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Old 12-29-2013, 12:39 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,635 times
Reputation: 10

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So over feeling judged by others. I am doing my absolute best. No I'm not perfect, but damn it this is hard. It hurts worse when it comes from family members.

This is just one more way parents of children with disabilities get the short end of the stick. No matter what we do outsiders think they could do it better. Or that it's our fault our children are struggling. You know what....they can all bite my *****.

It's a struggle daily just to survive.
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Old 12-29-2013, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,018,492 times
Reputation: 51113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autism mom of 4 View Post
So over feeling judged by others. I am doing my absolute best. No I'm not perfect, but damn it this is hard. It hurts worse when it comes from family members.

This is just one more way parents of children with disabilities get the short end of the stick. No matter what we do outsiders think they could do it better. Or that it's our fault our children are struggling. You know what....they can all bite my *****.

It's a struggle daily just to survive.
I am sorry that you are feeling judged by others. Is it possible that you need some time away from your child/children? Perhaps your family members wouldn't be so quick to judge you if they knew more about the special needs of your child/children. Can they babysit so you can have some time for yourself to "recharge your batteries"?

I know several parents of children with special needs whose parents (the grandparents) provide regular overnight care on weekends so that the parents can have a break. Just something else to consider.

Ask your child's teachers or school social worker if there are any agencies that provide respite care for special needs children. Sometimes just a few hours a week can make a huge difference. Or maybe you could get help on a daily basis (for example, every evening help with bedtime routines). The services available vary dramatically from state to state, area to area and a lot depends on how severely handicapped the child is.

Good luck to you.

PS. Sometimes even a simple change can make a big difference. As an example, a number of years ago the parent of one of my special needs students had some serious health problems and could not walk the block to the regular bus stop and wait with her young children before school and walk to meet them after school.
I was able to get the school district to change the bus stop to right in front of her house so she only had to go out to the porch. So think about things that would help you be more successful with your child/children and see if you can get that help.
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Old 12-31-2013, 09:16 AM
 
3,070 posts, read 5,216,416 times
Reputation: 6578
Yep, I hear you. Awful mom with a brat, maybe I should stamp autistic on his forehead. Yet, he is not my only child and I get so many comments about how well-behaved the other is - so why do they think I'm a terrible mom?
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Old 01-01-2014, 01:08 PM
 
4,749 posts, read 4,307,139 times
Reputation: 4965
I babysit a boy with Autism and I took him out to eat one evening. Oh, my gosh! It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do with him. Everyone was judging me and it didn't help that I'm a college student wearing my school hoodie. I felt like people thought I was some young mom with an out of control child.

Ever since that day, I stopped judging moms.
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Old 01-02-2014, 03:25 PM
 
1,831 posts, read 4,424,133 times
Reputation: 1262
OP, I cosign. I know how you feel, because you get a lot of judgment but probably little to no offers of help.

Regarding respite care, see if your state has a rolling access fund program, where you can apply for funding for services such as respite care. Hang in there.
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Old 01-02-2014, 03:34 PM
 
Location: sumter
12,950 posts, read 9,580,376 times
Reputation: 10412
Just do your best and don't worry about what others have to say or think. But, I do agree with others, you can use a break and some personal down time for yourself. Hang in there, things will get better.
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