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Old 04-02-2018, 11:26 PM
 
1 posts, read 864 times
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I am posting about a friend of mine that has been raising a special needs grandchild since he was 11 months old. The child is 5 years old and was born from 2 drug addicted parents, while the mother was incarcerated. The father is currently a homeless drug addict that is in and out of jail and the mother is also drug addicted and in and out of jail.
The grandmother is in her mid-60s, legally blind, morbidly obese and suffers from a rare blood disease (Hypogammaglobulinemia) that affects the immune system. Her husband is in his late 60s, is in the beginning stages of dementia, and suffers from bipolar depression.
The grandchild was born a couple months premature, has profound autism, cerebral palsy and the same blood disease as the grandmother. He has reached the stage where the grandparents cannot manage him, even with numerous home health aides assisting them. He functions at about the cognitive level of a 2-1/2-year-old and has not even started toilet training. While he goes to a special needs school and has been seen by a behavioral specialist, this has met with limited success.
While I am not a licensed social worker, I did complete a year of masters level graduate classes in social work and it is my opinion that this child needs a good residential treatment facility to help him while he is still trainable and before his care demands kill one or both of this grandparents.
They are located in the Orlando Florida area, can you please offer any care recommendations.
Thank you
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Old 04-02-2018, 11:45 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,749 posts, read 38,849,708 times
Reputation: 48416
I would also be concerned that his grandparents' lack of ability to caregive for him put his wellbeing in danger.

Foster care may be in the cards. This is standard when guardians' ability to caregive for a child, particularly one with special needs, is compromised.

The use of the phrase "while he is still trainable" troubles me, FWIW.
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Old 06-21-2018, 03:45 PM
 
4,880 posts, read 496,301 times
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So sorry to read this, and no suggestions for the family, but this is just one more story (out of thousands of similar stories, probably) that illustrate the need for something to be done about extremely irresponsible people becoming parents.

I honestly wish that some kind of completely safe and semi-permanent birth control device could be implanted in all 14-year-old girls and then only removed after a woman is 25 and requests it (without restrictions or any kind of qualifying) -- and then to have a device implanted again after she gives birth UNLESS the woman shows that she is responsible enough and wants to have another child. (And, yes, I do know that I am "putting it all on the woman", but this would be the easiest way to do it.)

No, I am not a supporter of eugenics and I am certainly not in favor of casual sex (and especially not for teens!), but children born to completely irresponsible people is the kind of issue that affects all of us, whether directly or indirectly.

Last edited by katharsis; 06-21-2018 at 03:57 PM..
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Old 06-27-2018, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,610 posts, read 565,007 times
Reputation: 2866
Are they getting financial support from the state, Medicaid or some such support, for grandchilds care. There should also be a social worker with the state to support them be help find a alternative living situation for the grandchild before something catastrophic happens to either of the grandparents. Possibly a group home of some kind. Maybe they are just not ready to let go. Sounds like a sad and stressful situation.

Last edited by Izzie1213; 06-27-2018 at 05:26 PM..
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:40 PM
 
15,197 posts, read 16,646,823 times
Reputation: 14892
Quote:
Originally Posted by concerned friend View Post
I am posting about a friend of mine that has been raising a special needs grandchild since he was 11 months old. The child is 5 years old and was born from 2 drug addicted parents, while the mother was incarcerated. The father is currently a homeless drug addict that is in and out of jail and the mother is also drug addicted and in and out of jail.
The grandmother is in her mid-60s, legally blind, morbidly obese and suffers from a rare blood disease (Hypogammaglobulinemia) that affects the immune system. Her husband is in his late 60s, is in the beginning stages of dementia, and suffers from bipolar depression.
The grandchild was born a couple months premature, has profound autism, cerebral palsy and the same blood disease as the grandmother. He has reached the stage where the grandparents cannot manage him, even with numerous home health aides assisting them. He functions at about the cognitive level of a 2-1/2-year-old and has not even started toilet training. While he goes to a special needs school and has been seen by a behavioral specialist, this has met with limited success.
While I am not a licensed social worker, I did complete a year of masters level graduate classes in social work and it is my opinion that this child needs a good residential treatment facility to help him while he is still trainable and before his care demands kill one or both of this grandparents.
They are located in the Orlando Florida area, can you please offer any care recommendations.
Thank you
The problem is not really the grandchild. It's the combination of care giving for the child and for her husband. At 5, I don't think the child needs a residential home unless there are severe behavioral problems. I don't know of any residential treatment centers that take children that young.

Toilet Training will come, although it can be quite late for these kids. She may want to see if this Australian video helps. Many of us have had success using this. It is expensive to buy, but youtube has it free.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri5RHQ58RcM

She may want to get in touch with the Autism Society of Greater Orlando if she is not already in touch with them. Autism Society of Greater Orlando

Also Autism Society of Florida Autism FL | Autism Society Florida
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:45 PM
 
Location: planet earth
2,557 posts, read 901,475 times
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What happens to special needs children when there is no one capable of meeting their needs?
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Old 06-28-2018, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,923 posts, read 2,121,015 times
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Child Protective Services would have resources to help you with advice. I'm not saying to make a report to them, but they might be able to offer some help. The child very likely, would wind up in foster care once the grandparents can no longer care for him. This might actually be a better situation for him. The grandparents do not sound capable although I'm sure they are willing. But with their medical conditions, they aren't the best parents anymore for this child. They are part of a growing epidemic of grandparents who take on parenting roles. Most of the "parents" picking up kids from my child's school are actually the grandparents, and in some cases, the great-grandparents. The parents are no where to be found.
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Old 06-28-2018, 11:54 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,749 posts, read 38,849,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
What happens to special needs children when there is no one capable of meeting their needs?
I've had such students.

Where I am, they have become wards of the state, and live in group homes.
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Old 06-29-2018, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,304 posts, read 15,602,853 times
Reputation: 38228
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
What happens to special needs children when there is no one capable of meeting their needs?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
I've had such students.

Where I am, they have become wards of the state, and live in group homes.
In my state, usually they are in foster care. Sometimes, the foster parents have three to four children and it is the full time job for one or both parents. It normally isn't a "group home" like most people picture group homes.
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Old 07-01-2018, 07:53 PM
 
59 posts, read 75,490 times
Reputation: 83
A therapeutic home might be best. They are trained more than a regular foster home. Plus they will have all the outside services needed for the child.
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