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Old 01-13-2014, 01:04 PM
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My son is almost 4 (in a few months) and I have been trying to toilet train him since June - yep, about 7 months. At first, it went okay - he could do about 30-40% of the time, he would run to the potty and yell pee. He had raisins as a reward. Then it completely stopped. We switched to m&ms, and he did well again (about 40% of the time), then I quit the m&ms because the sugar. He stopped. Tried m&m's, potty dances, a train (his favourite), nothing.

Now he makes it to the toilet maybe 1 out of every 20 times, no joke. He will just stand and stare at his pees, hides his poos (although he has stopped a few weeks ago), will just dance in his own ****.

So, I have no idea what to do. Even though he can sometimes yell pee pee, I guess he is not ready??? I am tired of cleaning up 90% of pee and poos all over my floor. I hate to stop once I've started, but he hasn't grasped it.

I have read kids on the spectrum can take much longer. He is diagnosed PDD-NOS.

His younger brother is already getting to the toilet sometimes and is just past 1 - I don't think I'm screwing up toilet training, I think he just might not be suited to it yet.
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Old 01-13-2014, 03:15 PM
Location: central Oregon
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He will eventually get the hang of it. Just keep trying (but without the candy rewards). Just letting him know his body will feel better after he uses the bathroom is enough of a reward for anyone.

Hang in there... my son (Asperger's) was not completely potty trained until he was 8 years old. He NEVER, EVER used the bathroom at school and would have accidents a few times a week on the way home. Sometime during his 8th year he decided peeing his pants was not cool, so he finally decided to master the skill of going at school and/or holding it much better.
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Old 01-13-2014, 04:59 PM
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Hang in there. I have a friend whose son has the same diagnosis as yours. He was nine before he was potty trained.
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Old 01-17-2014, 01:15 PM
Location: Needham, MA
6,479 posts, read 9,647,762 times
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My son is a little more than 3 and also has PDD-NOS. We recently started trying to potty train him, but decided to hold off as he just wasn't getting it. Instead, we've decided to take a much more gentle, long term approach. I'm sure our son like your son will get it when he's ready. Until then, he'll be in pull ups with an occasional bathroom trip. I'm confident that will happen well before he's 9. According to my wife, the average boy is not potty trained until 3 1/2 so if your son is not trained at 4 there's nothing wrong with that IMO.

As an aside . . . the thing that kills me about this diagnosis is that every kid who has it seems to have a different set of issues and different levels of severity. It's kind of a "catch all" diagnosis and is basically a bucket they toss these kids into because they don't have a more specific diagnosis.
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Old 01-24-2014, 11:19 AM
Location: Virginia
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Are you getting ABA Therapy? Your therapist will help you potty train him. Behavior Analyst Certification Board is the international registry for BCBAs. I am sure there are some locals in your area that can consult with you too.
Sounds like you are on the right track. I also suggest reading "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day," by Azrin.
Good luck!
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Old 01-26-2014, 06:09 PM
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With our son he didn't "get" the idea of the potty for a long time. Pull-ups are a life saver.

One day (almost 5) it was like a light bulb switched on & he suddenly was fine using the potty during the day.

He still needed pull-ups at bedtime for quite some time, because he would pee during sleep & it just wouldn't wake him up.

Let him wear pull-ups, don't make a big deal about it, and one day it will just happen. The more you try to force the issue, the more he may regress.
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Old 02-04-2014, 11:05 AM
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My child didn't get it till he was in school. He learned to go potty from watching other children go potty. It didn't matter how much he saw that we use the toilet we were not small like him. Sometimes the best intervention is to let your 4-5 year old learn from other 4-5 year olds. Just make sure to enlist the help of the other child's parents. Most 4-5 year olds don't care if the door is open when they go potty or if someone is watching them but be sure to respect their wishes if they don't.

Also if your having a problem with wetting the bed, put a plastic mattress cover on the bed then either wake him up after about 4 hours of sleep. You need to teach your child that they have to wake themselves up during the night to go potty and first you need to train their body to wait to go. Don't worry it will come for you. Just be patient and full of hopeful love.

Most of all remember don't sweat (the small stuff loll) anything. Whats important is your child's happiness and quality of life. If you have those then all else will fall into place!
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:14 PM
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Thank you everyone for the assistance

We have discontinued potty training (some potty trips but nothing expected) and he has been much happier. We will just wait.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by aliss2 View Post
Thank you everyone for the assistance

We have discontinued potty training (some potty trips but nothing expected) and he has been much happier. We will just wait.
Good decision, IMHO

Also, some kids' bladders just aren't ready for potty training, especially in boys, they sometimes have to grow a bit more for the bladder to catch up.
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Old 03-07-2014, 12:43 PM
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I just came across this and while my 3 year-old is not special needs, I too was at my wit's end potty-training him. I started last summer with the cold-turkey method and it worked...for 2 weeks. I tried on and off with no success. Then during MLK Jr weekend, I decided I just had to try again and got my husband to help since he was staying home for the holiday.

Wow, he was such a huge help! Can you have someone help you? What my husband suggested was that we give son a fun activity to do on the seat. He had refused to even go near the toilet at this point, but the iPad did the trick.

Next, when we would ask him if he needed to potty, he'd say "no", only to have an accident a few minutes later. Hubby suggested the kitchen timer--bingo! Every time he hears the timer go off, whether he's playing, watching tv or is engrossed in an activity, he runs off and we all race with him to the toilet. Sometimes he goes, sometimes he doesn't, but that timer has never failed.

He's now potty-trained and can graduate from the nursery at Sunday school and he can attend Vacation Bible School this summer. I used pull-ups on him when I was super busy with work--I work from home, and the pull ups were a life-saver.

I'm glad you're taking a break, but when you're ready to train him again and want to use some sort of M&M type treat for him, you might want to try Spry candy. It's like a Skittles, so no chocolate, but it's not made with sugar or other man-made sugars. It's xylitol, a natural sugar that won't cause tooth decay. My son was fine when I replaced candy with this.

Potty-training has been so hard for me, but hang in there. He will get it when he's ready. Blessings!
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