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Old 07-17-2007, 12:13 AM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,585,588 times
Reputation: 530

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I just wanted to let you all know that my son has an appointment with the ADHD clinic at the Childrens Hospital in Vancover tomorrow. He has been on the waiting list for just over a year now. We are SO excited! Imagine, going to a place where they know about ADHD and are specializing in it! I am (again) SO excited!

I will let you know how it goes.

Skoe
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Old 07-17-2007, 12:41 AM
 
5 posts, read 25,390 times
Reputation: 19
Default There is hope

Eddie, my 16 YO stepson, has ADHD but has now be medication free and mainstreamed for the most part for 3 years.

After 4 years of marriage to my wife, Eddie turned 10 years old and was totally controlling our lives and putting us on the road to divorce. I decided Eddie was the big loser if I walked out and finally put my foot down. We got the family is some progressive counseling, I put my wife on medication for depression as She felt guilty about huim having the disorder.

With the assistance of the school, doctors and nuitrionist, we modified the family diet and exercise program. Discipline was adjusted; my wife yelled entirely too much with no result except CPS standing on the doorstep.

Against the advise of the doctors and teachers (should I call them warehousing technicians???), I took Eddie off the debilitating drugs like Ritalyn, gave Eddie some responsibilties and got him a puppy. That puppy changed his life!

We still have problems with him withdrawing occaissionally and cruddy grades but my combination greatest fear and hope has come to fruition - today Eddie was talking to me about getting his learner's permit to drive.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!
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Old 07-17-2007, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 17,078,073 times
Reputation: 12328
Quote:
Originally Posted by flattopnm1 View Post
Eddie, my 16 YO stepson, has ADHD but has now be medication free and mainstreamed for the most part for 3 years.

After 4 years of marriage to my wife, Eddie turned 10 years old and was totally controlling our lives and putting us on the road to divorce. I decided Eddie was the big loser if I walked out and finally put my foot down. We got the family is some progressive counseling, I put my wife on medication for depression as She felt guilty about huim having the disorder.

With the assistance of the school, doctors and nuitrionist, we modified the family diet and exercise program. Discipline was adjusted; my wife yelled entirely too much with no result except CPS standing on the doorstep.

Against the advise of the doctors and teachers (should I call them warehousing technicians???), I took Eddie off the debilitating drugs like Ritalyn, gave Eddie some responsibilties and got him a puppy. That puppy changed his life!

We still have problems with him withdrawing occaissionally and cruddy grades but my combination greatest fear and hope has come to fruition - today Eddie was talking to me about getting his learner's permit to drive.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!
What modifications did you make to his diet?
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Old 09-02-2007, 05:57 PM
 
4 posts, read 13,871 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by skoe View Post
My 9 year old has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. For years we have felt hopeless, worried, confused and alone. I have taken my son to 9 different doctors. The majority of them knew very little about it and very few had ever had an ADHD patient. So many times we took him to doctors so they could study him and learn. That made us feel alone and frustrated. Our poor son was having to battle this alone with our best efforts at helping.

Finally I came upon our current doctor. He takes the time to find the right medication, he contacts the school every 2 months to see how he is doing and he was able to get him top of the list for counseling through the government. I can finally take a deep breath now that the weight is not all on me.

This is talking to you as a trained Youth Care Worker. I can not imagine what poor kids and families are going through who don't have the education or patience to deal with an ADHD child.

They are very difficult. If your child is ADHD you will know what I am talking about. Society is no help in the matter due to lack of knowledge. To give you an example..

One day we were in Ikea. I had my 3 sons with me and we were standing in a long line to pay. My son who was 6 at the time decided he didn't want to wait any longer. I told him we had to. He started screaming and kicking at me. He called me bad names and was about to run over to a display of napkins and I know he would have started throwing them. In a rage he would wipe 50 packs on the floor and start hurling them around. I couldn't let this happen so I got down on one knee, grabbed him by the waste and bear hugged him to me, pinning his arms and hands to his chest. I had to watch for his head because I knew his rage would make him want to head butt me. My oldest son was use to outbursts like this so he just kept playing his gameboy. After a minute my son calmed down enough for me to talk to him. When I looked up there were people starting at me and giving me the nastiest looks because I was physically restraining my child. What should I have done? Let him throw everything around? I by that time knew exactly what to do in his "freak out" outbursts.

These kinds of freak outs happen many times a day with ADHD children. They are not mentally able to understand the difference between right and wrong behavior. So many times people would tell me that I should discipline him more (these are strangers, my friends and family all knew we were doing our best), "put him in a corner for a few minutes, that will teach him" they would tell me. Little do they know that an ADHD child can't stop moving, especially when they are worked up.

That is just a few small examples of why we felt so alone. People who didn't understand the disorder felt we were bad parents and they didn't want their children associating with such an "unruly child". My poor son has been invited to 2 birthday parties in his 9 years of life. He has friends but the parents don't want to deal with him I guess.

Now he is on a medication to help calm him. He is able to sit and concentrate in school and the kids are beginning to like him better. He is in counseling to help him learn how to control himself. I could cry for the difference it has made to our family and to the quality of his life.

I also cry for all little boys and girls who have not been diagnosed or have families that will not get them help. I hate having my son on medication but it has made his life livable. Before meds he would ask me "mom, why am I even here on earth? Why do I have to live? Why do I have to be like this, I hate myself because I can't control myself." Before meds my son tried to climb out his second story window when he was mad at himself. He would isolate himself by picking on kids in the neighborhood thinking this was how to make friends. He would be picked on a lot because kids knew how easy it was to set him off and loved watching him get in trouble when he over reacted. I watched him cry at nights because his mind would not turn off and let him go to sleep. He didn't even start sleeping through the night until he was 6 1/2. Up to then he was up 4-6 times a night. I could go on forever talking about what ADHD has done to my child.

The sad thing is, when we were in the worst of it we couldn't find one support group.

Please let me know if you have a child like mine and just need to talk.
It's unfortunate that children are diagnosed with AD/HD and receive no education for themselves, their children or their teachers. Most children appropriately diagnosed with AD/HD could realize nearly comprehenisve solutions to concerns within approximately 2 months.

I don't think I would say children diagnosed "are not mentally able to understand the difference between right and wrong behavior." That might make the children appear unable to be helped, allow some people to opine these kids were a hopeless case, or allow the children to use that as an excuse.

Demonstrating acting without thinking is probably not the same as "unable to understand the..." The fact that these children DO know the difference, and then keep erring due to impulsive behavior, may cause them angst.

If parents knew how to help their children (and the solutions are considerably easy), parents might realize a much less stressful life with more successful children who were diagnosed (as opposed to "have") with AD/HD.
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Old 09-02-2007, 06:03 PM
 
4 posts, read 13,871 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by skoe View Post
I just wanted to let you all know that my son has an appointment with the ADHD clinic at the Childrens Hospital in Vancover tomorrow. He has been on the waiting list for just over a year now. We are SO excited! Imagine, going to a place where they know about ADHD and are specializing in it! I am (again) SO excited!

I will let you know how it goes.

Skoe
You might want to ensure that you and the rest of the child's family are part of any services you receive. Many times, children are treated as if they are mentally ill, medicated, the family knows little and is unprepared to provide staff with essential information due to unknowing...the child exits counseling...the parent asks "What did you do in there?" and the kid diagnosed with AD/HD shrugs shoulders and says "I don't know!"

You should know about AD/HD, the meds, b-mod and education/ laws during/ after your child's assessment. Your child and the rest of your family should be taught skills to cope (i.e. how this child may be a visual learner). The child's teacher(s) should be educated because they may have received no education on AD/HD in college.

Most children only use meds during times they need to sit still and pay attention.
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Old 09-12-2007, 09:29 PM
 
26 posts, read 77,940 times
Reputation: 22
I have a kid who has been diagnosed PDD NOS/ASD through special ed program at school. He is not an extreamely difficult case, but has been a challenge for us definitely. Some times I feel I do want to try meds, but at the same time I think some parents (as well as schools in some states) take an easy way out and medicate kids to just make their own lives easier. So, we keep on struggling. Here is what we have done: we moved across the country from West coast to Midwest looking for better school, found Montessori Charter school where they have great special ed program. We have taken him to a naturopath and added many vitamins and minerals to his diet. We make sure he gets 11 plus hours of sleep. We read through "Total transformation" program and have applied many techniques (my son is well aware there are consequences for bad actions and he knows we will follow through). in fact, I got many compliments from people saying that they have never heard of other people doing the same for their kids. He is getting better and more manageable, i am happy to say. He is playing with kids better.
Having said all that though i think medication is needed for some kids as a last resort. If the kids do become a threat to themselves or others and become suicidal, i think medication is a good solution , at least temporary.
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Old 09-13-2007, 09:01 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,936 posts, read 13,845,495 times
Reputation: 4382
Quote:
Originally Posted by cold_eh_ND View Post
I have seen an enormous amount of ADHD kids in my time...seems like every other child these days is 'diagnosed' with ADHD...seems more like medicine pumping to me. My youngest can sometimes be VERY out of control. She's never been diagnosed but a mother knows her child... I will not have my child put on all these drugs with horrific side effects so I find that alot of hands on, calm demeanor helps loads. Lots of hugs, talking calmly during outbursts and showing lots of love. They just need that extra bit of attention. Alot of parents aren't willing to put in that extra effort, but it's important for the sake of the child. In my experience, even with the most out of control kids, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS, loads of kisses and lots of attention.

Excellent post! I couldn't agree more. Too many parents out there are too quick to pump their kids full of medicine. I think the problems these days with childrens' behavior is a symptom of a greater problem, and that problem is a lack of parenting anymore. More and more families are broken, babies born out of wedlock to single parents, and the kids are shuffled from daycare to daycare to babysitter and don't get the opportunity to have a relationship with their own parents and have the opportuinity to have a happy, healthy upbringing. Its saddening..... and then to think that people think the solution to the problem is medication.... very sad. Wake up people!
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Old 09-13-2007, 12:31 PM
 
26 posts, read 77,940 times
Reputation: 22
I believe that no one can make a blanket satement regarding use of ADHD?ADD drugs. Every child's and parent's situation is different. It is easy to judge others when you are not dealing with the same situtaion yourself.
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Texas
718 posts, read 2,150,770 times
Reputation: 424
Default ADHD vs hyperactive

I started a thread in this forum a couple of weeks ago about my son getting into trouble his first week of kindergarten. It has not got any better. Today he was in a fight on the playground. I got a chance to speak with his teacher and asked her about his behavior. She stated his main problem is his impulsive behavior and his inability to finish or stay on the same task. I asked her opinion on whether I should take him to the doctor to have him evaluated for ADHD and her immediate response was "yes".

My problem is, at what point in time does a 5 year old go from hyperactive to ADHD? I do not want to jump on that bandwagon and pump him full of medication just to control him. He is so sweet and caring, I do not want to lose that, but, at the same time, if his behavior is affecting his learning potential and others in the class, when do you say enough is enough and have him evaluated?
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Old 09-13-2007, 06:55 PM
 
Location: South Central PA
1,562 posts, read 3,900,483 times
Reputation: 361
Quote:
Originally Posted by skoe View Post
My 9 year old has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. For years we have felt hopeless, worried, confused and alone. I have taken my son to 9 different doctors. The majority of them knew very little about it and very few had ever had an ADHD patient. So many times we took him to doctors so they could study him and learn. That made us feel alone and frustrated. Our poor son was having to battle this alone with our best efforts at helping.

Finally I came upon our current doctor. He takes the time to find the right medication, he contacts the school every 2 months to see how he is doing and he was able to get him top of the list for counseling through the government. I can finally take a deep breath now that the weight is not all on me.

This is talking to you as a trained Youth Care Worker. I can not imagine what poor kids and families are going through who don't have the education or patience to deal with an ADHD child.

They are very difficult. If your child is ADHD you will know what I am talking about. Society is no help in the matter due to lack of knowledge. To give you an example..

One day we were in Ikea. I had my 3 sons with me and we were standing in a long line to pay. My son who was 6 at the time decided he didn't want to wait any longer. I told him we had to. He started screaming and kicking at me. He called me bad names and was about to run over to a display of napkins and I know he would have started throwing them. In a rage he would wipe 50 packs on the floor and start hurling them around. I couldn't let this happen so I got down on one knee, grabbed him by the waste and bear hugged him to me, pinning his arms and hands to his chest. I had to watch for his head because I knew his rage would make him want to head butt me. My oldest son was use to outbursts like this so he just kept playing his gameboy. After a minute my son calmed down enough for me to talk to him. When I looked up there were people starting at me and giving me the nastiest looks because I was physically restraining my child. What should I have done? Let him throw everything around? I by that time knew exactly what to do in his "freak out" outbursts.

These kinds of freak outs happen many times a day with ADHD children. They are not mentally able to understand the difference between right and wrong behavior. So many times people would tell me that I should discipline him more (these are strangers, my friends and family all knew we were doing our best), "put him in a corner for a few minutes, that will teach him" they would tell me. Little do they know that an ADHD child can't stop moving, especially when they are worked up.

That is just a few small examples of why we felt so alone. People who didn't understand the disorder felt we were bad parents and they didn't want their children associating with such an "unruly child". My poor son has been invited to 2 birthday parties in his 9 years of life. He has friends but the parents don't want to deal with him I guess.

Now he is on a medication to help calm him. He is able to sit and concentrate in school and the kids are beginning to like him better. He is in counseling to help him learn how to control himself. I could cry for the difference it has made to our family and to the quality of his life.

I also cry for all little boys and girls who have not been diagnosed or have families that will not get them help. I hate having my son on medication but it has made his life livable. Before meds he would ask me "mom, why am I even here on earth? Why do I have to live? Why do I have to be like this, I hate myself because I can't control myself." Before meds my son tried to climb out his second story window when he was mad at himself. He would isolate himself by picking on kids in the neighborhood thinking this was how to make friends. He would be picked on a lot because kids knew how easy it was to set him off and loved watching him get in trouble when he over reacted. I watched him cry at nights because his mind would not turn off and let him go to sleep. He didn't even start sleeping through the night until he was 6 1/2. Up to then he was up 4-6 times a night. I could go on forever talking about what ADHD has done to my child.

The sad thing is, when we were in the worst of it we couldn't find one support group.

Please let me know if you have a child like mine and just need to talk.
Pft, medication. My parent dealt with mine. (was going to say I dealt with it, but in reality it was my parents that had to deal with it) When I was out of line I got spanked, even if it was a public place. I think i've turned out fine. I think medication is an excuse/temporary fix. I was on Zoloft for about 10 months for anxiety about 3 years ago, and now I'm more or less the same as I was back then.

ADHD is an excuse of parents to explain their inability to control their kids, and imo isn't an actual disorder. But of course that's my oppinion.
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