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Old 01-30-2011, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,500,844 times
Reputation: 22713

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Old 02-10-2011, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,500,844 times
Reputation: 22713
bad joke of the day.

James Bond and a chicken meet, the chicken asks: "Whats your name?" Bond reply's "Bond, James Bond" bond asks the chicken the same, he reply's, "Ken, Chick Ken"
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Old 02-12-2011, 11:22 AM
 
Location: S.Dak
19,015 posts, read 8,695,900 times
Reputation: 28498
A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they
Were eating breakfast, the young woman watched her neighbor hanging wash
Outside. "That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how
To wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would
Make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on
The line and said to her husband,

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others may depend on the
Purity of the window through which we look.
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Old 02-12-2011, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Spots Wyoming
18,696 posts, read 35,415,173 times
Reputation: 2147483647
You really find out who your friends are when you have "Amish Friendship Bread."

Let me explain.

Somebody gives you a starter bag and the recipe to Amish Friendship Bread. The starter bag has bread dough in it that is the consistancy of bananna bread dough. Nobody knows exactly how to start it, other then the Amish.

So a while back a "friend" gave me a starter bag and the recipe.

Recipe says, day 1, squeeze the bag, day 2, squeeze the bag, etc until you get to day 6. On day 6, you add a cup of flour, a cup of sugar and a cup of milk. This starts the fermenting. Day 7 squeeze the bag, day 8 squeeze the bag, day 9 squeeze the bag. Day 10. You add a cup of flour, a cup of sugar and a cup of milk. Mix it thoroughly in a glass or plastic container using a wooden spatula. Dip out 4 cups and put each cup in a new 1 gallon baggy, put the date on each, Those are 4 new starters. The remainder, you add other ingredients and make 2 loaves of bread.

So now, you have 4 starters and 2 loaves of bread. Keep one starter for yourself, give the other 3 to friends along with a copy of the recipe.

Seem simple enough? Not if "friends" have ever been hooked into the illegal pyramid scheme.

My first time, I had no problem giving 3 starters away. The 2 loaves of bread turned out outstanding.

Now, it's time to hand out the next 3. You realize that the 3 friends you handed out to last time, now also have 3 starters to hand out. So you are not going to hand out starters to them, they, and 3 of their friends (probably some of them are your friends also) already have starters. So the field of who you are going to hand out starters to, has shrunk.

But what they hey, the bread is good, it freezes well, I'll just keep all 4 starters. Not a problem.

I'm currently on day 6, which means I just added stuff to 4 starter bags. In 4 more days, I'm going to have to bake 8 loaves of bread and I'll then have 16 starter bags and nobody to give them to. If I don't have anybody to hand them out to, I'll be baking 32 loaves of bread in 2 week and handing out, or having to keep, 64 starter bags.

I'm pretty sure this is why most states made it illegal to run pyramid schemes.

I live next to a little town of 704 people. If you do that math, everybody in town will have starter bags in about 5 weeks. With nobody to hand them out to. Talk about turn a community against itself. I thought I'd be slick and just drop a bag off on a porch step, ring the bell and run like hell. I have to sit on one cheek now cause I'm picking rock salt out of the other one.

Anybody want to see their community crumble into a bunch of babbling idiots with freezers full of bread? Just let me know.
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Old 02-13-2011, 09:58 AM
 
Location: South Dakota
68 posts, read 113,918 times
Reputation: 51
Elkhunter, your friendship bread story had me laughing so hard I almost pee'd my pants!
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Old 02-13-2011, 12:06 PM
 
Location: rapid city sd
819 posts, read 1,499,459 times
Reputation: 1539
Default hi all

Quote:
Originally Posted by ammiller03 View Post
Elkhunter, your friendship bread story had me laughing so hard I almost pee'd my pants!
At least its warm enought it wont freeze if you did.haha.
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Old 02-13-2011, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 16,200,288 times
Reputation: 4611
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElkHunter View Post
You really find out who your friends are when you have "Amish Friendship Bread."

Let me explain.

Somebody gives you a starter bag and the recipe to Amish Friendship Bread. The starter bag has bread dough in it that is the consistancy of bananna bread dough. Nobody knows exactly how to start it, other then the Amish.

So a while back a "friend" gave me a starter bag and the recipe.

Recipe says, day 1, squeeze the bag, day 2, squeeze the bag, etc until you get to day 6. On day 6, you add a cup of flour, a cup of sugar and a cup of milk. This starts the fermenting. Day 7 squeeze the bag, day 8 squeeze the bag, day 9 squeeze the bag. Day 10. You add a cup of flour, a cup of sugar and a cup of milk. Mix it thoroughly in a glass or plastic container using a wooden spatula. Dip out 4 cups and put each cup in a new 1 gallon baggy, put the date on each, Those are 4 new starters. The remainder, you add other ingredients and make 2 loaves of bread.

So now, you have 4 starters and 2 loaves of bread. Keep one starter for yourself, give the other 3 to friends along with a copy of the recipe.

Seem simple enough? Not if "friends" have ever been hooked into the illegal pyramid scheme.

My first time, I had no problem giving 3 starters away. The 2 loaves of bread turned out outstanding.

Now, it's time to hand out the next 3. You realize that the 3 friends you handed out to last time, now also have 3 starters to hand out. So you are not going to hand out starters to them, they, and 3 of their friends (probably some of them are your friends also) already have starters. So the field of who you are going to hand out starters to, has shrunk.

But what they hey, the bread is good, it freezes well, I'll just keep all 4 starters. Not a problem.

I'm currently on day 6, which means I just added stuff to 4 starter bags. In 4 more days, I'm going to have to bake 8 loaves of bread and I'll then have 16 starter bags and nobody to give them to. If I don't have anybody to hand them out to, I'll be baking 32 loaves of bread in 2 week and handing out, or having to keep, 64 starter bags.

I'm pretty sure this is why most states made it illegal to run pyramid schemes.

I live next to a little town of 704 people. If you do that math, everybody in town will have starter bags in about 5 weeks. With nobody to hand them out to. Talk about turn a community against itself. I thought I'd be slick and just drop a bag off on a porch step, ring the bell and run like hell. I have to sit on one cheek now cause I'm picking rock salt out of the other one.

Anybody want to see their community crumble into a bunch of babbling idiots with freezers full of bread? Just let me know.
And then came Legend of "The Hatfields and McCoys".
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Old 02-13-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 16,200,288 times
Reputation: 4611
On a serious note:

A friend of mine(church member), is 93 yr's old. His name is Pierce McCoy and is the son of Elliot McCoy
from The Hatfields and McCoys,. (no joke)

I,ve known him for almost 1 year, and just found this out.
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Old 02-14-2011, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,500,844 times
Reputation: 22713

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0GsN...eature=feedwll

That is something I could see my kid do.
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Old 02-14-2011, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Spots Wyoming
18,696 posts, read 35,415,173 times
Reputation: 2147483647
Gotta go to town before Wednesday. Grocery's, don't ya know.

Grocery list.

50 lbs flour
50 lbs sugar
3 gal oil
2 lb can of baking soda
2 lb can of baking powder
1 dz bread pans
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