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Old 06-20-2018, 07:03 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
3,996 posts, read 1,776,085 times
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Originally Posted by katharsis View Post
Having fostered and then adopted two kids with severe emotional and behavioral problems, probably due to their first years being spent with their very irresponsible and cocaine-addicted teen mom. The older one would have terrible tantrums if anything displeased her for the first year or so she was in our home, and the younger one was very hyperactive. I honestly do not think I could have managed without a very supportive husband.

I just don't know how anyone can handle literally 24/7 stress without one partner willing to give the other a break now and then. When our kids were small, even though my husband worked full-time and I was a SAHM, he made sure that I could leave the house for four hours every weekend to do what I wanted to do, and that made all the difference.

(Btw, we had no family close by, and the three times we had a babysitter -- one was even a preschool teacher and another was taking child development classes in college -- each of them very nicely told us to not ask them to babysit again. After that, we just gave up trying to go out as a couple until they were both in school full-time.)
I am a little jealous. Your husband is also a smart man!

I haven’t been out with my son’s dad “as a couple” since 2010. (That’s probably the last thing I want now) My last time out for “time for me” was in 2009 & it’s been 3 years since I’ve had any help with him to just run an errand, with the exception of while school is in.

The last few times I had left to just run a few errands I came home to chaos & my son screaming for me hysterically. That last time, 3 years ago, his dad was just kicked back in front of the tv with his feet up, tv blaring. He hadn’t even heard my sons meltdown even though I could hear him from the street. So I gave up on that. I kept my son with me in the emergency room last year for all of my 9 blood transfusions.

I’ve been a SAHM since the “Great Regression” (the year diagnosed) in 2006.

My son was both nonverbal & incontinent until age 8. He “went off” the weight & height charts at 8 weeks old & never went back “on” them. His pediatrician estimates he will be 6’7” by the time he is done growing. He is now 14. 6’1”, 220 lbs in a size 14EE shoe.

Ages 3-6 were terrifying & exhausting. The behaviors improved from ages 7-10 but by then I was reeling from the financial impact. Ages 11-13 were notable for behavior escalation & grief. Age 14 has marked the beginning of mortal combat. I cannot let my guard down. I believe it will improve in about 4 years, from what I have researched. And by then he will be transitioning from childhood therapy into adult & ive heard that can be rough.
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Old 06-20-2018, 09:31 PM
 
5,046 posts, read 599,444 times
Reputation: 13104
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
I am a little jealous. Your husband is also a smart man!

I haven’t been out with my son’s dad “as a couple” since 2010. (That’s probably the last thing I want now) My last time out for “time for me” was in 2009 & it’s been 3 years since I’ve had any help with him to just run an errand, with the exception of while school is in.

The last few times I had left to just run a few errands I came home to chaos & my son screaming for me hysterically. That last time, 3 years ago, his dad was just kicked back in front of the tv with his feet up, tv blaring. He hadn’t even heard my sons meltdown even though I could hear him from the street. So I gave up on that. I kept my son with me in the emergency room last year for all of my 9 blood transfusions.

I’ve been a SAHM since the “Great Regression” (the year diagnosed) in 2006.

My son was both nonverbal & incontinent until age 8. He “went off” the weight & height charts at 8 weeks old & never went back “on” them. His pediatrician estimates he will be 6’7” by the time he is done growing. He is now 14. 6’1”, 220 lbs in a size 14EE shoe.

Ages 3-6 were terrifying & exhausting. The behaviors improved from ages 7-10 but by then I was reeling from the financial impact. Ages 11-13 were notable for behavior escalation & grief. Age 14 has marked the beginning of mortal combat. I cannot let my guard down. I believe it will improve in about 4 years, from what I have researched. And by then he will be transitioning from childhood therapy into adult & ive heard that can be rough.
Oh, I am so sincerely so very sorry for you. You have had a VERY rough ride, and I wish I could tell you that it will get easier, but it probably won't. If you ever want to vent to a VERY sympathetic "ear", please feel free to DM me!
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