What Can Yankees Do To Better Assimilate? (Greenville, Lexington: new home, buy) - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

JohnnyBreakdance · 06-06-2007, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piper444

Johnny, I want to make sure I understand: you can insult somebody else but they can't reciprocate? Is that because ...actually, I have no idea why you would think that. Southern manners? Wounded pride? Inflated sense of worth? Civil war, anyone?

I personally think that it stems from the powerless being allowed to make fun of the powerful but not vice versa. In the same way people will overlook a white joke made by a black comedian but a black joke made by a white comedian will get that comedian booed off stage. Sure, it is a double standard but that's just reality. Make an insulting remark about the South and Southerners will never forget about it.

piper444 · 06-06-2007, 08:06 AM

But we both understand that there should be a standard set for everyone, right? Gary Sheffield's recent remarks about Latin players are out of line, if we apply the same standard to him that all the white players, owners, managers, etc. are required to comply with. If the the purpose is to not show insensitivity to anyone, then by allowing exemptions, we are defeating the purpose. And really, are blacks powerless? Are southerners powerless? Aren't we just feeding the fire by telling one group they have to behave while the other group insults or degrades them?

And I don't understand- do you think only southerners remember an insult? I've learned (the hard way) that people remember everything and I've had to pay for saying or doing something that I assumed would be forgiven by someone else. I'm not saying that it's acceptable for a northerner to make insulting remarks about the south- that's just rude. But I AM saying that rule works both ways.

Even the loud, pushy ones will learn what a treasure this area is- be patient, let their defensiveness subside over time. You may even discover that the rude ones are actually reacting to what they feel are disparaging remarks about them and where they are from. We can't expect to sneer at them and call them yankees and figure they will forgive and forget. Gentility and manners is what this lifestyle is supposed to be about.

Once we get this one fixed, maybe we can convince blacks and whites to work on their similarities instead of celebrating their differences. Democrats and Republicans, of course, are a lost cause.

Or as that great philosopher Rodney King once said, "Can't we all just get along?"

baggleflap · 06-06-2007, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by groove1

This is pretty good advice coming from someone who has been in NC for 6 years. This isn't where you're from, things are different, some good some bad, but that's it. Myself and some of my native friends joke about the things in this list, but nothing more.

Just to set things straight. Probably TMI, but here goes. My dad was in the military so I was born overseas. When my parents moved back to the US (when I was 4 months old), it was to NC. Lived there for 6 years, then Dad was transferred Ohio, Ark and Calif for my school years. After college I moved to Charlotte and stayed for 15 years before my DH got transferred to TX then CA. NOW, we are back in SC this time. So, really, I would classify myself as a native. I just had to move around a little bit. I have so many accents combined in my speech, no one seems to know where I'm "from". And, does it really matter??

Regarding the posts on this thread; it doesn't matter where you are from or where you are moving to. Be respectful of others. Sure, I'll talk about some of the things I miss in different parts of the country. The Pecan smoked BBQ outside of Houston, the mountains of Calif., the sub sandwiches from a locally owned restaurant in Columbus, Ohio, etc. but are those special enough to make me stay there? Obviously not. The Carolinas have beautiful beaches, wonderful weather, a great lifestyle, PULLED PORK BBQ!, and it's a great place to raise kids. Those (and others) are the reasons I moved BACK.

JohnnyBreakdance · 06-06-2007, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piper444

But we both understand that there should be a standard set for everyone, right?

Actually no, I don't agree. I think that you are trying to apply a concept of equal treatment under the law to societal behavior. Things simply do not work that way.

Another example: it is perfectly acceptable for someone to heckle the President but if the President snipes back at the heckler then the President just looks petty.

piper444 · 06-06-2007, 09:01 AM

Well, yes, the president would look petty. But then again, I would think the heckler is rude. It's not about law- it's about the concept of fairness. When people think that they can use their "position" to unfair advantage, they lose their right to complain if they get treated the same way. It's bullying and it doesn't lead to a solution, only more problems.The president would look petty but I wouldn't have any sympathy for the heckler if he started to complain about being heckled himself.

DanielBates · 06-06-2007, 12:30 PM

If you moved here for a slower pace of life (like most "yankees" do) than remember that. Don't try to change us, we're happy the way we are.

groove1 · 06-06-2007, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielBates

If you moved here for a slower pace of life (like most "yankees" do) than remember that. Don't try to change us, we're happy the way we are.

Change can be good and you should always be openminded to it (well a lot of it anyway). Maybe not in this situation, but definitely in a lot of others. If it is so slow here, why do people see who can drive the fastest (auto racing)? Just one irony that intrigues me.

JohnnyBreakdance · 06-06-2007, 02:24 PM

groove1's post made me think of another tip which is particularly important in business:

Just because we talk slow doesn't mean that we think that way.

GVLbikeNboard · 06-06-2007, 02:41 PM

I agree with pretty much everybody else here, don't repeat the "well this is how we did it" over and over and so on. It does tend to get on our nerves because it's like we're being put down, or told that we're wrong.

Also, don't complain about things that are different. I was at a high school graduation the other week (Governor's School) and it was held at the Peace Center for the Performing Arts. It's a very nice facility that many of us in Greenville take pride in. There was a lady from New Jersey sitting beside me and she complained about it the entire 2 hours. Over and over, she kept commenting on how small the place was. She kept asking questions like where will the students procession be? Where's the center aisle? There's no center aisle! That's a fire hazard! I can't believe there's no center aisle, that's such an inconvenience!

I thought my dad was gonna smack her.

Anyways, most of us will welcome you...I will! Just be nice!

GVLbikeNboard · 06-06-2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by groove1

Change can be good and you should always be openminded to it (well a lot of it anyway). Maybe not in this situation, but definitely in a lot of others. If it is so slow here, why do people see who can drive the fastest (auto racing)? Just one irony that intrigues me.

Because it's fun! (Just kidding, I'm not all that interested in Nascar, only racing I enjoy is Formula and Rally) Anyways, I don't know why racing is always associated with the south. Sure, it started here...but there are tracks all over the country. The Labor Day race that was once held in Darlington, SC was recently moved to California because they could hold more fans in their speedway/stadium and have more people watching it on tv.

Just like lifted trucks/suv's being associated with the South. I recently joined a Jeep forum, and the majority of the members are not from the south. There's plenty of BIG TRUCKS out west, where the terrain has more to offer for 4x4's anyways. So there's a lot of explaining to go either way.