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Old 11-12-2017, 10:18 AM
 
439 posts, read 168,041 times
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We just moved and met a wonderful couple. This is a small town and the couple has a 25 year old daughter with aspergers syndrome. She was never diagnosed before age 18. She receives social security income (ssi)and her parents told us she really cannot cook or clean on her own. She must be "encouraged" heavily to do so.

SSI people here in California sorta get jipped as their SSI payment is increased by $20 to add some food stamps.
Meaning SSi folks here do not qualify for food stamps. They say she cannot live on her own and it is clear they wouldn't want her to.
She lives in an apartment above them. This is the state of California

We mentioned we were going to try out a few churches. I didn't offer to take her with us (we are strangers as of yet) but know the only outside socialization she has all year is 1.5 hrs with Dad where they walk into a church in town. There are only 9 members at this church.

Besides IHSS, which she surely qualifies for ....does anyone know what other services she may qualify for? Her parents are 24/7 caregivers. Otherwise she walks the tiny town of 5 businesses seeing the same two people each day outside of her parents. The businesses here are seasonal. She walks to the library and the store each day to socialize which is just down the street. So not much exercise either.

Her mother was asking me if I knew any resources which as I mulled over it, the only one's I knew are devoted to those who had kids diagnosed by the Regional Center before age 18. Which is where the funding is derived for my job.

The Parents seem a bit slow. Certainly not slow enough for any services but you can see a connection there. Dad also wears headphones, even while talking to us They seem to barely get by but they do get by. Gardening, making things and living simply. Wonderful family but the daughter, after a while, might get bored. Or maybe is already. This is a tiny county with barely any resources (beyond IHSS). We can take her to church but that ironically, is where she goes already. Her only constant outside of home ,interaction. So maybe sometime we can take her at least part time when our church has a special day or something. We will also try to have them all over for dinner here and there.

We may even know a good IHSS worker for them which might help get the daughter out a bit for a few hours a week. Very few people here but a relative of mine lives just 30 min away and she is wonderful with special needs individuals.

They are very interested in IHSS so I will drop off the info today. I've not found anything on the internet so suspect, there isn't much. Any supportive employment would require 1 on 1 and her to go beyond this county to receive services. Her parents won't do that from what I undrstand. If I volunteer at the museum, that might give her a little further distance to travel to see me. There are very few people here her own age, 90% of the 80-100 regulars here are middle aged to Seniors.

Last edited by Jeaniee; 11-12-2017 at 10:35 AM..
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Old 11-12-2017, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,068,763 times
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I take it IHSS is the state social services, so I wouldn't know of anything beyond that.

I suppose this listing of groups may not have anything close by: https://groups.psychologytoday.com/r...51&rec_next=21 and If You're Lonely, Find An Aspergers Support Group
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Old 11-12-2017, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,481 posts, read 15,913,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeaniee View Post
We just moved and met a wonderful couple. This is a small town and the couple has a 25 year old daughter with aspergers syndrome. She was never diagnosed before age 18. She receives social security income (ssi)and her parents told us she really cannot cook or clean on her own. She must be "encouraged" heavily to do so.
...

Besides IHSS, which she surely qualifies for ....does anyone know what other services she may qualify for? Her parents are 24/7 caregivers. Otherwise she walks the tiny town of 5 businesses seeing the same two people each day outside of her parents. The businesses here are seasonal. She walks to the library and the store each day to socialize which is just down the street. So not much exercise either.
...
Are you sure that you aren't being conned? Are you sure that the parents are telling you the truth?

It is hard to believe that a 25 year old woman who the parent's claim needs 24/7 care and "cannot cook or clean" was not diagnosed with special needs until she was 18 years old. Do you really believe that a person that is functioning that low was able to attend school and have absolutely no one notice that she has serious delays? Where were her teachers? Where were her guidance counselors? Where were the school social workers?

Heck, where were her parents? Why in the world did her parents wait until she was an adult of 18 before getting a diagnosis. She may have qualified for a wide range of services for years and years. There are many services that stop when you turn 18 and/or graduate from high school. Why did her parents wait so long before getting help for their child?
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Old 11-12-2017, 06:29 PM
 
439 posts, read 168,041 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Are you sure that you aren't being conned? Are you sure that the parents are telling you the truth?

It is hard to believe that a 25 year old woman who the parent's claim needs 24/7 care and "cannot cook or clean" was not diagnosed with special needs until she was 18 years old. Do you really believe that a person that is functioning that low was able to attend school and have absolutely no one notice that she has serious delays? Where were her teachers? Where were her guidance counselors? Where were the school social workers?

Heck, where were her parents? Why in the world did her parents wait until she was an adult of 18 before getting a diagnosis. She may have qualified for a wide range of services for years and years. There are many services that stop when you turn 18 and/or graduate from high school. Why did her parents wait so long before getting help for their child?
Yes germaine I could be being conned. I just met them.

The story sounded a bit odd. But the town we moved to is small, sadly, it is a possibility.

Thru time I will find out more. The town is small. The Dad is perfectly fine to work at burger king or something of that nature but not much beyond it. He talks constantly and has no clue about social cues whatsoever. His inlaws bought the building they live in so they pay rent to them. How they pay that rent is beyond me. The Mom is missing teeth but seems fine, socially. I do not understand why she married him.
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Old 11-12-2017, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,081 posts, read 3,062,520 times
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If the parents are socially inept, then they probably didn't notice that their daughter had problems. As for school, parents have to agree to interventions in most cases... so many parents, even those who have money and social status, will say no to having interventions for their kids. Sad but true. It's very possible that they declined services. Or that they moved around a lot and the poor girl just fell through the cracks. It's even possible that they homeschooled or sent her to some tiny church school.

Does she have a social worker who can work with her? The city I grew up in had a coaching program for adults with special needs. They taught them how to have jobs at fast food restaurants and grocery stores. When I worked at a chicken restaurant, there were two young men with special needs who came with a coach. The men did their jobs and the coach was there to help them communicate with others and to kind of supervise them. Maybe something like that is available in a nearby town... is there any public transportation at all, even one bus out in the morning and one bus in in the afternoon, so she can be a bit more independent?
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Old 11-12-2017, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,481 posts, read 15,913,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
If the parents are socially inept, then they probably didn't notice that their daughter had problems. As for school, parents have to agree to interventions in most cases... so many parents, even those who have money and social status, will say no to having interventions for their kids. Sad but true. It's very possible that they declined services. Or that they moved around a lot and the poor girl just fell through the cracks. It's even possible that they homeschooled or sent her to some tiny church school.

Does she have a social worker who can work with her?
The city I grew up in had a coaching program for adults with special needs. They taught them how to have jobs at fast food restaurants and grocery stores. When I worked at a chicken restaurant, there were two young men with special needs who came with a coach. The men did their jobs and the coach was there to help them communicate with others and to kind of supervise them. Maybe something like that is available in a nearby town... is there any public transportation at all, even one bus out in the morning and one bus in in the afternoon, so she can be a bit more independent?
In my area I believe that almost 100% of the job training programs take place at the high school level and end when a special education student graduates (they can attend HS to age 21). There are a few programs for adults but they are often very small and can only serve a tiny, tiny percentage of those in need.

That being said, it is important for people to see if they have programs in their area, as their area may be very different.
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:53 AM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,068,763 times
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As a mother of an adult child with special needs, I would be concerned about what was going on. Lots of sick people in the world doing unbelievable things.

There is always the option to call Adult Protective Services and report a possible "adult in need of care". They do not reveal who called and would investigate to make sure the young woman was being properly cared for, and they would be able to offer suggestions to the parents about services or having the young woman's needs met.

I guess I would wonder if she were their daughter or not, maybe they are hiding out from someone. Just so many possibilities. It just doesn't give me the best feeling.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,361,269 times
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The above is why early intervention is critical. Any public school she attended, no matter how small the community, would have been legally required to provide appropriate curriculum and instruction, had the parents advocated on her behalf. Self-help, independent living skills, etc. could have been embedded in instruction, since they weren't successfully being obtained at home. People with (formerly) Asperger's are more often than not capable of a high degree of functional independence, so I would wonder if there aren't other issues that aren't being attended to.

Waiting until after the school is off the hook for helping to access necessary services, and then trying to seek services, is not a good idea.

In a small, remote community, the truth is that behavioral health resources are often stretched very thin, and poorly funded, if they exist at all anywhere in reasonable proximity
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Old 11-13-2017, 08:15 AM
 
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It sounds odd...like perhaps she is special needs but being way over sheltered. I would just keep an eye on things and if any big red flags stick out, then call adult protective services.

On the other hand, it isn't always easy for parents to get help...or for them to accept something is wrong. Perhaps a combo of that played a role in all this. It wasn't that long ago, really, that special needs children would be just about taken and put in homes and there still is stigmas...especially in small towns. They might feel like they are doing the best they can for her.

I would just keep an eye on things...not try to fix them unless the parents or girl asks for help. Just be friendly but keep an eye out.
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Old 11-13-2017, 10:45 PM
 
13 posts, read 9,447 times
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ask bill gates


he will give autistic kids free money
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