Which one is more important, earning a good living for your family or stability?? (Charleston: mortgage, refinance)

[jenn02674]

Yes, there are plenty of kids that are well adjusted and moved around a good bit. They might not *want* to move when the time comes but that doesn't mean it is *bad* for them. It isn't just military jobs either. There are lots of jobs that mean uprooting every few years.

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[Tony1790]

Originally Posted by brightcopperkettles

What is your area of expertise again please? The railroad definitely runs in SC, but I don't think that would be your best idea. Give me an idea of what you're looking for, and perhaps I can narrow the field for you as far as where to look.

I operated ships, boats and drove military trucks (no CDL), I operated cranes, forklifts, supervised people doing the things above. Acted as instructor, budget officer, supply officer, admin officer, etc.

I'm acting as an operations manager right now, mainly supervising people work on refueling, service locomotives and repair rail cars, etc.


Tony

[Waterslaw]

Go for the money and invest and save every dime you can. Don't get left poor after you retire. Your family is important too, so you have to examine you're situation. If they are happy with the money you know earn in their present life style the the money is important.

After they are off on their own you still have to live. Make retirement as much fun as possible.

[tony123]

I don't even understand the arguement to make decisions based on money? seems like a very empty life to me. Especially after hearing that you would pay cash for a house and still have roughly 50,000 income here in the south. You would not be hurting for much in that situation, so I don't see how this would be considered the lesser choice financially.

I was running up the corperate ladder, when we found out my wife was pregnant with twins. Since I was the one that was chained to his desk, we decided to give up my income. I work for the same company now, but as part time instead of 60 hour weeks. I spend all week at home with our two boys. Let me tell you, once you experience being with your family on this level, you will not understand the philosophy of chasing money. Money has absolutely nothing to do with my happiness, as it shouldn't.

You've got a sick wife and kids that are older every day. Seize this opportunity!

Obviously money is necessary for lots of things, but you aren't talking about choosing poverty by moving here.

One poster asked what's so good about stability? have you ever had a history somewhere? with someone? I'm not talking about a 5 year history, I'm talking 20 year history. There's something special about knowing somone all your life. Time alone changes your relationships.

Well....this is an emotional topic, as evidenced by all the posts, I could type all day and not capture how strong I feel.

I think you've already answered the question though....you are regreting many things about the last 20 years. Why choose those same regrets again? try making the "other" choice. You can always switch gears again and chase money. At some point, you won't be able to chase your family, they'll be too busy with their own.

[jenn02674]

I don't think anyone is suggesting that money is the ONLY factor you should look at but it most certainly should be a big factor in the decision.

$50,000/year with no mortgage is enough to live OK on. He won't have to worry about food on the table and paying the bills but it still isn't a whole lot of money though especially with a sick wife and kids. The OP will still need to save for retirement, college, etc. (hopefully) so that doesn't leave a whole lot left over. Some people may be OK with that, but some people are not and only the OP can answer that question. Going from $120,000/year to $50,000/year will be a big adjustment in your lifestyle. While housing costs, taxes, and insurance may be cheaper in the south, food, vacations, college, etc are not.

Some other considerations:
1. Will your wife be working when you move?
2. Do you have to pay any share of health insurance coverage or any copays, etc. if you retire from the military? I know you probably have good insurance now but if you have to get regular insurance if you leave the military, will you be stuck with thousands of dollars out of pocket every year? Diabetes, as I am sure you know, can be expensive.
3. How much college and retirement do you have saved up already?

Money should not be the only factor but realisticly, it is a big part of the equation. I don't expect you to answer these questions publically but I would very much wonder about #2. Even if you have great group insurance, a major surgery, illness, or accident can still leave you with thousands of dollars in out of pocket expenses a year that you might not have with military insurance.

Jenn

[tony123]

I must be considered an extremist on this topic

I would live in a shack before giving up any time with my children.

Today's society is so brainwashed as to what it takes to have a good life. Many of my own extended family members feel that cell phones and cable televisions are essentials. And a vehicle that hauls any less than 7 people just doesn't meet their "needs".

Jenn, you are correct, only the individual can answer the question for themselves. In my case, 50,000 with no mortgage would allow for anything I need or want.

120,000 on the west coast with a mortgage is likely not that different from 50,000 and no mortgage in SC.

[GoPadge]

Originally Posted by tony123

... And a vehicle that hauls any less than 7 people just doesn't meet their "needs".

In my case it's "anything that hauls less than 6, doesn't have room for the luggage and medium dog crate doesn't meet my needs. It's a shame that the only vehicles on the road that meet those "requirements" are large SUV's. Having said that, I chose to dump our new "fuel efficient" Mazda MPV for an older Surburban. The Suburban offered the room we wanted and at a lower monthly price (even when you add in the added gas costs). That gives us more lattitude to spend time with and money on the kids.

[jenn02674]

I want to know where in the world the assumption that the OP is missing out on time with his kids?? I reread the original post and nowhere did it say that. It appears that the original poster is going to have to work, as most of us do, so it isn't how much time the job is taking away but how much moving from place to place they want to live with.

Tony123, I am assuming someone in your family has to work? Why don't ya'll live in a shack so that noone has to work or only has to work part time? Where is the line drawn? Why am I the bad guy because I have high standards such as living in a good neighborhood, value education, value experiencing different places (sorry, would be kind of hard traveling to different countries if you live paycheck to paycheck), and giving my child the opportunity to experience different things (sports, music lessons, camps, etc.) that might not be available if you don't have the extra money to spend on them!!

You are absolutly right, no amount of money would be worth working eighty hour work weeks for me either but I don't think that is at all the dilemma that the OP is struggling with!!

And for the record, my brother in law and his wife and child lived in Seattle for three years and he was also in the military. Real estate was a bit higher but it wasn't all that much higher than it is in the places where the OP would likely be moving too. As a matter of fact, they were able to afford alot nicer house in WA than they were able to buy here in Fort Mill/Charlotte area (without driving over an hour to work every day).

[Tony1790]

Originally Posted by jenn02674

$50,000/year with no mortgage is enough to live OK on. Won't have to worry about food on the table and paying the bills but it still isn't a whole lot of money though especially with a sick wife and kids. The OP will still need to save for retirement, college, etc. (hopefully) so that doesn't leave a whole lot left over.

Some other considerations:
1. Will your wife be working when you move?
2. Do you have to pay any share of health insurance coverage

Money should not be the only factor but realisticly, it is a big part of the equation. Jenn

Jenn,

Thanks for the reply,

I know that alot of people make less than $50,000 and have house payments, car payments, etc and do ok, but like you said, there is not alot after taxes, insurance, gas, etc.

I know in Seattle anything less than $100,000 per year was enough to live on but not thrive. There are people in Seattle that live on $10 per hour etc, but I can't see it. The fella that was picking up my stuff for the movers was saying how it cost him $600 per month per kid for daycare and he has 2 kids. I asked him how much he made an hour ($12) after taxes, etc it wasn't much more than $1200 per month take home. I looked him straight in the eye and said, then why are you working? He quit his job within the hour and went home (his wife make's more money than he did).

As to the wife working, she'll probally not work, so it will be mainly my income paying the bills. So while I do need to spend time with my youngest before he leaves the house for good, I don't want to be working to just pay the bills, and be like the above example, I mean if I have to work, it should be for enough to get ahead not just tread water.

As to healthcare, right now they use the military hospital, so no co-pays, etc, but if we retire to an area that doesn't have a military hospital that we can access, than our health care costs will go up quite a bit. Once you retire from the military, you are no longer entitled to free health care as you were while active duty and in contrast to what they tell you when you sign up, but that's another story all together

Anywho, the reason that I haven't made the move to the southland yet, is that while I can live on a bit lower wage, I can't live on nothing. And nothing is what I'd be making without a job, and a job is what I have'nt been able to find in SC/NC/TN.

What I need is a stable job, in one location that I can sink down roots, without sinking into a hole financially speaking.

Wish me luck.


Tony

[Dave O]

Tony: When I first replied I didn't read the numbers. The "divide" between $35k and $70k is huge in terms of quality of life. I was thinking about the difference between making say $75k and $105k. You're definitely in a tough spot. Good luck with your choice.