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I, personally, thought most people would smile back, even if it was an awkward smile of confusion if you smiled at them, but I've come to learn that people who aren't from the south have been taught differently their entire lives.
That being said, a smile is noncommittal. You could smile at a bank robber and it probably wouldn't do anything.
Well, being from the north, most of the time someone smiles spontaneously at you or starts a conversation with another table at dinner - means they are trying to sell something. I hate to sound bitter, but that's the norm at times. When we visit SC, it takes a day or two to remember that strangers are a little more congenial and it doesn't mean they want to sell you stuff.
(To the OP, I try to smile at everyone. What's it cost? Nothing. And there have been times that I have been really down, just to look up at a stranger's smiling face of unconditional hope and cheeriness and general good will, that it's cheered me up for a week or so.)
Reading the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about random strangers waving at you when you pass them on the street while you're driving or whatever.... but it's only about smiling...
Funny, that's what I was going to add. The OP shouldn't go driving through SC's country cause we wave at everyone while driving. Just the index finger if I don't know you, 4 fingers if you're an acquaintance or I think I might know you and 4 fingers and my thumb if I know you
...I read this blog and immediately was reminded of this thread. I thought it was worth sharing.
Nice, Neecie, but how do you know the blogger "didnt just rob a bank or set fire to a public building endagnering the lives of others ?" (Sorry, the OP just cracks me up). Thanks for sharing , although it's obvious there are some who will always find an excuse for not smiling at strangers.
In one of his books, Elmore Leonard shared a profound thought that I felt also matched the mood of this thread:
Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and *****-slap the ****** upside the head." (Edited for family viewing).
If Leonard ever met the OP, wonder which muscles he would have used?
My husband has always been a 'door opener' or hold a door open for the young, elderly, actually anybody ... I don't know if this is just a southern thing or not. With the invention of the automatic doors this has cut down on this courtesy. I am the smile at people member of the family and if reciprocated I will say hi. Not looking for a rendezvous or to pick-a-pocket. I am not smiling at someone to get to know them or to converse with them, not looking for a BFF, it's just common courtesy.
Hubby is also a 'nod' and g'morning person. I don't mean he runs up and down streets nodding and telling people good morning.
When we retired we took our RV and hit the road. We would stay a week or two in one place, just long enough to see all the things of interest in an area. Every morning hubby would get up and walk ... he passed this one guy each morning and would nod and say g'morning .... no response ... nothing ... just a sour look from the guy, then look the other way and the man would keep on walking. My husband was not out to sexually molest anyone, rob anyone, just good morning!!!!
The day before we left that area he headed out to walk ... this time he stopped the guy and just ask 'what in the hell is wrong with you ... every morning for two weeks I have said good morning ... you turn your head, look the other way and walk on by!' The man said 'what was I suppose to say!' I just kept telling hubby ... honey we ain't in the South no more.
Is it rude to not smile back at a random stranger ? *Details* Many, many people smile at me perhaps because I am female and probably look a little innocent (and maybe clueless?) But Im not agreeable to it because I am not comfortable smiling at strangers or random people I come into incidental contact with. The exception is when someone has done something for me that really stands out as in went above and beyond for me I will give them a heartfelt thanks and a sweet smile Other than than, I smile when the sight of someone/something makes me happy, when I am spontaneously amused or when I want to engage (with a certain) someone for a (specific) reason or when I want them to like me. None of these apply to everyday people on the street or to service personal I come into contact with as a result of ordering / buying something. Some people seem hurt that I dont smile back. I dont mean to be rude, but for me a smile means something more powerful and less casual, if I am smiling at you you can bet it is because I like you or want to get to know you better, or something you said amuses me, or you have done something way special. So it hurts my feelings when total strangers act like I dissed them. Its not like I made a mean face I just didnt cheese at them...
Well Bless your heart....it hurts your feelings when people that you are to uppity to smile back at think you dissed them. Get over yourself.
How very incomprehensible for you to even think your smiles are so special, I find that very sad. I have always smiled, it is the very cheapest form of "feel good" that we humans have. You might just make someone feel a little ray of hope, or warm a gentle soul. But, that is your choice....I'll just keep on smiling, and enjoying those smiling responses.
My husband has always been a 'door opener' or hold a door open for the young, elderly, actually anybody ... I don't know if this is just a southern thing or not. With the invention of the automatic doors this has cut down on this courtesy. I am the smile at people member of the family and if reciprocated I will say hi. Not looking for a rendezvous or to pick-a-pocket. I am not smiling at someone to get to know them or to converse with them, not looking for a BFF, it's just common courtesy.
Hubby is also a 'nod' and g'morning person. I don't mean he runs up and down streets nodding and telling people good morning.
well i'm from WI and was always a door holder... so i'd say it's just a courtesy thing though seems far more common down here. I always try to be friendly, though at times a little smart-arse comment may leave my lips when someone walks thru the door i'm holding for them without any acknowledgement. To which i usually say "why thank you" and THEN they turn to look lol.
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I hate to sound bitter, but that's the norm at times. When we visit SC, it takes a day or two to remember that strangers are a little more congenial and it doesn't mean they want to sell you stuff.
, although it's obvious there are some who will always find an excuse for not smiling at strangers.
I just kept telling hubby ... honey we ain't in the South no more. 
I just didnt cheese at them...
