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Old 05-29-2016, 10:17 AM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
9,512 posts, read 6,018,974 times
Reputation: 28830

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I don't think it sounds like he should be outside by himself, at least not until this behavior stops.
My 12 year old son has Autism but it's not that "high-functioning" Autism that people talk about all the time.
He was diagnosed as "Severe" at age 3 and while he continues to amaze me with his capacity to learn, he remains profoundly impaired.

If your neighbors allow him outdoors without supervision I'm assuming he is in that "higher-functioning" group, because if any of MY neighbors saw my son outside alone they'd be running to find me!

I'm sorry you are having this issue, it sounds like you are understanding and tolerant, more so than many people would be!

It sounds like his actions are reoccuring and repetitive & this means "talking to him about it" will not help at all. It simply is what he will be drawn to do every time he walks outside.
He will agree to stop & may understand that he SHOULD stop but he won't be able to.

The parents need to provide an equally seductive replacement, if I had to guess (which I am!) I'd bet a tetherball pole would work.

It swings & spins. It's rythmic & provides that auditory "thunk" sound similar to the way the side of your house sounds when he throws stuff at it.

He would also benefit from the social interaction that playing tetherball provides & a boost to his self esteem too.

Seriously, I dare anyone to take on an Autistic who spends hours every day at the tetherball pole..it can't be done they will win every time & it's awsome because they are not used to being the winners much!

The part about him getting in your blind spot made me shake my head..I wish I had a tip but this is sooo weird...HOW do they do this?

My son would plow right through couples holding hands (except my hands are ON him all times) or head first into traffic without a flinch but yet has this inate sense of how to drift to my side in crowds & into my blind spot! I can hold his wrist in my hand & still not be able to SEE him!
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Old 05-29-2016, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
4,053 posts, read 8,217,149 times
Reputation: 8040
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
I don't think it sounds like he should be outside by himself, at least not until this behavior stops.
My 12 year old son has Autism but it's not that "high-functioning" Autism that people talk about all the time.
He was diagnosed as "Severe" at age 3 and while he continues to amaze me with his capacity to learn, he remains profoundly impaired.

If your neighbors allow him outdoors without supervision I'm assuming he is in that "higher-functioning" group, because if any of MY neighbors saw my son outside alone they'd be running to find me!

I'm sorry you are having this issue, it sounds like you are understanding and tolerant, more so than many people would be!

It sounds like his actions are reoccuring and repetitive & this means "talking to him about it" will not help at all. It simply is what he will be drawn to do every time he walks outside.
He will agree to stop & may understand that he SHOULD stop but he won't be able to.

The parents need to provide an equally seductive replacement, if I had to guess (which I am!) I'd bet a tetherball pole would work.

It swings & spins. It's rythmic & provides that auditory "thunk" sound similar to the way the side of your house sounds when he throws stuff at it.

He would also benefit from the social interaction that playing tetherball provides & a boost to his self esteem too.

Seriously, I dare anyone to take on an Autistic who spends hours every day at the tetherball pole..it can't be done they will win every time & it's awsome because they are not used to being the winners much!

The part about him getting in your blind spot made me shake my head..I wish I had a tip but this is sooo weird...HOW do they do this?

My son would plow right through couples holding hands (except my hands are ON him all times) or head first into traffic without a flinch but yet has this inate sense of how to drift to my side in crowds & into my blind spot! I can hold his wrist in my hand & still not be able to SEE him!
Good suggestion!
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:25 PM
 
17,103 posts, read 11,948,240 times
Reputation: 17044
Yeah, trying to be as tolerant as possible now. He's never spoken that we have heard. Won't respond to us. The mother seems mostly exasperated when we talk to her. Ackowledges the problem and says they'll have a talk with him. The other kids are always flying off the handle screaming around the yard from near sun up to sun down. Their 2 dogs are left outside full time and need some behavior training too. The parents definitely seem overwhelmed. We cannot open our windows without having the tv/stereo up pretty loud to drown them out.

They do have an extensive tree fort, swing, etc in the back yard. The tether ball may be a good idea. However, parents rarely respond well to those without children trying to give them parenting advice. But I'll try to bring it up in the next conversation.
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Old 05-30-2016, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Kansas
25,601 posts, read 21,772,537 times
Reputation: 26187
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Have you dealt much with autism? I'm guessing not, if you aren't clued in to how ineffective this approach would likely be.
It would help protect the OP by having the police report. The child should be protected by the parents who are not doing their job as parents. I have a child with special needs and have known many. It is parents like the OP is talking about that make it hard for other parents.

If talking to the parents did not resolve the situation, I would have a police report.

OP should not be involved in how to deal with autism but in protecting themselves and their rental property. The child is the responsibility of the parents.
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Old 05-30-2016, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,268,292 times
Reputation: 53066
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
It would help protect the OP by having the police report. The child should be protected by the parents who are not doing their job as parents. I have a child with special needs and have known many. It is parents like the OP is talking about that make it hard for other parents.

If talking to the parents did not resolve the situation, I would have a police report.

OP should not be involved in how to deal with autism but in protecting themselves and their rental property. The child is the responsibility of the parents.
I agree that unsolicited autism interventions are not the place of a neighbor. I also agree that they need to focus on protecting the property, and informing the landlord that it is being damaged by a disabled child who is improperly supervised and have the landlord handle any action taken.

What I was referring to in my post as being ineffective was yelling and requiring an autistic child to fix gutters, etc. unsupervised.
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Old 05-30-2016, 12:11 PM
 
Location: todo el mundo!!
1,616 posts, read 1,790,587 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
Your meltdown would just cause the child to have one, too. Calmness is key here.
true i would be understanding with the kid. but the parents have to watch them they are throwing rocks my my house more then one time its a problem. and i had to work with ppl like that. they dont understand social cues. either way… parents are responsible and i would be really mad and take action. its called vandalism and its a crime. i dont care what the excuses are, the parents need to be schooled. the police can make sure everyones aware of the consequences if nescarery.
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