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Old 07-14-2009, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Downtown Orlando, FL
573 posts, read 1,498,034 times
Reputation: 545

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Hey everyone,

Thought I would share my recent complaint letters with you guys. All in good fun. Tah tah!

July 3, 2009


Procter and Gamble
One Procter and Gamble Plaza
Cincinnati, OH 45202

RE: Pringles EXTREME Screamin’ Dill Pickle potato crisps


To Whom It May Concern:


I am writing today to tell you of my recent experience with one of your products, Pringles EXTREME Screamin’ Dill Pickle potato crisps.


While I normally enjoy all Pringles flavors, I was certainly intrigued by the dill flavor. I know in recent years potato chip companies have been branching out to the more “trendy” flavors, and was happy to see that Pringles followed suit. Imagine my delight when I realized that not only did Pringles have a dill flavored chip, but an EXTREME dill flavored chip. I raced home in anticipation.

Now before I continue, I’d like to provide the definitions of the word “extreme” so that I can be certain we are on the same page here. According to Webster’s Dictionary:


Being in or attaining the greatest or highest degree; very intense: extreme pleasure; extreme pain.
Extending far beyond the norm: an extreme conservative.
Of the greatest severity; drastic: took extreme measures to conserve fuel.

There were also various other definitions that pertain to biology and sports, but I really didn’t feel those definitions were warranted here. In any event, I understood the word “extreme” to mean very intense, as defined above. I’d also like to point out that the chips are not just labeled “extreme,” but EXTREME, in all capital letters with neon outlines. Capital letters and, most would agree, anything neon, is pretty extreme, so I was expecting at least a triple dose of some form of extremity.

Imagine my EXTREME disappointment when I tore open the “flavor seal” and shoved the first crisp in my mouth. The crisps were flavored dill, and for that I was thankful. But at no time did I feel that the dill flavor was “EXTREME”. It wasn’t even that strong, and I would venture to say that the crisp was merely “flavored”. It wasn’t weak, mind you, but at no time did I feel that it was extreme. I wasn’t expecting miracles….I’m not an unreasonable person. I didn’t think it would taste like I was biting into a pickle, but I didn’t feel any EXTREME impact.


I have outlined a graph below so that you can understand where I am coming from. The point to the far left would indicate a weak flavor, and the point to the far right would indicate EXTREME:


ß------------------------------XXX------------------------------------------------------------------------à

No flavor Somewhat flavored Tastes like a pickle EXTREME

As you can clearly see, these dill crisps were just merely somewhat flavored.

I am not writing to ask for my money back, for coupons, or even to complain about the overall satisfaction with the crisp. I happened to enjoy them, but I have a feeling that I would have enjoyed them at a much higher level if they were, in fact, EXTREME.

I am writing to ask of you: Why on God’s green Earth would you label your crisps “EXTREME” when you know for a fact that they are not? In normal circumstances I would demand the names and phone numbers of those taste testers that did in fact lead your company to believe that these crisps were EXTREME, but I know privacy laws dictate that you do not hand over this information. I am merely requesting an answer to the following questions:

1. Why are your dill chips labeled EXTREME, when they are clearly not? (please see graph above).

2. If you stand by your original labeling, what facts or evidence are you basing this supposed EXTREME flavoring on? I would like to see the data.

I believe Proctor & Gamble provides America with fine products, and even finer potato crisps, but I cannot, in good faith, purchase anymore Pringles Screamin’ Dill Pickle EXTREME potato crisps until this problem is rectified. I shall eye any future potato crisp purchase with no expectations. If I have no expectations, I shall not be disappointed. I eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely,


xxxxxxxxx
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Old 07-15-2009, 04:52 AM
 
Location: Anchorage, Alaska (most of the time)
1,225 posts, read 3,366,608 times
Reputation: 1902
Thanks for the laugh, it was amazing (work's pretty dead here today, being summer and all). No one can accuse you of being rude anyway. Whoever reads that letter should change the titel (or, better yet, the taste) no problem.

Anyway... Let us know what they responded!
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Old 07-15-2009, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
5,435 posts, read 10,051,736 times
Reputation: 10483
What a dilly of a letter! You're a witty writer and I'd love to have been a fly on the wall when your letter was received...bet it got passed around the office. And your point is well-taken. Nothing about their chips sounded or tasted Extreme at all...just copping a word to sell more product...

Please post their response...if you get one. I expect you will, but it will be phrased in corp-speak and won't be at all entertaining as yours was!
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Old 07-15-2009, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Downtown Orlando, FL
573 posts, read 1,498,034 times
Reputation: 545
Yes, I'm assuming that it will be passed around legal before they figure out what to do with it. I have my rough draft of my second letter almost finished, I'll be sure to post it later.....
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Old 07-15-2009, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Hialeah
809 posts, read 2,046,009 times
Reputation: 351
This was HILARIOUS. And yes, the use of caps, italics and bold are warranted here. If I had a neon option I would have used it too. You have meticulously forged your point across in a succinct manner, while adding a sardonic, almost Seinfeld-ain tone to the letter. Thanks for the laugh.
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Old 07-15-2009, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
40,056 posts, read 30,873,732 times
Reputation: 10494
Everyone (that is, everyone who is literate) can appreciate such humor. Especially when it doesn't cross the line into nit-pickling.
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Old 07-15-2009, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Downtown Orlando, FL
573 posts, read 1,498,034 times
Reputation: 545
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fred314X View Post
Everyone (that is, everyone who is literate) can appreciate such humor. Especially when it doesn't cross the line into nit-pickling.
Oh, I get nit-picky in my second letter....but all in good fun, of course!
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Old 07-15-2009, 06:54 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 4,505,982 times
Reputation: 3980
cool!!

if you want another reason to complain to the company, write & ask why they insist on calling one of their varieties "Pringles ORIGINAL" when it's not...
not only were their 'original' chips called "Pringles Newfangled," they tasted different & better
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Downtown Orlando, FL
573 posts, read 1,498,034 times
Reputation: 545
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tia 914 View Post
cool!!

if you want another reason to complain to the company, write & ask why they insist on calling one of their varieties "Pringles ORIGINAL" when it's not...
not only were their 'original' chips called "Pringles Newfangled," they tasted different & better

LOL! My third letter brings up inconsistencies in how they are called "Super Stack" and reasons why they are not "Super"....
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
16,166 posts, read 21,111,307 times
Reputation: 8340
I hope you are aware that Pringles won a lawsuit in England by proving that their products have NO FOOD in them, thus were not taxable as food. As George Carlin said about Non Dairy Creamer "OK, we know what it's not"
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