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Old 07-15-2009, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Downtown Orlando, FL
573 posts, read 1,497,442 times
Reputation: 545

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Read Pringles Part I if you haven't yet.....

Thanks for putting up with my lame writing, just was bored and wanted to throw it out there......

And now, on to Pringles Part II!

July 10, 2009

Procter and Gamble
One Procter and Gamble Plaza
Cincinnati, OH 45202

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is a follow up letter pertaining to my recent experience with your Pringles Screamin’ Dill EXTREME potato crisps. I have enclosed my previous communication with you as well as copies of my certified receipt.

I have not heard anything from your company in regards to the blatantly false labeling of your potato crisps. As you may recall, my issue was the fact that your Pringles Screamin’ Dill EXTREME potato crisps were labeled EXTREME when they were, in fact, not EXTREME. I also had issue with the word “EXTREME” being outlined in neon, adding to the whole EXTREME factor when, again, your potato crisps are not EXTREME. I was also deeply disturbed that not only was the word EXTREME being used incorrectly, (and of course that it was outlined in neon! Neon, for crying out loud!), but also that the word was on the label in all capital letters, adding to the conspiracy to mislead American consumers who purchase your potato crisps.

While I am upset that I have yet to receive communication from your corporation as to how you will be rectifying this problem, I am actually writing today to update you on an even more recent experience I had with your Pringles Screamin’ Dill EXTREME potato crisps.

As stated in my previous letter (Appendix A, enclosed) the potato crisps were not horrible, and that they were actually somewhat tasty. In any event, later in the week I ended up finally reaching the bottom of the cylinder of potato crisps. As I was tipping the can, allowing the final potato crisp crumbs to reach my eager tongue, I was met with a taste that I can say was significantly “salty”. The final crumbs at the bottom had, in my opinion, what appeared to be a more residual dill flavoring than any previous potato crisp before it. It wasn’t like I was eating a dill flavored salt lick, mind you, but the flavor was certainly at a higher level of flavorfullness than the previous crisps before it.

I felt the need to clarify my original letter (dated July 3) now that I have discovered a minor discrepancy in taste between your potato crisps. I stand by my original claim that your potato crisps are not EXTREME and are only simply “somewhat flavored,” but I only make this claim for the first 89 crisps. The final crisp, at least in crumb form, can now be considered “flavored.” Of course, my theory is that this final crisp is only considered “flavored” if it is consumed last. I do not believe that if you took this last crisp out of the can, and put it in a different order (say, crisp #14), that it would still be considered “flavored.” My theory is that this crisp has a different and distinctly higher concentration of flavor than the rest because it is the last in line of potato crisps to be consumed, and again, only if it is in crumb form.



To illustrate the overall taste of this final potato crisp, I have outlined an updated graph so you may have this supporting data in your files:

ß------------------------------------------XXX-------------------------------------------------------------à
No flavor Somewhat flavored Flavored Tastes like a pickle EXTREME

*PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CHART IS REPRESENTATIVE OF ONLY THE FINAL POTATO CRISP, AND IN NO WAY IS REPRESENTATIVE OF THE APPROXIMATELY 89 CRISPS THAT PRECEDE IT.

While I am still awaiting your reply as to why your potato crisps are labeled EXTREME when they are clearly not, and I am also still waiting on your supporting data that concludes that your potato crisps are EXTREME (I do not believe you have any such supporting data in your possession), I am writing today to suggest a possible way to rectify this problem.

I think that in order to save face with the American consumers that choose to purchase your potato crisps in the future, you should change the secret recipe so that the potato crisps will be EXTREME. According to your ingredients list (which I eye suspiciously as there doesn’t seem to be much truth in your labeling), the ingredients for your EXTREME dill potato crisps are, in this order:

Dried potatoes
Vegetable oil
Rice flour
Wheat starch and whey
Contains 2% or less of maltodextrin, dextrose, sodium diacetate, lactose, monosodium glutamate, citric acid, dill, spice, spice extracts, sunflower oil, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, natural flavor, and tapioca dextrin.

I have taken it upon myself to conduct a poll/research study as to determine the opinions of the general population as to which ingredients should stay, which ingredients should go, and which ingredients just need to be in a different order. My sample population for this poll was 1. This 1 person was picked randomly, and is a representative sample of the general potato crisp eating population. The site for this poll/research study was my living room. Please note there is a statistical error rate of +/- 0%. Below are the results of this poll/research study:

100% of persons polled felt that wheat starch, whey, citric acid, and tapioca dextrin could be left out of the recipe without any ill effect on the taste of the potato crisp.

100% of persons polled agreed that any ingredient that sounded scientific in nature and/or could not be said ten times fast (Ex. maltodextrin) should probably be kept in the recipe, as leaving these ingredients out would probably have some sort of dire, chaotic, and possibly catastrophic effect on the overall quality and safeness of the potato crisp.

100% of persons polled felt that the ingredient “dill” should be the second ingredient, right after dried potatoes, and before vegetable oil. If dill was the second ingredient, the potato crisps would be certainly guaranteed to live up to its EXTREME namesake.

As you can clearly see, the American people have spoken. It is in your best interest to change this recipe as soon as your manufacturing plants will allow. May I also suggest having your PR people under your employ draft a Press Release prior to the recipe launch. As I’m sure your PR department is aware, a press release could be just the “buzz” needed to get the American people hyped up about your new ingredients list. If you would like to hire me on as a consultant during this difficult but exciting transition, I will be more than happy to help in any way I can. I would appreciate a reply as to when this recipe change will be taking effect so I can lift the boycott I currently have on your Pringles Screamin’ Dill Pickle EXTREME potato crisps.

Sincerely,
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Old 09-15-2009, 05:45 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
40,056 posts, read 30,861,997 times
Reputation: 10493
The least they could do is offer you a spot in one of their commercials. Alas, Marketing Departments are not known for their sense of fun.
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Ogden, Utah
165 posts, read 348,194 times
Reputation: 296
Alas AND alas, reality and marketing have never met Twain (or something like that.)

I've seen television ads for alleged spicy chicken sandwiches. The actors are shown in states just short of dire pain, sometimes with traces of ominous smoke rising from various body openings. Only after purchasing said sandwich is it learned that the only rising smoke is from one's wallet. The sandwich is as spicy as recycled pasteboard. In fact it could be made of recycled pasteboard and no one would detect any difference.

If they do in fact use "taste testers" to screen such products, said tasters must have been raised on plain rice - or possibly air alone. No one else would consider said products to be "spicy" much less "extreme."
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Old 09-15-2009, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,039 posts, read 25,769,314 times
Reputation: 26921
I hope you post the reply.....if they deign to respond. I would bet you get a boilerplate answer. Thank you for your comments etc, etc.
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Old 09-15-2009, 10:51 AM
 
Location: in here, out there
3,064 posts, read 5,735,809 times
Reputation: 5109
You could have included the link to part one of your complaint.
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