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Old 04-06-2017, 04:00 PM
 
56 posts, read 62,428 times
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Different behavior at home vs school?
Good afternoon everyone. I am looking to gain some advice about my 6 yr old who I am very certain has Autism Spectrum Disorder. My son has always been very hyperactive even as a a baby. He was also very difficult to console and would constantly cry. As he got older and could walk I noticed that he had some speech delays and repetitive behaviors such as lining items up and tracking objects with his eyes which I now know was stimming. I brought all of these concerns to the family practitioner at the time and was met with he will grow out of it or it is something that most kids do. I even had ECI come by and do an evaluation at age 2 and said that he was a bit behind on some things, but he was not behind enough to warrant intervention.

Fast forward now, my son is in kindergarten and I am having several problems. The teacher started some interventions in the classroom since about September such as: giving him more frequent breaks, setting up hour-hour behavior chart, and enrolling him in a friendship group. The thing is that in the classroom we are not seeing improvement so I opted to have him evaluated. The thing I have noticed is that his behavior at home is very different than in school and daycare. The teacher said he seems to be propelled by a "motor" he is constantly invading other kid's boundaries by rubbing his body on them or "getting in their face." He has difficulties following directions and is very forgetful. He also has a pre-occupation with certain things and right now it is weather. However I have noticed that his vocabulary is very expansive for his age and he is quite perceptive with great memory.

My concern is that when the psychologist observed him she said that he does not acknowledge or greet people when being spoken to and wont ask an adult for help. The thing is that at home he is very hyper, but he is able to communicate his needs and even tell me the things he has learned in school. When I walk him to his class in the morning and his teacher says good morning, he will just stare. He has boundary issues with getting in other kids faces and does not seem to understand when they tell him no. According to the observation he got in trouble for licking another students arm.

Can someone please offer some advice as I am completely lost?
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Old 04-06-2017, 06:56 PM
 
14,756 posts, read 15,027,565 times
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Some of what is being seen at school may be due to anxiety in the classroom. He may also have some sensory issues - he sounds like a sensory seeker, so he needs that input.

Once he gets a dx, you can find an OT who can suggest accommodations that will help with his body awareness and learning boundaries in terms of touching other children. You can work on that at home with games. If you have a hula hoop, you can show him how he should keep his body in his own space using it. Play freeze where he has to stop when the music stops or when you say stop (let him use whatever movements he loves to do - like jumping or spinning). Try playing *I am a Balloon* where he goes limp. There is a great book called Follow Me, Too by Marianne Torbert - it's published by NAEYC. It is on amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Follow-Me-Too.../dp/0201815974
This might be something that his K teacher could use because it lays out the reasons to play each game. She might not do all of them, but many are useful in the classroom.

The boundary issues are common with many kids this age, btw. You need to actively teach him how to respect boundaries.

Teaching Children With Asperger's About Personal Space: Here's How

Good luck!
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Old 04-06-2017, 08:30 PM
 
1,861 posts, read 831,759 times
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Quote:
My concern is that when the psychologist observed him she said that he does not acknowledge or greet people when being spoken to and wont ask an adult for help. The thing is that at home he is very hyper, but he is able to communicate his needs and even tell me the things he has learned in school.
It sounds like a comprehensive assessment would be valuable. It's not uncommon for kids with ASD to talk to their parents but not to strangers, but it's also common for kids with high levels of anxiety to do that as well. Additionally, it's not always the lack of talking that is present in kids with ASD, it's the quality of the interactions. Interactions that are predictable and have been done before are easier than novel interactions.

You're describing some sensory behaviors, some attentional behaviors, some ASD-like behaviors, and some common young child problems. I think a comprehensive evaluation will really help tease out what the symptoms relate to and hopefully you'll get recommendations that will help him in the classroom and home settings.

It's not uncommon to see some different behaviors at home than school. One big reason is that school tends to be more demanding and more structured than most home settings. Additionally, parents generally know their kids very well and tend to accommodate for quirks and anticipate needs. Teachers don't have the luxury of doing that with large class sizes and less time to get to know students.
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Old 04-10-2017, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
13,995 posts, read 12,787,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceKrispy View Post
It sounds like a comprehensive assessment would be valuable. It's not uncommon for kids with ASD to talk to their parents but not to strangers, but it's also common for kids with high levels of anxiety to do that as well. Additionally, it's not always the lack of talking that is present in kids with ASD, it's the quality of the interactions. Interactions that are predictable and have been done before are easier than novel interactions.

You're describing some sensory behaviors, some attentional behaviors, some ASD-like behaviors, and some common young child problems. I think a comprehensive evaluation will really help tease out what the symptoms relate to and hopefully you'll get recommendations that will help him in the classroom and home settings.

It's not uncommon to see some different behaviors at home than school.
One big reason is that school tends to be more demanding and more structured than most home settings.

Additionally, parents generally know their kids very well and tend to accommodate for quirks and anticipate needs. Teachers don't have the luxury of doing that with large class sizes and less time to get to know students.
Excellent points.

IMHO, the sentences that I bolded are the main reasons that children act differently at home. Look at it this way, don't YOU act differently at home than when you are at work? I bet if you take any situation from meal time to down time to working on a specific task (such as cooking, cleaning, house repairs) you, as an adult, will act differently with your immediate family than doing a similar activity or task with your boss and co-workers at your work site.
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Old 04-12-2017, 04:34 PM
Status: "Trump's worst is still better than Hill's best!" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Kansas
17,911 posts, read 11,687,464 times
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What interaction did your son have with other children and/or an environment outside of your home? If he isn't used to being around other children, he may just lack the skills to interact appropriately. A lot of the behaviors seem normal to me, not the lack of boundaries with others, but if he hasn't had exposure to other children, that might explain the issue. Also, if it turns out that he is used to one-on-one attention with an adult and isn't getting that at school, he may act out in seeking that attention and be jealous of the attention paid to other children, I have seen this.
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Old 04-12-2017, 11:23 PM
 
Location: Middle America
32,689 posts, read 34,081,144 times
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Task demands and consequences/follow-through on consequences quite often vary a great deal between the home setting and school setting, which can be tough for kids who thrive on consistent expectations.

As others have mentioned, attentonseeking behavior can ramp up when triggered by these inevitable differences.
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