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Old 01-09-2018, 11:28 AM
Location: Texas
6,444 posts, read 2,346,379 times
Reputation: 13823


Originally Posted by reebo View Post
My children are none of your business unless you/your child are in danger.
That's how I feel about it, too. Unless my child is doing something dangerous, a safety issue or aggressive (like hitting someone), it's none of any one else's business.
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:34 PM
Location: East Side
522 posts, read 537,420 times
Reputation: 594
No I haven't been having my child scolded at just people staring and giving dirty looks to me and I just ask them what they are looking.
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Old 02-05-2018, 01:35 PM
4,377 posts, read 1,490,886 times
Reputation: 10118
A couple of things here...

My youngest son is ASD. When he was young...we didn't know that. All I knew was "He's stubborn, intractable, and sometimes pitches fits." I felt plenty of judgement from different sources, and sometimes, I got looks. I only got a comment once, from a stranger.

My son was indeed pitching a fit, kicking me in a grocery cart and screaming his head off. The man behind me in the check out line said "Geez kid, give your mom a break."

I like to think that most people are more aware now. Maybe I'm wrong.

Also, I'm an older woman in the store, and I might look at a screaming kid. If you see me, know I'm not judging. I've been there, and I've done that, and more likely, I'm sympathizing with you AND your child. xoxoxo
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Old 02-07-2018, 08:08 AM
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,062,995 times
Reputation: 18141
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
That's how I feel about it, too. Unless my child is doing something dangerous, a safety issue or aggressive (like hitting someone), it's none of any one else's business.
I have a son with Down syndrome who is now an adult. When he misbehaved outside of what is normally acceptable for a child in a business, I took him out of the store until he settled down. That others saw that I was addressing the issue, no one ever gave me any grief over the situation. This is the same thing I did with my older son if there was an issue with him. I treated them both the same with extra effort and time with the one with DS, and both had the same results, they learned to model appropriate behavior.

My son with DS used to take off running, climb under clothes racks, grab at things, throw things.......... He was massive energy released! We did not medicate, which made the schools our biggest problem!

A screaming child? I would remove the child from the situation. Is that inconvenient to the parent? Yes, it is. Many times I experienced this inconvenience, but it all paid off in the end. As an advocate for choosing life for those to be born with Down syndrome, I want my child to represent the best outcome, and he does.

Those my son has not been tested, like many with Down syndrome, he is "autistic tendencies".

Someone else should not be put in a position to scold one's child.
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Old 03-16-2018, 04:58 PM
Location: Phoenix, AZ
5,939 posts, read 3,235,199 times
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Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If you have a child with sensory issues or special needs who is sometimes loud and yells, do you allow strangers in public to scold him/her? Or do you inform them of the child's issues? I have a 2 year old with special needs and can't go anywhere without getting dirty looks from people, because she sometimes yells out loudly. She has issues that we're working on in occupational and speech therapy, and her yelling is not the most serious concern at this point. I don't feel like explaining it to every single person that comes along, but I also don't want to isolate my child because then she won't develop any social skills at all.

I'd like to get opinions from other parents of children with special needs.
Grandma of one special needs child. Does that count?

Have you tried teaching the child about using his inside voice?

My son doesnít understand about teaching anything. Everything is ďthatís the way he isĒ.

Having raised 4 kids of my own, I believe parenting involves teaching your kids. Otherwise, how are they going to know how to behave if nobody guides them?

Teaching isnít easy. Itís a lot of work and itís exhausting. Itíll stick.
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Old 09-19-2018, 01:25 PM
Location: colorado springs, CO
3,996 posts, read 1,776,085 times
Reputation: 13784
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I'll be interested in the responses, because I come from the other side. I'm a manager in a retail thrift store. I never approach the children, I speak to the parents. Honestly, they are harder to deal with. I've had a child throwing toys, and when I called out to the mother, was screamed at because "he's autistic". I'm sorry, but the rules are the same for all of our customers. I've been called mean, racist, you name it, all because I enforce our few rules. No unattended children(that means you are in the same aisle as your child), no pulling the toys off the shelves and playing on the floor( fire dept requires all aisles be kept clear), and no removing merchandise that you have no intention of purchasing, just to entertain your child while you shop.

We don't often have screamers, but we've had a couple where we've had to ask the adult to take them out of the store until they calm down. The complaints of other customers require us to act.
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Except I specifically stated in my post that I wanted to hear opinions from parents of children with special needs. And this is also a parenting board specific to parents of children with special needs. Do you have children with special needs? I bet not, since you didn't mention it. I am already aware of the "other side" of the issue. I also never stated anywhere that my kid throws things and don't know where you are getting that from.

Now I can see this board is going to be littered with all kinds of people offering their un-asked for opinion, so I'm done with this.

Good God. I should have known.
That was a very relevant post, actually.

If you are seen starving your child; you canít get offended if others feed them.
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Old 09-24-2018, 06:00 AM
1 posts, read 207 times
Reputation: 10
According to me, yelling or scolding a special child or giving them 'dirty looks' won't help any cause. It can either compel the child to go inside an anti-social shell or turn them into a hostile and aggressive individual. Both of these situation will be hard on the child and its family especially the parents. Special children are called so because they have 'special' needs, they need to be treated differently and with patience for them to grow and prosper into their best version. They need their guardian's constant attention and nurturing. For them to feel an inclusive part of the society, we must learn to accept them in public spaces and not make it hard for them. Let them discover themselves!

I know a thing or two about special children because I had done volunteer work for about a year in this school called 'Mata Bhagwanti Chadha Niketan', it's an initiative of The Ponty Chadha Foundation where they teach and nurture differently-abled children. They make them self-dependent by educating them and teaching them job specific skills. During my tenure their, I fell in love with the place! I recommend moms and dads with a special child to consider the school for their own child's best. The positive aura that surrounds the entire school is very gripping. The children are immensely talented and they will make you wonder if at all they have any kind of disability. I am thinking to go back to serve there this winters- that's how much I love the place!

So far as your issue is concerned, I would suggest making smaller changes. Get a nice reputable therapist and understand your child. Let him understand himself. Don't yell in front of him or scold him. He will adapt to societal norms and in no time will flourish into a wonderful human being.
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