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Old 09-22-2012, 06:00 PM
 
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He is transforming into a very much regular child, albeit on his own schedule. If I had to describe it in one sentence, it feels like he is 2 years behind the schedule, exactly. He's 7.5 now and the slow transformation has been happening in the last 1.5 years. Less and less problematic (toddler-like) behavior in stores. More increased capability to listen to the reason. To the itinerary of our trips. Increased ability to self-reflect and see his own behavior (instead of blaming everything on everybody else). It feels now that we are out of toddlerhood and I have a perfectly capable 5yo...... In the great scheme of things, being 2 years behind (some) schedule is not a big deal.

When he was 3 in pre-school, he was more like around 1.5-2yo, and eventually pulled out. (Now looking back I see that, but at the time I was expecting a 3 yo behavior from him, and it was frustrating). When he went to school at 5, he had exactly a 3yo inability to listen and focus. He was dxd with high-functioning autism at 4.9, with some areas above and some below the norm. He had some accommodations at school (a few kids with a couple of teachers) which was great at the time - as it would be for a 3-4 years old. But it started to feel limiting as he grew more able but the school format was not willing to change.

In short, I have a very able and intelligent little guy here with an ability for math and an uncanny sense of people and their inner desires. I think boys in general can be a bit slow in early development, and we in particular fell into the trap of finding a syndrome, when there was not much to worry about - all that needed was patience.
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Old 09-22-2012, 06:27 PM
 
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He was 2 years behind before, and he's still two years behind. I understand that a 5 year old is much easier to get along with than a 3 year old, but in your own explanation there has been no growth. Don't get me wrong I'm glad he is doing better, and I do think you should push for him to be in a less restrictive environment in school if that is what you think he needs, but remember the other kids in the class won't be 2 years behind.
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Old 09-22-2012, 06:34 PM
 
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Default Autism

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Originally Posted by Spazkat9696 View Post
He was 2 years behind before, and he's still two years behind. I understand that a 5 year old is much easier to get along with than a 3 year old, but in your own explanation there has been no growth. Don't get me wrong I'm glad he is doing better, and I do think you should push for him to be in a less restrictive environment in school if that is what you think he needs, but remember the other kids in the class won't be 2 years behind.
If he always is 2 years behind, the older he gets, the less of gap that is. At 4, it is 1/2 your life, at 20, it he like he is 18, well, you will hardly notice.

That being said, my niece is autistic, although she was pretty verbal and she interacted with people a lot. When her parents first told us, the reaction was "Are you sure?"

The older she gets, the less autistic she seems. She is still behind for her age in school, but most people think she is younger than she and not that she is autistic.
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Old 09-22-2012, 06:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Onthevergeofanervous View Post
If he always is 2 years behind, the older he gets, the less of gap that is. At 4, it is 1/2 your life, at 20, it he like he is 18, well, you will hardly notice.

That being said, my niece is autistic, although she was pretty verbal and she interacted with people a lot. When her parents first told us, the reaction was "Are you sure?"

The older she gets, the less autistic she seems. She is still behind for her age in school, but most people think she is younger than she and not that she is autistic.
I realize that as I am in the same boat as the OP. I really do hope this little guy is able to be successful in a typical classroom. I just know that kids can be mean to the kid that's "different".
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Old 09-22-2012, 06:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Onthevergeofanervous View Post
The older she gets, the less autistic she seems. She is still behind for her age in school, but most people think she is younger than she and not that she is autistic.
How old is your niece? I feel the same way: the older he gets, the more regular he seems. With that curve, by 17 yo there will be not much to worry about.
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Old 09-22-2012, 06:54 PM
 
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Default Autism

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Originally Posted by nuala View Post
How old is your niece? I feel the same way: the older he gets, the more regular he seems. With that curve, by 17 yo there will be not much to worry about.
She is 8 now, you would just think she was about 1st grade, you would not think she was autistic. She speaks like a younger child, but she is not shy if she knows you,

She has intense fears, like swimming pools and bugs, to a level that seems odd.
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Old 09-22-2012, 07:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Onthevergeofanervous View Post
She is 8 now, you would just think she was about 1st grade, you would not think she was autistic. She speaks like a younger child, but she is not shy if she knows you,

She has intense fears, like swimming pools and bugs, to a level that seems odd.
Perfectly know the odd level of fears. The june bugs in particular when he was 2, the level of screaming! Can your niece swim, is it just pools and not other bodies of water? Son outgrew most of them, and the last one, the fear of dogs, (that was debilitating his and our lives for the last 5 years), has been intentionally eliminated by facing it: getting a puppy, 5 months ago, of a breed that would grow a very large dog to beat all future encounters. The plan has worked: the puppy is now 7 months old, the size of a good grown Lab, and being used to it, my son suddenly realizes that all dogs are not monsters but creatures after playing and food.

Yes, his speaking is young-ish, too. I decided to homeschool him this year (2nd grade) - partially because of the inability of his school to work with him appropriately, and partially because we'll be leaving the area anyway. I feel that it will be beneficial for us to NOT mention anything in new school, to make him feel a regular kid in a regular class.
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Old 09-22-2012, 07:13 PM
 
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Default Autism

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Originally Posted by nuala View Post
Perfectly know the odd level of fears. The june bugs in particular when he was 2, the level of screaming! Can yur niece swim? Son outgrew most of them, and the last one, the fear of dogs, (that was debilitating his and our lives for the last 5 years), has been intentionally eliminated by facing it: getting a puppy, 5 months ago, of a breed that would grow a very large dog to beat all future encounters. The plan has worked: the puppy is now 7 months old, the size of a good grown Lab, and being used to it, my son suddenly realizes that all dogs are not monsters but creatures after playing and food.

Yes, his speaking is young-ish, too. I decided to homeschool him this year (2nd grade) - partially because of the inability of his school to work with him appropriately, and partially because we'll be leaving the area anyway. I feel that it will be beneficial for us to NOT mention anything in new school, to make him feel a regular kid in a regular class.

She is just learning to swim and is more fearful than most kids. She has always been around animals, but small ones. She goes to a special school, year around and seems to like it and do well. Like I said, you would just think she was younger than she is.
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Old 09-22-2012, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
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'Experts' are not always expert. My nephew was told that he was autistic..The rammed him into their system...when he was very young- they also insisted that he had an attention disorder..The kid is just an artist at heart...finally my brother and I fought to get him of these insidious drug...we insisted that he be brought in the mainstream...now he is a young teenager..going to a regular school..He has friends and is doing well...He LOVES the fact that he is no longer conditioned and treated like some idiot...Yes he's an odd kid and appears eccentric...but he has a curse...Intelligence...and some don't like that..

On the other had years back my wife used to drive special needs kids to school...I went along for the ride one time...for the pick ups...One fairly severely autistic kid was sitting there. He never spoke..The kid was carrying a cherry pie that he had baked for his mother...I looked him straight in the eye..and asked him about the pie--I did not patronize him..I was totally honest without prejudice..The boy responded with a pretty detailed reply ...People were surprised that he was talking to me...with some "autistic" kids...They sense if you are dishonest -and they simply want nothing to do with jerks- so they shut off and stay in their own world...My daughter was hired to take care of one autistic boy...My daughter is a petty bright young woman...The parents are pleased because the boy she babysits ....is responding to her..>She does not attempt to go into his world- she drags him into OUR world whether he likes it or not.


You have to be careful...with the "experts"...some are overly institutionalized- every child is unique...If my brother had listened to the self serving experts regarding his son- They system would have utterly destroyed him...Now he is going to have a relatively normal life...because we simply did not put our faith fully in EXPERTS.
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Old 09-22-2012, 07:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
You have to be careful...with the "experts"...some are overly institutionalized- every child is unique...If my brother had listened to the self serving experts regarding his son- They system would have utterly destroyed him...
I feel that I have glimpsed into the dark abyss of a certain path that starts with good intentions but turns into a narrow canyon with a label on your forehead forever.... Once you are labelled, it's hard to get off that track. And borderline autistic kids are mimickers: you put them with regular kids, they will be mimicking regular behavior. They benefit from being in a regular class.

I am not sure I am willing to fight to get that label off of us (though I feel for the parents who have to do it). I am choosing the path of disappearing off their radar... We'll go to a few foreign places, learn a few languages. When we get back, we'll be in the middle school, with some unusual experiences under our belt, and with a history of being in regular classes.
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