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Old 08-29-2017, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,817 posts, read 5,655,551 times
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I have dressed up and walked around with my kids while they were trick or treating. Nobody thought anything strange about it, as I was obviously accompanying my children. If there is a family with kids that he or you knows, maybe he could ToT together with them, as opposed to on his own.
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Old 08-29-2017, 10:06 AM
 
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Because he doesn't drive and the houses near his apartment complex are not the best for Halloween (big lots, semi-suburban on unlit streets) my step-son does go with a family friend of his biological father that we do not know. They have two elementary age kids and he accompanies them.

My biggest concern is triggering another parent who doesn't know or understand autism.

Already this year we have had to tell him that it's not appropriate to take time off of work because Halloween is not a major holiday. He wasn't happy about that, even though he only works part time and is done with work by noon.

This is tough, in his mind he is six and enjoys childhood things. His biggest joy is his monthly visit to play games and get prize tokens at the local pizza chain geared towards kids. Trying to teach him that he is almost thirty and it might be time to stop going there.
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Old 09-01-2017, 09:28 AM
 
10,756 posts, read 8,118,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grmi66 View Post
Because he doesn't drive and the houses near his apartment complex are not the best for Halloween (big lots, semi-suburban on unlit streets) my step-son does go with a family friend of his biological father that we do not know. They have two elementary age kids and he accompanies them.

My biggest concern is triggering another parent who doesn't know or understand autism.

Already this year we have had to tell him that it's not appropriate to take time off of work because Halloween is not a major holiday. He wasn't happy about that, even though he only works part time and is done with work by noon.

This is tough, in his mind he is six and enjoys childhood things. His biggest joy is his monthly visit to play games and get prize tokens at the local pizza chain geared towards kids. Trying to teach him that he is almost thirty and it might be time to stop going there.
You said it's obvious that he is autistic. As long as he is accompanying at least one adult/parent and children, and stays with them the whole time, I see no harm in allowing him to trick or treat if it makes him happy. If anyone has an issue with it, then there is an adult there to step in, if someone even dares approaching an accompanying adult about it. I don't doubt that some other parents may be unnecessarily freaked out, but they can deal with it.

I do agree with others, though, saying that he should not go alone. I personally see a difference between him going alone and him going with other children and their parents (people he knows, obviously, and who are okay with him going with them). I think most people/other parents would also see a difference, and I honestly think most people will probably just ignore him if he's with others and not take issue with it.

I have to say, though, there is probably an age where he should no longer trick or treat at all. 27 still isn't that old. It's all very arbitrary and others may disagree with me here, but can you really see a 50 year old trick or treating? 55? Maybe even 45? Even if he has the mind of a child? I don't know, I think there's a cutoff point - I really don't know when, but I don't think he's there yet. Maybe as he gets older, you can try to subtly and gently cut back on his trick or treating time, or steer him into handing out candy in costume, even if it means coming to your house (assuming you live in a home in a neighbored rather than an apartment like him) to hand out candy for the night, or to the home of someone he knows to do so. He can still enjoy Halloween (and eating candy) without actually going door to door as he gets older.
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Old 09-01-2017, 12:26 PM
 
7,204 posts, read 6,279,650 times
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Could you host a modest Hallowe'en party in your home, and invite him and anyone else who knows, understands, and likes him? Costumes, simple games, decorations, refreshments, candy (of course!), with someone else assigned to be the door-opener for trick or treaters.

If potential guests include parents or children or others who'd otherwise be involved in trick or treat, perhaps they could drop by for fifteen or twenty minutes, then resume the doorbell thing.

Does your stepson have any workplace friends who might like to join in a party? Does he attend any social events for people with special needs? In addition to his autism, he seems to be developmentally delayed, from your description. Most communities have organizations for individuals with developmental delays and their families. If you haven't already done so, see if there's such a group in your community, and if they are planning a Hallowe'en party.

I hope your stepson has a very happy Hallowe'en.
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Old 09-04-2017, 05:07 PM
Status: "RIP Roxy and April" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
16,256 posts, read 19,517,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grmi66 View Post
I'm now the step-parent to a 27 year old autistic man and he still loves Halloween. But, he wants to go trick or treating around his neighborhood. Should we let him continue in blissful ignorance because in his heart he is six years old or tell him that it's probably best if he just hands out candy somewhere and still dress up? When you see him in a costume it's obvious that he is an adult, however once he says something and looks in your direction you can tell that he is autistic.

Our concern is that someday a parent of a small child might not understand why he is out going door to door.
Why should that concern you? I would certainly have no problem giving candy to him! The same would go for any Trick or Treaters who are older or developmentally disabled!

Why should Halloween be only for children?

Have you been to Party City or other costume outlets? There are as many costumes available for adults as their are for children.

I think that you a slightly embarrassed by your stepson's disability. Please don't be. Parents can easily explain this to their children. It's a learning opportunity!

I have another idea! Why don't YOU JOIN HIM? Yes, don a costume yourself and go Trick or Treating with your step son! You can use this opportunity to bond with your step son and to protect him from any unkind comments!
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Old 09-05-2017, 07:44 AM
 
2,693 posts, read 5,825,207 times
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Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Why should that concern you? I would certainly have no problem giving candy to him! The same would go for any Trick or Treaters who are older or developmentally disabled!

Why should Halloween be only for children?

Have you been to Party City or other costume outlets? There are as many costumes available for adults as their are for children.

I think that you a slightly embarrassed by your stepson's disability. Please don't be. Parents can easily explain this to their children. It's a learning opportunity!

I have another idea! Why don't YOU JOIN HIM? Yes, don a costume yourself and go Trick or Treating with your step son! You can use this opportunity to bond with your step son and to protect him from any unkind comments!
We are not in any way embarrassed by our son's disability. For religious reasons I'm not a big fan of the holiday but have no problem with others celebrating it, so the chances of ever seeing me in a costume are slim to none. Plus for work reasons we had to move a few hours a way and are unable to monitor him in person. But planning on moving back in a few years and will assign him to passing out candy at our house when we do.

Our stepson has already had interactions with the police over a misunderstanding of his disability, just like many men who have autism. We know our stepson's motives are innocent, but not everyone else in the world around him do. Hoping to head off another potential interaction with the police. It doesn't happen often (maybe once every 2-3 years) but whenever it does, it takes a year to get him to get over his anxiety.
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Old 09-05-2017, 12:26 PM
Status: "RIP Roxy and April" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
16,256 posts, read 19,517,102 times
Reputation: 37607
Quote:
Originally Posted by grmi66 View Post
We are not in any way embarrassed by our son's disability. For religious reasons I'm not a big fan of the holiday but have no problem with others celebrating it, so the chances of ever seeing me in a costume are slim to none. Plus for work reasons we had to move a few hours a way and are unable to monitor him in person. But planning on moving back in a few years and will assign him to passing out candy at our house when we do.

Our stepson has already had interactions with the police over a misunderstanding of his disability, just like many men who have autism. We know our stepson's motives are innocent, but not everyone else in the world around him do. Hoping to head off another potential interaction with the police. It doesn't happen often (maybe once every 2-3 years) but whenever it does, it takes a year to get him to get over his anxiety.

You should also do some research into Halloween and it's background. It has nothing, what so ever to do with satan or the devil.

It is a pre-Christian (pagan) Celtic holiday. There is no Satanic worship involved.

If he has already had altercations with the police, then I would double down on my suggestion that you or his father accompany him. I can understand your fears, since sometimes people, especially adult males who have difficulties with social cues, can innocently find themselves on the wrong side of the law. It is a good idea if he goes with a chaperone.

You did not mention this in your first post.

Let him Trick or Treat, accompanied.

If you still have your own reservations about it, then dress as a princess, a cow girl or a bible character. Please try to have fun! Just try to have fun!

I am a Christian and my church teaches nothing about Halloween. In fact, we have an annual Halloween party for the children and the neighborhood. This is not a "religious belief" but a historical fact. The devil is a Judaeo-Christian belief that has nothing to do with Halloween.

We don't preach at all about this matter, focusing exclusively on the teachings of Jesus Christ, helping the poor, the hungry, the orphans, widows, and victims of natural disaster. So most Christians, have no reservations about the holiday.

However, what ever you decide, IMHO - let him go Trick or Treating.
And I do agree that it should NOT be by himself.

And I am glad to hear that you are comfortable with your stepson's disability and that you are not using Halloween as a time to evangelize.

Last edited by sheena12; 09-05-2017 at 12:58 PM..
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Old 10-09-2017, 04:35 PM
 
Location: chicago
66 posts, read 21,181 times
Reputation: 199
I have not read every post so sorry if this was mentioned but I would highly recommend looking into the special recreation in the area. I sign my son up every year for this halloween party and it's at a school in a gym like a traditional school dance where they feed them and play music while they run around in costumes. It's pretty much like an adult halloween party with bouncers but with out the alcohol. there's food and costumes with lots of chaperones. parents drop off and then pick up. It's nice.
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