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Old 11-13-2017, 11:28 PM
 
439 posts, read 168,041 times
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Now that I have met and corresponded with her, I don't get the impression she is being abused. Her confidence level seems pretty high. Pretty sure I understand the situation now. And it was my error thinking she wasn't diagnosed until after age 18. She may have been a regional center client but isn't anymore. Which is fine.

They are from a town about 2 hrs away from here. A town which has many, or certainly enough, resources for her. Most likely they were utilized and are now dismayed with the Regional Center. It is a REALLY wicked Center, by the way. No way in hades (if I had a special needs child) l would I get them involved in this regional center. Not exaggerating, I am sure my husband and I would move to avoid this particular regional center. Sadly this same regional center also represents this area. That may have been their idea then realized later, they are STILL in that same Regional Center's territory. The parents aren't the most savvy.This family has been here less than a year.

We have a friend/acquaintance who is the head of a local State Dept of Rehab. I called him. He informed me there are programs for her thru the State which are not Regional Center based. He was trying to surmise how severe her disability is but only having one conversation limits me. Many parents are unaware of this as a resource. He also suggested I hand her a pamplet for IHSS. He felt she should have more eyes on her keeping her safe and happy.

She could do janitorial in this town, or work at the local restaurant. A few County buildings are located about 15 min away but she'd need a ride. No pubic transportation here. Tourist season here is just half of the year so any job here wouldn't be year round. Which might be perfect for her. Right now she attends an Assembly of God church (of just 10 members) with her parents. So it's very small church with little activities and socialization for her, I am sure. What would be best is to get her around people her own age, and preferably, out of this small town a little.
I see this girl doing quite well to be honest. She walks the town independently and is quite social with 2 of the 7 business owners here. But staying here with no contact with other friends her age, and just walking the town to visit two business owners isn't enough really. She will need more after a while. Especially with people her own age. We had maybe 7-8 sentences together and she brought it up something she really likes. It's the same place I want to volunteer so will ask if she can join me in that endeavor 2x per month. An easy way to get to know her independently. My suspicions tell me they won't have any issues with her volunteering with me. It's within walking distance of her house and her mom and I seem to click pretty well. Time to read up on what the Dept of Rehab has to offer, specifically, print it out and provide it to mom. Not immediately but it likely won't take too long. She was very interested in what i do and offered some info upfront regarding her daughter already.

Last edited by Jeaniee; 11-14-2017 at 12:40 AM..
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:39 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,492,743 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeaniee View Post
Now that I have met and corresponded with her, I don't get the impression she is being abused. Her confidence level seems pretty high. Pretty sure I understand the situation now. And it was my error thinking she wasn't diagnosed until after age 18. She may have been a regional center client but isn't anymore. Which is fine.

They are from a town about 2 hrs away from here. A town which has many, or certainly enough, resources for her. Most likely they were utilized and are now dismayed with the Regional Center. It is a REALLY wicked Center, by the way. No way in hades (if I had a special needs child) l would I get them involved in this regional center. Not exaggerating, I am sure my husband and I would move to avoid this particular regional center. Sadly this same regional center also represents this area. That may have been their idea then realized later, they are STILL in that same Regional Center's territory. The parents aren't the most savvy.This family has been here less than a year.

We have a friend/acquaintance who is the head of a local State Dept of Rehab. I called him. He informed me there are programs for her thru the State which are not Regional Center based. He was trying to surmise how severe her disability is but only having one conversation limits me. Many parents are unaware of this as a resource. He also suggested I hand her a pamplet for IHSS. He felt she should have more eyes on her keeping her safe and happy.

She could do janitorial in this town, or work at the local restaurant. A few County buildings are located about 15 min away but she'd need a ride. No pubic transportation here. Tourist season here is just half of the year so any job here wouldn't be year round. Which might be perfect for her. Right now she attends an Assembly of God church (of just 10 members) with her parents. So it's very small church with little activities and socialization for her, I am sure. What would be best is to get her around people her own age, and preferably, out of this small town a little.
I see this girl doing quite well to be honest. She walks the town independently and is quite social with 2 of the 7 business owners here. But staying here with no contact with other friends her age, and just walking the town to visit two business owners isn't enough really. She will need more after a while. Especially with people her own age. We had maybe 7-8 sentences together and she brought it up something she really likes. It's the same place I want to volunteer so will ask if she can join me in that endeavor 2x per month. An easy way to get to know her independently. My suspicions tell me they won't have any issues with her volunteering with me. It's within walking distance of her house and her mom and I seem to click pretty well. Time to read up on what the Dept of Rehab has to offer, specifically, print it out and provide it to mom. Not immediately but it likely won't take too long. She was very interested in what i do and offered some info upfront regarding her daughter already.
Its nice of you to care...but I am perplexed on why you think you know what is best for her after just meeting her.
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Old 11-14-2017, 04:05 PM
 
439 posts, read 168,041 times
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Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Its nice of you to care...but I am perplexed on why you think you know what is best for her after just meeting her.
I never said I was an expert nor that "I know what is best for her" from meeting her once.
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Old 11-15-2017, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,068,763 times
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Our son is at still at home. We have tried 4 day service centers that did not work out. Staff are often incompetent, they seem not even to have what I call "mom sense". Am I told he needs to be with others his own age, you know, the old "socialization" but that caused him to acquire many behaviors and habits that do not work for us at home and when we take him into the community. I would have to say that I could not be critical of someone on the point of "socialization".

If others are seeing the young woman on a regular basis, and she seems cared for, she may very well be happy with her situation. Often, with people with special needs, they can become overwhelmed with too much activity.

If the young woman may enjoy being with pets, doing crafts, gardening, etc. and be happy with her life.

I would love to find a program for our son and we do just limp along at this point trying to find something that will work. Socialization is only a good thing if the interactions cause positive results.

The worst here has been a larger day services facility where sexual abuse appeared to be prevalent. Everyone seemed to know in the town, except me. Then, we had where they did everything for him, and he expected us to do the same for him at home after working for years to teach him certain skills. The better programs won't take him for residential. And, lastly, complaining about such facilities is a waste of time, writing your congress people, filing formal complaints................. So, that some would keep their adult children at home should be of no surprise.
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Old 11-15-2017, 11:23 PM
 
439 posts, read 168,041 times
Reputation: 344
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
Our son is at still at home. We have tried 4 day service centers that did not work out. Staff are often incompetent, they seem not even to have what I call "mom sense". Am I told he needs to be with others his own age, you know, the old "socialization" but that caused him to acquire many behaviors and habits that do not work for us at home and when we take him into the community. I would have to say that I could not be critical of someone on the point of "socialization".

If others are seeing the young woman on a regular basis, and she seems cared for, she may very well be happy with her situation. Often, with people with special needs, they can become overwhelmed with too much activity.

If the young woman may enjoy being with pets, doing crafts, gardening, etc. and be happy with her life.

I would love to find a program for our son and we do just limp along at this point trying to find something that will work. Socialization is only a good thing if the interactions cause positive results.

The worst here has been a larger day services facility where sexual abuse appeared to be prevalent. Everyone seemed to know in the town, except me. Then, we had where they did everything for him, and he expected us to do the same for him at home after working for years to teach him certain skills. The better programs won't take him for residential. And, lastly, complaining about such facilities is a waste of time, writing your congress people, filing formal complaints................. So, that some would keep their adult children at home should be of no surprise.
I agree that socialization is a bit over-rated. Glad to hear you are so protective of your son, good for you.

You probably know this but you can go to your local regional center and they should have a list of authorized programs which are available in their area. And you may know but it also sounds like you qualify for IHSS You be your child's IHSS provider if you wish. It is almost a given you should get about 4-5 hrs automatically when you qualify and paid at at least, min wage for what you already do

Sorry to hear about your local center and sexual abuse. And worse, so so sorry to hear many people are mum about it thus protecting that facility from accountability. It does seem to be more rampid regarding the special needs population. My Aunt who has downs syndrome was in a home which got closed down for that very reason when I was a kid. No one listened to me when I told them he was hitting on me. I was only 10 yrs old at the time. And likely already involved with ***. As per her own words and his flirtation with her. She was a high functioning developmentally disabled girl whom he and his wife adopted. He was busted about a year later.
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