away from people who are doing drugs. You will have a tough row to hoe and you need your wits about you. Join some gay rights groups to make strong positive relationships with people who can guide you. If you can get to Framingham, there are two gay rights groups there you might contact: http://gayrights.meetup.com/cities/us/ma/worcester
Massachusetts is a liberal state with far more gay openness than a lot of other places, so while your situation is serious, it could be worse. Above all, stay in school, consider the military if you can handle it (as Cattovegas pointed out, there are plenty of non-combat jobs in the military and it's no longer illegal to be gay there), and ASK FOR HELP when you need it. There ARE people out there who are willing to support people in your unenviable position, especially once they see you are doing your best to help yourself (which you seem to be given that you have saved money).
Best of luck to you. Let us know how you are doing.
1) break the law, go to jail, three hots and a cot
2) join the military, three hots and cot, you also could die
Join the military, square yourself away, get an education and see the world.
Life is short, you can get killed walking into any corner store at the wrong time.
As a f a 'll back go talk to a Air Force recruiter. Take the ASVAB test. Not all jobs in the military are combat jobs. Especially with the air force. If you do get kicked out or know for sure go to your city and see what social programs are available. Once you get on the street with no help it will be hard to rebound. Take the military option serious. Good luck.
Yeah, because being gay in the military is SUCH a lark. Yeah, it might be LEGAL to be gay in the military, but the culture hasn't changed all that much.
You really want a better option, consider the Peace Corps.
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