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Old 03-05-2009, 07:52 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,330,114 times
Reputation: 42508

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My middle child is 11 and has general developmental delay (PDD-NOS). Her strongest delays are in her emotional and speech development. To oversimplify things for the sake of this conversation, she's like a five-year-old in an 11-year-old body. A developing 11-year-old body. Her body is developing and I'm sure she's going to get her period very soon. Her older sister was 10, I was 11, and from everything I read, menarche happens in healthy girls anywhere from a few months to a year after the development of breasts.

I'm just at such a loss to talk to her about what's going to happen to her body. I tried once but she did not understand. She knows that women have babies but doesn't grasp enough. Our older daughter vaguely knew how babies were made, and we told her that her body would start practicing. Our autistic daughter won't understand that.

She was finally potty trained at 8 or 9 (I can't immediately recall), but her wiping skills are still pretty terrible, despite my discussions with her and my trying to be instructive. She's a big girl and not a baby, and I'm trying very much to give her as much privacy as I can. But I'm very worried about her hygiene once she starts her period.

I tried looking for some books we could look at together, but I haven't found anything suitable yet. These books are for girls who are emotionally and mentally 9 or 10 or 11, not 5.

Our children have a pediatrician, of course, but she is a regular pediatrician, not anyone specialized in special needs children. My daughter doesn't have any health issues and isn't on medication; this is just the way she is, so she didn't seem to need a "special" doctor. I have talked to this pediatrician about my concerns. She told me that I should broach the subject with my daughter (which is what I can't figure out how to do) and we'll deal with the hygiene stuff when it gets here.

I used to be on Depo Provera, and it was nice not having my period. It would be nice for me, her mother, if my daughter didn't have her period. I feel so guilty about thinking that, though. That doesn't seem fair to her, especially since she's only 11. My husband and I haven't faced the subject of her having kids someday--we're just focusing on this for now.

Almost all these threads are about autism. Please tell me some of you have had to deal with this.
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Old 03-06-2009, 08:56 AM
 
449 posts, read 1,479,654 times
Reputation: 197
Julia,
I sent you a DM.
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Old 03-12-2009, 07:08 PM
 
Location: San Antonio-Westover Hills
6,878 posts, read 18,216,480 times
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Oh Julia. My heart breaks for you, I can only imagine what you must be feeling. My daughter has autism, and will be 4 in May, and already I'm wondering how in Sam Hill I'm going to handle what you're talking about. Prayers go out to you with this difficult transition as your daughter goes from girl to woman.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:43 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,330,114 times
Reputation: 42508
Thanks, midwestmom and Mom2Feebs (feebs?! lol). I appreciate your replies. M2F and anyone else out there wondering how to handle this, I found a great book yesterday! I told my daughter's special ed teacher about my concerns, and yesterday at our parent-teacher conference, she showed me a book she had found.

Amazon.com: Taking Care of Myself: A Hygiene, Puberty and Personal Curriculum for Young People with Autism: Mary Wrobel: Books

I looked through the book a little, and it talks very simply about periods, bathing, acne, and all kinds of stuff related to becoming a young adult. It's perfect. Large print, simple words, simple pictures, lots of activities to do to practice and get ready for puberty. I ordered it yesterday from Amazon, so it should be here in a few days!

Last edited by JustJulia; 03-14-2009 at 07:44 AM.. Reason: Didn't need to spell out the book title - the link displays it
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Old 03-18-2009, 08:55 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,330,114 times
Reputation: 42508
The book arrived yesterday (I love Amazon), and it is GREAT. Even better than I thought. I really recommend it to parents who are in the same boat as me. The book is for boys and girls.
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Old 03-18-2009, 01:29 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,759,993 times
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I think that's great you found a helpful book.

My son has Asperger's which is a mild form of autism. He has a very, very minor case but his hygiene habits leave a lot to be desired...then again, he's just 10 and a boy...if you get my meaning.

Good for you, anyhow, dealing with this issue straight on.
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:51 PM
 
324 posts, read 784,052 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
My middle child is 11 and has general developmental delay (PDD-NOS). Her strongest delays are in her emotional and speech development. To oversimplify things for the sake of this conversation, she's like a five-year-old in an 11-year-old body. A developing 11-year-old body. Her body is developing and I'm sure she's going to get her period very soon. Her older sister was 10, I was 11, and from everything I read, menarche happens in healthy girls anywhere from a few months to a year after the development of breasts.

I'm just at such a loss to talk to her about what's going to happen to her body. I tried once but she did not understand. She knows that women have babies but doesn't grasp enough. Our older daughter vaguely knew how babies were made, and we told her that her body would start practicing. Our autistic daughter won't understand that.

She was finally potty trained at 8 or 9 (I can't immediately recall), but her wiping skills are still pretty terrible, despite my discussions with her and my trying to be instructive. She's a big girl and not a baby, and I'm trying very much to give her as much privacy as I can. But I'm very worried about her hygiene once she starts her period.

I tried looking for some books we could look at together, but I haven't found anything suitable yet. These books are for girls who are emotionally and mentally 9 or 10 or 11, not 5.

Our children have a pediatrician, of course, but she is a regular pediatrician, not anyone specialized in special needs children. My daughter doesn't have any health issues and isn't on medication; this is just the way she is, so she didn't seem to need a "special" doctor. I have talked to this pediatrician about my concerns. She told me that I should broach the subject with my daughter (which is what I can't figure out how to do) and we'll deal with the hygiene stuff when it gets here.

I used to be on Depo Provera, and it was nice not having my period. It would be nice for me, her mother, if my daughter didn't have her period. I feel so guilty about thinking that, though. That doesn't seem fair to her, especially since she's only 11. My husband and I haven't faced the subject of her having kids someday--we're just focusing on this for now.

Almost all these threads are about autism. Please tell me some of you have had to deal with this.

Hey Julia! I am sorry about all u have to go thru. Maybe the school that she attends can recommend a good doctor/therapist etc.

I suggest she take Depo to disable her period & don't feel guilty. You are doing the best for her.

Good luck!
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Old 04-24-2009, 07:34 AM
 
101 posts, read 497,927 times
Reputation: 91
Whoa my dd is 4 and she has PDD NOS and Ive been thinking about the same things! How will i tell her about her period and sex etc!? Im quite shy on that subject myself! I never even told my mom and to this day I dont discuss anything of that nature with her it just wierds and grosses me out!
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Old 04-25-2009, 12:56 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,330,114 times
Reputation: 42508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aniyasmommy View Post
Whoa my dd is 4 and she has PDD NOS and Ive been thinking about the same things! How will i tell her about her period and sex etc!? Im quite shy on that subject myself! I never even told my mom and to this day I dont discuss anything of that nature with her it just wierds and grosses me out!
I really recommend the book I mention above.
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Old 04-25-2009, 01:20 PM
 
324 posts, read 784,052 times
Reputation: 201
Actually I'm pregnant & worry about having a special needs child. What scares me the most is molestation. Perhaps you can teach her that as well. I'm not saying you haven't I just think it's one of the biggest challenges facing special needs children. I have seen too many horror stories of nasty pple taking advantage of these kids & their protection can not be over-stressed.
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