Share a smile here!! (Mitchell, Spearfish: broker, attorney, agriculture)

[debey]

Never: set a carton of eggs, on a hot burner. not a fun mess, to clean up.

[Sandhills Guru]

Once Upon A time
A guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after
and rode motorcycles
and went fishing and hunting
and played golf a lot
and drank beer and scotch
and had tons of money in the bank
and left the toilet seat up
and farted whenever he wanted.

The
end

Please don't tell wife I posted this!

[rjl78]

Originally Posted by Sandhills Guru

Once Upon A time
A guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after
and rode motorcycles
and went fishing and hunting
and played golf a lot
and drank beer and scotch
and had tons of money in the bank
and left the toilet seat up
and farted whenever he wanted.

The
end

Please don't tell wife I posted this!

I love it. That is where I messed up.

[rjl78]

Found in my fortune cookie from Yesterday: "A four wheeled adventure will lead to happiness."

Its on the dash of my pickup.

[Sandhills Guru]

For those that don't know about history.....

Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.

They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and 2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer.

This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.

This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.

Those became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water.

They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note:

Most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller.

They eat red meat and still provide for their women.

Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing.

They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.

That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.
And there you have it...

[MusicFreak]

Hey there... I am not from SD, but I liked how the thread sounded...
I'd love to share a smile or two... (or three or three hundred..lol)



Hi Jammie and Debey!!

[debey]

Welcome, MusicFreak!

[MusicFreak]

Thanks Debey... I may be far from home in this thread, but that is okay...
I'd be surrounded by some friends.

[DOUBLE H]

Whazzup Music Freak? Double H here, I post on S.D. every once in a while-friendly site, friendly people!

[DannyBanany]

Sandhills, I'll keep my chardonnay.