Warning to all thinking of relocating south (Fort Mill, Abbeville: fit in, houses)

[massachusetts]

All,

The following is an excerpt taken from "places rated almanac"----hope it helps in making a decision before you relocate:

These books are full of extremely helpful information, but I warn my fellow readers to take a place's culture into account before making a life-changing move. The books will not help you here. My husband and I bought a previous edition of Places Rated and devoured it while looking for a place to relocate from Los Angeles. We settled on a southern capital that seemed to have everything going for it, including consistently high rankings in Places Rated and every other city ranking we could find. Unfortunately, a city that looks great on paper may not be the place for you. Despite having lived in several states, we were unprepared for the surprising difficulties we experienced as "yankees" living in the south. From petty social and work discrimination to routinely being screwed over by one business after another hired to work on our home or car, etc., it became evident that we were identified as "yankees" on sight and treated accordingly. So much for southern hospitality! I assure you that we did our best to fit in and make friends, as we have successfully done in every other region of the country. After 2-1/2 years of this, we sold our home for a loss and got our "unsweet tea" out of there. Perhaps we were naive, not realizing that the yankee business is still such a potent issue in the south, but we will make future relocation choices with this experience in mind.

[GJM]

Well I have to say I moved from NJ to SC and have had no problems at all. Everyone has been very nice even when having work done in our home. I would hope someone trying to relocate would visit the area before just reading and looking stuff up on the computer. It could be totally different then what you see on paper.

[jenn02674]

I just read an interesting article in Charlotte Magazine on why he keeps defending the south. For the record, the writer is originally from California. I loved how it started and you can see the beginning of the article here: Charlotte Magazine - Feature Story (broken link)

"I was standing in line at a pizza parlor in Portland, Oregon. In front of me was a woman with a negative, stressful energy that she emitted like repellent. When she found out I was visiting from Charlotte, her eyes opened wide and she scowled. “Oh, my son spent a few months in Charlotte on business. He said it was an awful place filled with the most unfriendly people he’d ever met. He said he was never once invited into anybody’s house. No culture, nothing to do. He hated it.” I was shocked at how she could get it so wrong.

“Really?” I replied. “That’s strange, because I find the people in Charlotte to be some of the friendliest in the country. In fact, maybe too friendly. It’s really quite lovely.” But what I was really thinking as I looked into her sourpuss eyes was, Jeez, an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree—I guess your son is somebody even a Southerner couldn’t love."

I think the article got it right about why some people just don't have positive experiences in the south - they have these visions of the south from movies and history books. The writer even stated that the first time they spent time in the south, on a road trip, they started off with a negative impression but were pleasantly suprised. There was even a comment about no matter where you travel if you don't go with an open mind you won't get a true, accurate impression of the area. That is so true. It really was a good article.

[SatTerra]

Interesting, just about everyone we meet is from somewhere else. We've met a total of 2/two women born and raised in Fort Mill. Both very nice, and my wife and kids hang out with them. One is her sushi partner as I have an aversion to uncooked fish. I do worry about the large number of folks coming from NY/NJ though.... jk (just kidding). Sail on!

[groove1]

Originally Posted by SatTerra

Interesting, just about everyone we meet is from somewhere else. We've met a total of 2/two women born and raised in Fort Mill. Both very nice, and my wife and kids hang out with them. One is her sushi partner as I have an aversion to uncooked fish. I do worry about the large number of folks coming from NY/NJ though.... jk (just kidding). Sail on!

Much sushi is cooked, such as Philly rolls (smoked salmon) and sushi is technically vegetables and/or fish wrapped in rice.

[groove1]

I just moved to Fort Mill after living in Charlotte for 6 years and I am a northern transplant. Here are the demographics of the cul de sac: Neighbor is black on one side, neighbor is from NJ on the other side. Two and 3 doors down are white. 3rd door down a black couple just moved in. House at the end is currently vacant. Across the street: white older couple (native southerners I THINK), white lady next door, black family next door, native white southern family next door, and two older black ladies in the last two houses before the end. Everyone is very friendly and gets along fine. It is extremely quiet and there is no racial or north versus south tension. There are SO many interracial couples in the Charlotte area too that I am surprised you had problems, even in Fort Mill.

[imanislandgirl]

[. So much for southern hospitality!

That is a shame. Not sure where you moved to, but we have been living in Hilton Head for 8 years, both from the north, and we never have encounterd that situation. There are, I am sure, some places where this may happen.

[Foxy NJ]

My sister lives in NC, previously born and raised in NJ. She gets along fine down there and the people there are just as nice and/or not so nice as here. No matter where you go you will run into prejudice, weirdos, nice people, mean people, and so on. You have to take the negative and turn it positive or you'll never survive in todays world. I think if you have it in your mind to succeed, than that is what you will do. The south may not be for some people...Same goes for the north too. You can always move back!

[ComputerUser000]

Originally Posted by massachusetts

All,

The following is an excerpt taken from "places rated almanac"----hope it helps in making a decision before you relocate:

These books are full of extremely helpful information, but I warn my fellow readers to take a place's culture into account before making a life-changing move. The books will not help you here. My husband and I bought a previous edition of Places Rated and devoured it while looking for a place to relocate from Los Angeles. We settled on a southern capital that seemed to have everything going for it, including consistently high rankings in Places Rated and every other city ranking we could find. Unfortunately, a city that looks great on paper may not be the place for you. Despite having lived in several states, we were unprepared for the surprising difficulties we experienced as "yankees" living in the south. From petty social and work discrimination to routinely being screwed over by one business after another hired to work on our home or car, etc., it became evident that we were identified as "yankees" on sight and treated accordingly. So much for southern hospitality! I assure you that we did our best to fit in and make friends, as we have successfully done in every other region of the country. After 2-1/2 years of this, we sold our home for a loss and got our "unsweet tea" out of there. Perhaps we were naive, not realizing that the yankee business is still such a potent issue in the south, but we will make future relocation choices with this experience in mind.

You know, this surprises me.. I'm a yankee too (From Connecticut) and have been in Abbeville, SC since December 2006.......... and never ever encountered a single problem with anyone or any business.

I've had some people bend voer backwards to help me out when it was within their means....... and everyone always says Hi to me or whatnot.

Maybe it has a SMALL bit to do with where i work in town, but thats only like 5 percent of it(I'm a radio broadcaster)

[twiggy]

I believe you do have to take into account how the locals feel about the hundreds of people who relocate at vast numbers into their home state. Some of them can get quite cranky about it.
A little respect goes along way. Being from AZ, I understand the problems that growth can create. There are also bonuses from it. It really depends which one your "local" is experiencing. If it's the bonus then he will welcome you, if it's not, well, then you get Mr. Cranky!