questions about adding to my family. (autism, pregnancy, medications, child)

[sincere1782]

I have a 7 year old daughter whom suffers hearing loss due to having bi lateral microtia. I've always seen myself having a large family, the whole white house with a fence and a dog..lol but after having to deal with the stress of interventionists, therepists, surgeries, relocations, ect...i just don't think i want to take the risk of having a second child fearing i may have to go through this all over again..as she is getting older it is getting a little easier and i would love to give her a sibbling. If anyone has had any such experience and would like to share..please do. Did you have another child after your 1st or 2nd was born with a disability? what made you want to have another child? Was i a positive experience? How did you get over your fears, if you had any?

[AnonChick]

Bilateral microtia is a very very rare congenital deformity. You should speak with a geneticist to determine what kind of chance, if any, other children would have it if you were to increase your family size. It isn't really the kind of thing like twins, where it would run in the family and you're likely to have multiple sets with subsequent pregnancies.

One possible good news tidbit - if you were taking accutane any time between conception and birth of your child, it's very possible that as long as you don't take the accutane for your next pregnancy, your next child will be completely unaffected. Accutane is thought to contribute to the frequency of children born with this particular deformity. There are a couple of other medications too but again, you need to speak with a genetecist to be sure.

Lastly, deafness is not something that needs to be cured, or even treated. It -can- be lived with, and there are many people living with deafness and don't consider themselves disabled at all. You'd need to learn and teach your children sign language, and make some adjustments regarding doorbells hooked up to blinking lights and get a teletype phone system if you choose for your child to have telephone access once he's old enough. My neighbor is deaf and has hearing children, and she doesn't seem to suffer for it even remotely. I am hearing impaired, and I have hearing aids but I can't stand them and frankly would prefer to just turn the volume up when I want to listen to music or watch TV, and live in silence otherwise. I can read lips just fine so I don't need to hear people talk, as long as they're facing me when they're talking.

Being deaf is difficult, and definitely involves some adjustments. But it's certainly not a death sentence, nor something that "needs" to be treated, or cured. My reason for posting my response is this: you shouldn't feel like you need to stress yourself out worrying so much about your child's inability to hear. It's heartbreaking for any mom to know their child doesn't have the appropriate "two of everything," but your child *can* learn to grow up happy and healthy and able to function in adult society, with or without her ears.

[sincere1782]

Thank you, I needed to hear that.

[ADVentive]

Are you familiar with the Signing Time series? It's done by Rachel Coleman. Her first daughter Leah was born deaf. Then her second daughter Lucy was born with spina bifida and cerebral palsy. I highly recommend her blog: Rachel Coleman I think she is inspirational.

[vparent]

Originally Posted by sincere1782

Did you have another child after your 1st or 2nd was born with a disability? what made you want to have another child? Was i a positive experience? How did you get over your fears, if you had any?

I have my elder one on autism spectrum, now 3 yr old. 2nd child 9 month, so far doing fine.
I always wanted atleast 2 kids, though 1st one being differently abled, never stoped me from having 2nd child.
I had faith that - God will give me strength to raise them no matter what their needs would be.
So please HAVE FAITH IN GOD, everything will be fine. If you want to have 2nd child, dont worry and enjoy being mother one more time.

-Vparent