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I over heard a woman in the line at the store saying "Those children are so special (and she was referencing a downs syndrome baby) and she was saying 'Just think one day we wont have those defective genes " and they will be able to fix that . I was floored and angry and I turned around and told her , who says they are defective ? who says they need to fix that as you put it , then she had the nerve to say "they are not normal " . I asked her what is normal ? who are the normal police ? . I told her I had a down syndrome brother he lived to be 25 yrs old before he started having health problem and I mean bad ones and he unfortunately passed away and we still miss and I don't believe there was a sweet soul on this earth . I told her I think you should spend some time volunteering for something dealing with down syndrome kids I hope she takes my advice and does so . I think it will do a world of good for her . I mean what is it with people and their thinking ? I cannot fathom someone thinking like that . I tend to get angry when stuff like that is said .
Down syndrome is a genetic disorder caused when abnormal cell division results in extra genetic material from chromosome 21. This genetic disorder, which varies in severity, causes lifelong intellectual disability and developmental delays, and in some people it causes health problems.
Down syndrome is the most common genetic chromosomal disorder and cause of learning disabilities in children.
Sorry about your personal story, but having down syndrome is NOT normal and it IS a genetic defect. And wouldn't it have been awesome if they fixed that and your brother would have been able to live longer?
I don't understand your anger. Your pain, yes, but not your anger. She did not say or mean it in a bad way.
BTW you are posting in the forum "special needs children" and not "normal needs children"
Well, technically people with DS have a duplicate chromosome, but the chromosomes themselves are "normal" - it's just the replication which leads to the typical traits of DS, not all of which necessarily appear in a given individual. There are various kinds of DS, too, including mosaic Down syndrome, in which intelligence may not be adversely affected.
OP, I'm sorry the woman you encountered was ill-informed and insensitive. Perhaps in the future, you can use such encounters as opportunities to educate others about DS, as there is still so little awareness of the potential and variety of people with this condition. I expect many would be surprised to learn that various (not all) people with DS not only have jobs, but attend college, drive, marry, and live fulfilling, happy lives.
We have a son with Down syndrome that we adopted when he was 4 weeks old. I understand why the OP was upset especially since she lost her brother at such a young age.
The only one with the defect was the woman making the comment loud enough for others to hear about her thoughts on "normal". She was "normal" and that just supports my thought that "normal" is overrated. "Normal" has a range.
My son is medication free, not on drugs, no criminal record, is planning any massacre of other individuals, and a lot of parents of "normal" kids can't say that.
So?
Down Syndrome is not "normal" but it is life it happens.
I don't know how real this is since I saw almost the exact same since on a show on abc family.
I do believe if many pregnant women had the option to change the outcome their child might have they would.
Down Syndrome is not "normal" but it is life it happens.
I don't know how real this is since I saw almost the exact same since on a show on abc family.
I do believe if many pregnant women had the option to change the outcome their child might have they would.
Sadly, many women do change the outcome by choosing to abort the baby. That is what troubles me the most. Every negative story or incident in the media makes it more likely.
Adoption is the best option. There is a group that facilitates adoptions for babies/children with Down syndrome and they have a list with lots of names across the US of families that have completed their homestudies and are just waiting for a call about a baby/child that they can add to their family: National Down Syndrome Adoption Network I know for a fact that this agency is a good service for parents considering placing their child.
I over heard a woman in the line at the store saying "Those children are so special (and she was referencing a downs syndrome baby) and she was saying 'Just think one day we wont have those defective genes " and they will be able to fix that . I was floored and angry and I turned around and told her , who says they are defective ? who says they need to fix that as you put it , then she had the nerve to say "they are not normal " . I asked her what is normal ? who are the normal police ? . I told her I had a down syndrome brother he lived to be 25 yrs old before he started having health problem and I mean bad ones and he unfortunately passed away and we still miss and I don't believe there was a sweet soul on this earth . I told her I think you should spend some time volunteering for something dealing with down syndrome kids I hope she takes my advice and does so . I think it will do a world of good for her . I mean what is it with people and their thinking ? I cannot fathom someone thinking like that . I tend to get angry when stuff like that is said .
Sorry for your loss of your brother...But, I think you personalized a strangers comment because of your experience with your brother.
I took this comment as I would a comment about wishing there wasn't illnesses like polio or TB.
Downs syndrome is not a desired situation, it is very hard on children and families...it does not mean we don't love them, adore them, or wish they didn't exist. But, being angry because someone wished that we could cure this is not a horrible attack on down syndrome children imo.
Would you begrudge someone the ability to save their child from this. After all we have ongoing research and programs trying to prevent birth defects, March of Dimes one example...In my mind there would be nothing negative about what she said, especially since she was not talking to you...just that you are understandably hypersensitive.
I think you may need to talk to someone about your brother, and grieve his loss. It is devastating to lose a sibling....
We have a son with Down syndrome that we adopted when he was 4 weeks old. I understand why the OP was upset especially since she lost her brother at such a young age.
The only one with the defect was the woman making the comment loud enough for others to hear about her thoughts on "normal". She was "normal" and that just supports my thought that "normal" is overrated. "Normal" has a range.
My son is medication free, not on drugs, no criminal record, is planning any massacre of other individuals, and a lot of parents of "normal" kids can't say that.
So?
Defensive....You need to work on acceptance, so that your child can be the best that he can be. Educate him about his disorder, give him positive guidance....not negative and defensive modeling. That serves no purpose that will help him long term.
Last edited by JanND; 11-11-2015 at 10:33 PM..
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