Potty training for a 4 yr. old diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (functioning, mentally)

[Rainy33]

I have been a special education teacher for 18 years. The majority of those years I have been the preschool special needs teacher. With the autistic children I have found that it is all about schedule, patience and attitude. Some kids love being in the bathroom ( I had one child who would actually stand in the toilet shoes and all whenever his aide was a substitute) and some won't cross the threshold for quite some time. You need to read the signals your child gives you. If he will go in and sit, you can get him on a schedule. We had a laminated pic. 2" x2" of a toilet that hung on the bathroom door. At first we would give it to the child and then proceed to direct them to the bathroom. We did this every 1/2 hour. No pressure,just sit, chat, look at books etc.. After awhile (This can go on for what seems like eternity !!!) the child knows where the pic is and you can direct him to go get it every 1/2 hour and then follow the routine after another eternity he will more then likely go get it himself. Best of luck to you. Nuture your patience. Hug your child... things could always be worse

[Oobie119]

As long as you have a strict schedule going it should work eventually. It just may take alot of time. Hopefully you have a posted daily schedule, just incorporate it into the schedule using a picture of a toilet, or bathroom. Do it Frequently, say every half hour or hour. Since he's not used to it, it may be hard at first. Once he learns the schedule though I think it'll work. I also second the opinion that NO PULL UPS.. get him some big boy underwear with spiderman or something. Make a big deal out of taking him shopping to pick them out and reinforce that he cant potty in them. Positive reinforcment would work too with stickers (depending on how sensitive his tactile senses are)..Good luck, potty training is never easy but you are getting some great tips!

[Oobie119]

Originally Posted by tinman01

My daughter took the better part of 18 years... She would use the toilet to pee but was so retentive about bowl movements. She would hold and hold until a little would escape at a time in her pants.
Then the nightmare:
She stopped drinking fluids....
To the doctor we went. She lived with her mom and well thats all I'll say about that.
She was impacted to the size of a softball....
Her bowl was torn and she needed surgery. 5 gallons of that Colite stuff later she was finally cleaned out. She had to have a tube put into her stomach and we gave her fluids through that. Not her mom of course because the tube isn't natural. ( 3 different doctors filed medical neglect complaints against mom) ( Children and youth services didn't assign any case numbers).
NICE...
I ended up taking her from the home and fighting a bunch of legal battles. She is now mine alone.
She is now toilet trained completely. She drinks fluids with the best of us.
A book I would recommend. Autism a fathers story by Bill Davis. Absolutely the best book I have yet to read on autism.

You are a great father to recognize the harm that was being done. You are a hero to your daughter, and to me. I look at you and see what so many dads in similar situations could do, but don't have the emotional strenghth or the courage. Good for you and God Bless!

[haddonmojo]

It took my son untill he was nine. I thought it would never happen. The school could not help me because he would hold it all day. I had a team come into the house to help me. First we started with just getting him to sit. We let him read books. Watch movies anything to get him used to sitting on the toilet. He loved to go to Mcdonalds and to blockbuster. We made a picture story of when he went he could get these treats. After about 2 weeks of no Mcdonalds and Blockbuster he made the conection. He came up and handed me the Mcdonalds card and I explained you have to go on the potty. He was pretty insistant so I went and checked just on the off chance he had gone and he had done it all by himself. So after about 2 weeks of running him to Mcdonalds and Blockbuster (and sure that he got it). We then switched to a prize box and then faded that out. I thought he would be in pullups forever but it just took a lot of time and patience and again I thought he would never make the connection but it jut took a lot of sitting him and then making a huge fuss over him when he finally started going. I hope this helps and I wish you luck.

[wanderintonc]

I have a son who has SPD and autistic features (this was diagnosed at age 8, first eval we had, it was explained to us that if he had been eval'd at 3 or 4 he probably would have been diagnosed as autism-most of this has since 'faded' in him) and he also was incredibly difficult to toilet train. He would get involved in lining up his wooden trains, and refuse to disengage to toilet (or eat or speak or look at you, lol.) I had a toddler too (who was 18 mo younger and already trained at this time!) and was pregnant, so was kinda overwhelmed...he was 4 and not trained.
I finally ended up-and this probably sounds so mean-taking away those prized trains for a whole day if he did not use the potty (which was right there in the same room). No Thomas the Tank Engine videos either. This happened several times before he finally 'got it'. When he did, I got him some Thomas undies, and made him understand that if they got pooped while playing with trains, they'd go away.

Once he got trained, he was really successful-it was just hard getting there. He really wasn't motivated, until I got his 'special interest' involved. I should say, he's now an 11 yo who has created for himself a strict routine of showering daily-I guess he wasn't overly traumatized in the bathroom in those early years LOL.

[JerZ]

We were casual about potty training but we did have a system (that worked for us, anyway). We decided that about once a month, C would be in just underwear--no Pull-Ups--for one weekend, or if there was a school vacation, then for however long the vacation was.

Now what we did have in our favor was that C was bothered by wet Pull-Ups. However, he would just casually strip them off, leave them on the floor, and pull another pair on.

When I started the just-underwear weekends, the first time was over Thanksgiving vacation. Honestly, C wet about two pairs of underwear an hour. I was crying at times. But his teacher was insistent, because he was already over four. (He had turned four in July.)

The next time was Christmas break. Oddly, it was an autistic characteristic that helped, though we didn't intend it that way. I told C at one point that he was out of shorts and he'd have to walk around the house in just underwear. He FREAKED. But he seriously was out of pants--there was nothing I could do. I had all his pants in the washer. For some reason unknown to us, C could not stand having the underwear on but no pants on. I didn't want to be cruel, and was about to put a Pull-Up on him, when C literally amazed us by running to the bathroom and peeing in the toilet. And that was that. He was basically trained from that point on.

But remember--he was four and a half. You're right. It is harder to train an autistic child. All I can tell you is that this system worked for us. Just the decision to do it once a month for a couple/few days, then back to Pull-Ups. I had pretty much decided that if he was trained at five or six, that was all good with me. I think you (we) as autistic parents need to use everything at your disposal--like the sites someone posted above--but at the same time, realize that so many of us go through this as parents of autistic children. Autistic kids do tend to train late...that's just the way it is. Good luck to you guys.

[NOEM1226]

Originally Posted by bls5555

Help!!!!

We are struggling with getting our 4 yr. old potty trained. He is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder and it really doesn't seem to bother him when he has an accident. Anyone have any tips?

Although my son does not have autism, he was not fully potty trained until a month before his fifth birthday.He is now 10.

I remember how frustrating this would be. It was a terrible mess to clean up but the worst part was the judgment passed by other parents whose 18 month olds were in underwear.

At one point, I was so upset and thought that either I was doing something wrong or that something was wrong with my child- so I saw 2 different pediatricians about this. The second one asked me "have you ever seen a 1st grader in a diaper?" and I said no and the Dr. said "exactly". He help me understand that sometimes potty training is not a deadline that anyone can set besides the child.
With my second child I adopted the "when it happens, it happens attitude"-she potty trained at 20 months on her own.
So although I am not too familiar with autism- I just wanted you to know that even parents without the challenges you face struggle with this. Hang in there!

[bls5555]

Originally Posted by NOEM1226

Although my son does not have autism, he was not fully potty trained until a month before his fifth birthday.He is now 10.

I remember how frustrating this would be. It was a terrible mess to clean up but the worst part was the judgment passed by other parents whose 18 month olds were in underwear.

At one point, I was so upset and thought that either I was doing something wrong or that something was wrong with my child- so I saw 2 different pediatricians about this. The second one asked me "have you ever seen a 1st grader in a diaper?" and I said no and the Dr. said "exactly". He help me understand that sometimes potty training is not a deadline that anyone can set besides the child.
With my second child I adopted the "when it happens, it happens attitude"-she potty trained at 20 months on her own.
So although I am not too familiar with autism- I just wanted you to know that even parents without the challenges you face struggle with this. Hang in there!

Im really trying !!!!!

It's not so much the potty training anymore!!! YAY!!!! Now we are running into other problems !!!! Haha. I just started another post about it! It's frustrating most of the time but the satisfaction that will be felt when we finally work through the problems (I know it will happen) will be something I will carry to the grave.

[njb867]

I have a 4 year old boy who will turn 5 June 29th. He has not yet been diagnosed with autism but the school has evaluated him with "autism like behaviors." He is very high functioning and very bright, but he refuses to do #2 in the toilet. #1 is no problem, but I am at my wits end. Any help will be appreciated.

[cohdane]

My son has (among other things) a lot in common with kids who have Asperger's. He never cried as a baby when he soiled or wet himself and certainly didn't care as he got older. What finally worked for him was this non-judgmental, matter-of-fact approach that we tried just as he was getting to an age when were phasing out naps:

1. If he peed or pooped on the potty he got ice cream. (One whole melon-ball scoop full! He never had ice cream otherwise.)

2. If he peed or pooped in his pants, he got a nap because-- as I would explain sympathetically-- "It must mean you're too tired to remember to use the potty."

Each day would begin with the question, "What do you get if you use the potty?" "Icecream!" "What do you get if you go in your pants?" "A nap."

"Okay, it's your choice."

Definitely wouldn't work for every kid, but we'd tried a lot of other things first and this is what finally sealed the deal.

GOOD LUCK!