U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Special Needs Children
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-25-2007, 12:33 AM
 
25,740 posts, read 25,301,499 times
Reputation: 24337

Advertisements

Try mothering.com. There is a Special Needs Parenting board. There are a lot of parents on that board whose children have an autism diagnosis. It's a very active board. Parents let it all out over there. They also have tons of information on the programs involved.

Huge hugs your way.

Last edited by JerZ; 09-25-2007 at 12:58 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-25-2007, 08:52 PM
 
27 posts, read 84,167 times
Reputation: 16
So sorry to hear about Cierra's diagnosis. There is a lot of reason to hope, though - there are some great suggestions in this thread already.

I'd also suggest looking at Dr. Doris Rapp's books: "Is This Your Child?" and "Is This Your Child's World?" There is new information coming out about alternative medicine, homeopathy, etc that can help autism. It is a lot of work, but can have wonderful results.
Best of luck -
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2007, 11:07 PM
 
Location: Coming soon to a town near YOU!
985 posts, read 2,548,320 times
Reputation: 1501
Autism is more challenging, but it is certainly not all bad and can actually have some up-side since autistic kids can be genius-level in some things (math for example).

Autistic children also look at the world in a different way, which frequently keeps you on your toes, is often quite entertaining, and usually deeply insightful. I work with an autistic boy (I'm a SpecEd teacher in training) and my time with him is very enjoyable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2007, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 11,293,708 times
Reputation: 864
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evlevo View Post
Autism is more challenging, but it is certainly not all bad and can actually have some up-side since autistic kids can be genius-level in some things (math for example).

Autistic children also look at the world in a different way, which frequently keeps you on your toes, is often quite entertaining, and usually deeply insightful. I work with an autistic boy (I'm a SpecEd teacher in training) and my time with him is very enjoyable.

It is good to think of this child as the same child you have always had and to focus on the positive, but I just wanted to point out that only 10% of autistic children have these "genius-level" talents. That doesn't mean they don't have other very positive attributes I'm not saying this is or is not the case here, but just wanted to dispell a common misconception.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2007, 02:54 PM
 
25,740 posts, read 25,301,499 times
Reputation: 24337
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evlevo View Post
Autism is more challenging, but it is certainly not all bad and can actually have some up-side since autistic kids can be genius-level in some things (math for example).

Autistic children also look at the world in a different way, which frequently keeps you on your toes, is often quite entertaining, and usually deeply insightful. I work with an autistic boy (I'm a SpecEd teacher in training) and my time with him is very enjoyable.
Not to be a nit...but it's fun and fascinating and "entertaining" (did you really just say "entertaining?") when it's not your child and you don't have to think about 40 years from now, when you're dead and your child is in a state home in diapers, being abused.

When it is your child, it's a little less of a barrel of laughs or fascinating case study.

Just thought I'd point that out--since this, in my experience, is the single element that is missing across the board among special education teachers (unless they themselves have special needs children): an actual, true understanding of everyday life with these children, of how it must feel to be this child, and of how society treats this child...outside of a four-hours-a-day highly specialized, away-from-the-public-eye, clean, neat little setting.

You may feel you have all the education and training you could need...but from here, it's patently obvious how very much you have to learn.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2007, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Union County, NC
2,115 posts, read 6,443,150 times
Reputation: 1130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evlevo View Post
Autism is more challenging, but it is certainly not all bad and can actually have some up-side since autistic kids can be genius-level in some things (math for example).

Autistic children also look at the world in a different way, which frequently keeps you on your toes, is often quite entertaining, and usually deeply insightful. I work with an autistic boy (I'm a SpecEd teacher in training) and my time with him is very enjoyable.
I love my child dearly but I honestly have never viewed his special needs as enjoyable. Quite frankly, parenting him is exhausting and at the least, a trial in patience and certainly compassion.

My boy's Axis I dx includes Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified, commonly referred to as PDD-NOS, and it is on the autism spectrum. He is also intellectually impaired by traditional standards and unfortunately, if I am not mistaken, the idea that "genius-level" (AKA "savant" or Rain Man Syndrome) capabilities is the norm in even some areas amongst the autism population is largely a myth. I actually cringe when people say to me, "But he's great in Math, right? Or Music?" It's akin to walking up to a tall Black man and making the assumption that he is good at basketball (not even all Black men can jump ). Like every other population there are exceptionalities and people love to focus on that.

My son is a work in progress, very loved and even loving but the OP indeed has a challenging road to tread alongside her daughter. Like any mother, I worried about my other children's future but with this specific son, I get down right panicky and have had to ensure that we have made plans that would enable him to live comfortably, should we not be there to provide for him.

I admire your decision to go into this field of education, certainly, your work is valuable. But your commitment cannot be compared to that of a parent with a special needs child. My job is around-the-clock and respite is some distant fantasy.

Sara
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2007, 06:14 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 3,822,030 times
Reputation: 579
Autism really does run such a spectrum. I'm not sure where your child is considered on the spectrum, I can only speak as someone who has a child who, at age 5, was considered to be high-functioning.

Ages 4-6 were the worst years for us and our family. We struggled to get a diagnosis and never really got needed services, other than what we provided on our own. I simply had no support-it was tough.

I want to encourage you though- Ds is now 11, and no longer fits the criteria for a diagnosis of autism. He is considered to have some autistic features, many of which have faded in the past few years. He does have a genius IQ (140), but still struggles sometimes with simple concepts, particularly in math. He is good in music, but not exceptionally so-however, he does memorize sheet music. He's totally mainstreamed-gets no services. This is both good and bad : )

It was explained to us, by the specialists we saw, that in approx. 20% of kids who are high-functioning at ages 3-5, their autistic features may 'fade' by later childhood, and that is what apparently happened in ds' case. Note that this is in kids who are considered high-functioning to begin with-I'm not suggesting that this happens in all kids. What I'm saying is, things can very well get better for Cierra and your family. If you had told me, when my ds was 5, that at 11, he'd be thriving in middle school, I'd of said you were crazy!!!

At least, now you know what you're dealing with, and can move forward. That was how I felt.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2007, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Penobscot Bay, the best place in Maine!
1,893 posts, read 5,258,028 times
Reputation: 2650
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Not to be a nit...but it's fun and fascinating and "entertaining" (did you really just say "entertaining?") when it's not your child and you don't have to think about 40 years from now, when you're dead and your child is in a state home in diapers, being abused.

When it is your child, it's a little less of a barrel of laughs or fascinating case study.

Just thought I'd point that out--since this, in my experience, is the single element that is missing across the board among special education teachers (unless they themselves have special needs children): an actual, true understanding of everyday life with these children, of how it must feel to be this child, and of how society treats this child...outside of a four-hours-a-day highly specialized, away-from-the-public-eye, clean, neat little setting.

You may feel you have all the education and training you could need...but from here, it's patently obvious how very much you have to learn.
Whoa. Holy hostility, BatGirl. I am amused by my son several times every single day. Does this mean that I am a bad person? He's funny as heck- he has a sarcastic and bizarre sense of humor that I find hillairious. Yeah, parenting him is sometimes hard (as I would imagine it is with all kids at one point or another), but that doesn't mean that I can't have a sense of humor when I am parenting him, regardless of autism.
And as far as teachers not having a true understanding of the day-to-day.. how the heck could they? Should one be required to parent a special needs child before they can become a special education teacher? I understand what you are saying, and yes, it is frustrating to have to continually explain to people what autism means on a day-to-day basis for my son, but I don't get angry at THEM for not knowing. I'm too tired to be that angry all the time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2007, 06:43 PM
 
25,740 posts, read 25,301,499 times
Reputation: 24337
Quote:
Originally Posted by deerislesmile View Post
Whoa. Holy hostility, BatGirl. I am amused by my son several times every single day. Does this mean that I am a bad person? He's funny as heck- he has a sarcastic and bizarre sense of humor that I find hillairious.
How wonderful! It sounds to me as if your child speaks. I'm sure that helps. You are describing laughing with someone (sarcastic/bizarre sense of humor). I would *guess* (but can't be sure) that your son would be what is loosely termed "high-functioning".

You are also, I'm venturing to guess, describing someone with at least nominal self-help skills, social skills (humor) and at least basically normal intelligence.

The poster I was quoting appears to be referring to Rain Man.


Quote:
Originally Posted by deerislesmile View Post
Yeah, parenting him is sometimes hard (as I would imagine it is with all kids at one point or another),
Okay...your son IS high-functioning.


Quote:
Originally Posted by deerislesmile View Post
And as far as teachers not having a true understanding of the day-to-day.. how the heck could they? Should one be required to parent a special needs child before they can become a special education teacher?
It helps.

As a matter of fact, I know a number of parents of special-needs children on my son's campus who are in school for, or are planning to go to school for, future positions in special education.

They have a more compelling reason to do so than that these kids are funny to watch or that they might wind up idiot savants.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deerislesmile View Post
I understand what you are saying, and yes, it is frustrating to have to continually explain to people what autism means on a day-to-day basis for my son, but I don't get angry at THEM for not knowing.
Nor do I. What I *do* get angry at them for, is not knowing, yet presuming to inform me how I "should" feel about being the parent of an autistic child. How funny and interesting I should find it all. That, yes, I do get...well, not mad at, but annoyed with. Is it okay that you are amused by your son? Well, sure. My son is amusing sometimes, too. The times that he's trying to suffocate the baby or is smearing his feces carefully into each of his toys and rubbing it with his nose into the carpet (he is four) aren't among them. Again...I really just have to assume that your son is on the high-functioning end of things. And that is good. Is it wrong of you to be able to laugh at your son's sarcastic and charming wit? No. Is it wrong of me to *not* be chuckling with humor while my son takes off his clothes and smears his sh * t in public and grunting gutterally or high-pitched squealing rather than saying, even one single time, "Mama"? I'd venture to say: Also no. Therefore...my opinions on this particular student teacher's attitude are as valid as yours. And no, she doesn't understand...at least not based on that post. Nor do you, which, again, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Your son is funny. Your child is capable of being funny in the first place. I'm not as much annoyed with you--a layperson--not having an understanding of low-functioning autists, as I am with someone who is going to help mold the future of autists--and not just high-functioning ones.

If this woman expressed such attitudes to me and was my son's teacher, you can bet I'd have something to say about it.

The parent of an autistic child gets used to a lot of things. One thing she never gets used to, is being told, with a chuckle, how she should feel about it--by a person who has absolutely no clue whatsoever.

Last edited by JerZ; 09-26-2007 at 06:57 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-26-2007, 07:33 PM
 
25,740 posts, read 25,301,499 times
Reputation: 24337
Moderator cut: unnecessary
If you didn't know until she was five years old that she was autistic, then it's doubtful Cierra is on the lower end of the spectrum. I just wanted to put that in because the above is more selfish on my part...and you are looking for help and hope. For you, I believe there is, based on what you've related, probably hope, a lot of it. Even we have hope...a little of it. Good luck and please do look for that mothering.com forum. You will get concrete answers there...and nobody will tell you how to feel...ever.

Last edited by Sam I Am; 09-27-2007 at 05:59 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Special Needs Children
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:04 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top