How do you handle strangers that want to talk and touch you while you are out shopping? (used, problem)

[oldhousegirl]

Depending on my mood, I will usually join in for light chatter in line or whatever. But yesterday at the library took me for a loop. I was minding my own business in the front of the library in a relatively open area looking at the new arrivals. A man, maybe in his mid to late fifties practically ran up to me. I noticed him a bit too late, as I was standing at the shelf reading the dust jacket of a book. He was clean, neatly dressed, but something was a bit off about him. This all happened so quickly. He stood close to me, smiling, laughing and stage whispered in a joking manner, "The librarian said you can't take out any books today". My instincts told me that this man was likely harmless, but still. As he was siddling up to me, to "tell what the librarian said", he then put his arm around my waist. I was stunned.

This is not the first time that strangers have touched me while out shopping!! How do others handle this? I value my personal space!! I know I probably could have said something angry to him, but I was taken off guard. I didn't want to turn it into a scene. As I type this out, I think that I am just puzzled by this. Why would he do that? I told my husband about it and he too was puzzled. Weird situation. I ended up not saying a word and let him talk. I then looked at him, laughed and said, "I gotcha, I've got your number" in a very calm, smiling, low toned voice, and he left just as quickly as he ran over to me.

[stan4]

That's not what I thought you meant by touching.
I thought you meant tapping on the shoulder to get attention or a hand on the arm to say, "Hey, you dropped your wallet."

That is just creepy.

Yes, I talk to all sorts of people when I'm out and about. It may be a cultural thing. We don't spend much time together in rooms just sitting there quietly.

[oldhousegirl]

^^^Funny!! Yeah, I wouldn't think you or I would spend quiet time chatting with a stranger Oh wait, or do you mean that the other way around.

[Timm]

Yeah, that's crossing a line. I'd say go ahead and create a scene. Hopefully the scene will get his hands off you, and might just possibly make him think twice before trying it again with someone else.

[English Dave]

This would never happen in England.......we don't ever touch each other!!!

[pumpkin5]

Obviously he was either drinking or had some kind of mental problem. That is not normal behavior. There used to be a man at our Church who was mentally disabled and he always wanted to hold my hand sometimes very tight, I would just remove/pry his hand away as gentle as possible while speaking quietly to him. It was always me and another woman he did this too, not sure why it was just us two but it was uncomfortable.

[Ohiogirl81]

Ummmm ...

[DubbleT]

I'm also thinking just a bit simpleminded perhaps, such an odd thing to do. In any event maybe a nice firm "please don't, that makes me uncomfortable" would get the message across without creating a scene?

[jtur88]

In Singapore that is a serious criminal offense. It called "outragie of modesty". People regularly get sent to jail for that in Singapore, India, or several other south Asian countries.


Section 354 of India's Ranbir Panel Code says whoever assaults or uses criminal force against any woman, intending to outrage or knowing it to be likely thereby outrage her modesty. The punishment for the crime is Imprisonment for two years, or fine, or both. Men are sometimes accused of inappropriately touching other people, often women, resulting in their prosecution and punishment under this law.

[oldhousegirl]

^^^Wow. That's something. Who knows about the man. He didn't seem either drunk or cognitively slower. Maybe just REALLY poor social skills , loneliness, I looked like someone who wouldn't smack him... who knows.